Do you mean to say I'm not turning you on?
Posted on 08/23/2006 10:49:11 AM PDT by jasoncann
Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.
Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.
Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure…at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?
Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse's parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married--it's just that they are less likely to be so than non-working women. And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.
To be clear, we're not talking about a high-school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.
If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research).
Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home and women have tended to do "non-market" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.
In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect. "I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says. A few other studies, which have focused on employment (as opposed to working hours) have concluded that working outside the home actually increases marital stability, at least when the marriage is a happy one. But even in these studies, wives' employment does correlate positively to divorce rates, when the marriage is of "low marital quality."
The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."
There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.) Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.
And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually-transmitted disease. Plus divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.
So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. According to a 2004 paper entitled "What Do Social Scientists Know About the Benefits of Marriage?" marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances," higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.
A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.
Artist: Jimmy Soul Lyrics
Song: If You Wanna Be Happy Lyrics
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.
Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.
Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook.
Yeah?. Okay.
The article is spot on....
[need I explain?]
Rodney Dangerfield said, "Marry a woman who can cook. The sex will wear off but you'll always be hungry."
That should have been th openning sentence of this..........
This is VERY accurate advice. However, I think if you distill this advice down to its bare essence, it means, "don't marry a selfish person - man or woman. Sage advice.
I'm glad I didn't, but in my younger days I could have very easily made that mistake.
True.
And on another note, it's very sad that our culture generally values work over motherhood. Raising children properly, and running a household well, requires a great deal of skill, virtue and perseverence. But the reward is far greater than anything the working world can offer.
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
bump
A farmer told me once that when looking for a wife he didn't want to marry the "hired hand."
I'm never quite sure how to take articles like this. I'm the product of a two-parent home, and my mother quit her job and stayed home with us from day one. I hope to do the same if I should get married...but it hasn't happened yet.
So what am I - and single women like me - supposed to do? I can see how the really ambitious out to take the world by force kinda gal whose work is her life might not be the greatest marriage material. She's married to her work and would find it almost impossible to make room for a husband and children. But what about the rest of us? Are we not supposed to support ourselves? Is it shameful to do something other than being a clerk or shop assistant of some kind? Is it wrong to want enough to have a car and an apartment and a few other niceties?
What about shoes? Is it okay if she wears shoes?
Personally, I'm glad I married a career woman. When we eat dinner together, she can talk to me about things more interesting than the soaring price of potatoes.
Yeah, it's called most women ticked off that they carry most of the household duties (I'm not talking ALL men and I don't want to hear from men who give me the "I help out" line) AND bring in salaries. Can cause some bitter resentment over time.
Accurate article.
I am a wife and mother before a career woman. Hubby and I agreed that I wouldn't put work before family. I didn't work the first 8 years after giving birth. Afterwhich, I worked because I wanted to and make good money. I even turned down promotions that would take me away from home for too long. Many have chastised me but I don't regret my priorities. And my employer appreciated my candor and honesty. Our daughter is in college now and understands (and appreciates) why I put family first.
>What about shoes? Is it okay if she wears shoes?
No. If she has shoes, she might venture outside of the house and become aware of the world outside. This could upset the idyllic marriage.
It is also preferable that she have an IQ on the low side, not speak English, be illiterate, and have no living family anywhere. This tends to make a harmonious relationship.
Probably why a lot of career women are looking for a gay girl friend to clean the house and do the clothes. Then they adopt a baby or have one turkey basted, and things go along ok until the household part of the pair decides she is getting the short end of the stick. No I dont mean that stick.
Shoes are okay, but there may be a shortage because I believe my wife has bought most of them.
I'm sure there are men who are insecure enough to need someone like you describe. Fortunately, I don't know those men. :-D
Do you mean to say I'm not turning you on?
Bawhahaha...RUSH is talking about this article...HA!
Kevin Federline married a career woman and it worked out okay for him.
Rush found this article...
