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Hey, Doll, You Need a Real Man
Los Angeles Times ^ | August 23, 2006 | Dean P. Johnson

Posted on 08/23/2006 3:40:42 PM PDT by nickcarraway

YOU CAN DRESS him up any way you want. Change his appearance to make him look like Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp or even John Wayne. Tough boy, homeboy, cowboy. It doesn't matter. Ken is still a castrated man.

Ken has always lived in the shadow of the venerable girl next door. He is an afterthought, known for nothing but being a mere accessory, sold separately. Mattel is trying to bring him back after a hiatus, but with a lobotomized grin and submissive gaze, he is the epitome of role reversal. While Barbie has been a regular career gal with a plethora of jobs — doctor, lawyer, flight attendant — Ken seems to be nothing but a foppish playboy, a passenger in the dream car of life.

ADVERTISEMENTGenerations of girls have had the opportunity to learn how to manipulate and emasculate the male species by not only giving Ken their own feminine qualities but by allowing Ken to be totally dominated by Barbie. But is that what women really want?

When I was growing up, the girls in my neighborhood all played with Barbie dolls; that category included Ken. We boys would not be caught dead playing with dolls. Even on a rainy Saturday afternoon when no other guys were around, boys couldn't stand to be around their sisters' Barbies.

We boys did not play with dolls. We played with action figures, and Ken was no action figure.

Action figures were real men: Geronimo, Gen. Custer, GI Joe. They were made from hard plastic and had cool things like a Kung Fu grip. Every nick, scratch, scrape and dent in the plastic was a badge of honor. Ken was soft plastic with shorts even your father wouldn't wear. And he had accessories of his own: shoes, tennis racket, skates.

(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: actionfigures; barbie; dolls; ken; mattel; toys
DEAN P. JOHNSON teaches English at Camden (N.J.) Academy Charter High School and is an adjunct professor at Rowan University in Glassboro, N.J.
1 posted on 08/23/2006 3:40:43 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Men, marginalized.

2 posted on 08/23/2006 3:42:28 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: nickcarraway

What do you expect? Ken has no genitalia.


3 posted on 08/23/2006 3:43:59 PM PDT by Trampled by Lambs (A storm is coming...)
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To: martin_fierro

bad breath optional


4 posted on 08/23/2006 3:44:18 PM PDT by woofie
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To: nickcarraway
>Hey, Doll, You Need a Real Man

Somebody should make
a Bruce Campbell doll. Every
woman would buy one!

5 posted on 08/23/2006 3:45:58 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: nickcarraway
Action figures were real men: Geronimo, Gen. Custer, GI Joe. They were made from hard plastic

But not too hard to be blown to pieces by firecrackers strapped to their backs.

6 posted on 08/23/2006 3:46:29 PM PDT by ElkGroveDan (California bashers will be called out)
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To: martin_fierro

Most of my toys were real metal and had sharp edges. My other "toy" was a hunting rifle. God I feel so old.


7 posted on 08/23/2006 3:47:57 PM PDT by Shaun_MD (Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my fingers to fight, and my hands to war.)
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To: nickcarraway

Hey, even Barbie dumped Ken for a real action figure a while back:

http://www.nicoclub.com/nissan-vids/300zx-toys.mov


8 posted on 08/23/2006 3:47:57 PM PDT by Spktyr (Overwhelmingly superior firepower and the willingness to use it is the only proven peace solution.)
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To: Trampled by Lambs
What do you expect? Ken has no genitalia.

Neither did the action figures, such as GI Joe, etc.

9 posted on 08/23/2006 3:49:33 PM PDT by Ol' Dan Tucker (Karen Ryan reporting...)
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: Ol' Dan Tucker

GI Joe don't need no genitalia.


11 posted on 08/23/2006 3:52:17 PM PDT by calljack (Sometimes your worst nightmare is just a start.)
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To: martin_fierro

Looks like Chevy Chase.


12 posted on 08/23/2006 3:52:36 PM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: nickcarraway

bump for later


13 posted on 08/23/2006 3:53:40 PM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: martin_fierro

*DISCLAMER: Neither product sold will actually have sex with a female. Void where prohibited.

14 posted on 08/23/2006 4:09:14 PM PDT by SkyPilot
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To: nickcarraway
DEAN P. JOHNSON teaches English at Camden (N.J.) Academy Charter High School and is an adjunct professor at Rowan University in Glassboro, N.J.

Not for long after essentially naming Ken as a flaming fag.

15 posted on 08/23/2006 4:09:23 PM PDT by Ouderkirk (Don't you think it's interesting how death and destruction seems to happen wherever Muslims gather?)
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To: SkyPilot
Neither product sold will actually have sex with a female.

And while they might take garbage from a feminazi, neither one will take out the garbage!

16 posted on 08/23/2006 4:26:56 PM PDT by hunter112 (Total victory at home and in the Middle East!)
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To: nickcarraway
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
17 posted on 08/23/2006 4:29:00 PM PDT by digger48
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To: nickcarraway
Will my husband have to sit in the back seat?
18 posted on 08/23/2006 4:31:07 PM PDT by msnimje (What part of-- "DEATH TO AMERICA" --do the Democrats not understand?)
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To: theFIRMbss

"Somebody should make
a Bruce Campbell doll. Every
woman would buy one!"

Groovy.


19 posted on 08/23/2006 4:31:25 PM PDT by Names Ash Housewares
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To: ElkGroveDan
...But not too hard to be blown to pieces by firecrackers strapped to their backs......LOL! ....a fine tradition, fer sure. :^)
20 posted on 08/23/2006 4:33:48 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just b/c your paranoid; Doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. :^)
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To: nickcarraway
Hey, Man, You Need A Real Doll

LOL!


21 posted on 08/23/2006 4:34:28 PM PDT by Dumpster