Several of us have tried to corner the market, I agree, but they do seem to keep making more.... :)
>>>Is it shameful to do something other than being a clerk or shop assistant of some kind? Is it wrong to want enough to have a car and an apartment and a few other niceties?>>>
No, don't bother wasting your time gaining enough experience or education to be able to support yourself if need be. You should just sit around and wait on some lovely man to want to support you and hope and pray he doesn't run off with his secretary. Of course if he does, and it does happen, you can rely on your cashier skills to support yourself while he lets his new woman stay at home. (Happened to my best friend, homeschooled her kids, then he had an affair with a co-worker and she is working at a chain store now after spending 12 years at home)
I have three daughters, they will all have an education provided for them. One wants to be a vet (and is preparing for vet school after college in her heart and mind, knowing the hard work needed), one wants to be a hair stylist, one wants to be a "mommy". All are fine professions. But they will all be educated to provide for themselves if need be.
Lovely song. Kind of like Don't Worry, Be Happy...
So apparently there is much to be said for keeping the little woman barefoot and pregnant, eh? Well, Income tax rates and inflation raged until mama needed to go to work to help put bread on the table. Of course, in too many cases, the table had to be 100% mahognany, with six matching chairs. Let's face it, the family has been a victim since the late 50's. It is true, however, that to retain the wife's respect, the husband should be the (true-blue) heavier earner. The ones who have suffered the most are the children. And the childrebn are the future. :o(
Yes, but separated by decades..........
Why marry at all?
We will never find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible. What we will find is pretty damning against Prima Scriptura, however...
Prima scriptura suggests that ways of knowing or understanding God and his will, that do not originate from the Bible, are in a second place, perhaps helpful in interpreting Scripture, but testable by the Bible and correctable by it, if they seem to contradict Scripture.
Revelations/Apocalypse 22:18 For I testify to every one that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book: If any man shall add to these things, God shall add unto him the plagues written in this book.
Why not pick your fights with Muslims, not fellow Christians?
I can vouch for this.
I've only dated professional women with careers and probably wouldn't consider marrying a woman without one. But I am attracted to intelligent, ambicious women who can challenge me. The idea that I would have a lesser chance of success in my marriage than others is ludicrous based on this data. The two main flaws in this article: "Because if many social scientists are to be believed..." and of course the main one, "Correlation does not imply causation." Which, although the author mentions it in passing at the end of his article, still makes the mistake of implied causation over and over in this piece.
It's OK to marry a career woman. Just don't marry a bitch.
"Ya my wife told me she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car, and she wants me to drive!"
If you marry an ugly woman no one will try to steal her away from you. And if they do -- who cares?
"Kevin Federline married a career woman and it worked out okay for him."
Not quite. He married Britney Spears (pop idol, sex fantasy for millions) and within a year she got fat and turned into trailer trash.
You can always say, "That poor bastard was more desperate than I was!"..........
LOL!
I'm not sure if you're being series or not, but I'd say you need to find a different wife.
The trouble with articles like this is that they generalize. I know of quite a few successful marriages where husband and wife both have careers and kids and busy lives, and manage just fine. The ideal, for me anyway, is that the wife would stay home and raise the kids, if she wants to. I think it's better for the kids.
Was that song out about the time of Volare? And WTF is Volare about, anyway?
She was already TT............
Getting out the popcorn...
bump
"He married Britney Spears (pop idol, sex fantasy for millions) and within a year she got fat and turned into trailer trash."
She didn't turn into trailer trash. She always was trailer trash. You can take the trash out of the trailer but you can't take the trailer out of the trash.
See, I'm exactly the opposite. I never talk shop (or listen to shop) for longer than a few seconds. The fact is, work stories after a certain point become repetitive. The names change but the stories & situations are the same. I find work related stuff becomes dull & uninteresting after a while.
But, I think this article infers that career women are very likely to be the "Bi%t#hes.
Rosie, the whole time I was a professional trainer for a school district and also a home-based executive with a direct sales company, I wanted to get married and have kids. As soon as my direct sales income equalled my "professional" paycheck, I quit my "day job". When the kids came along, I had the home-based busines down to a semi-art and am doing a fairly good job of balancing both. I do know career women, though, who fit this article's description to a 't'.
That is a damn good song, my friend...
And it's sooooo truuuuuue....
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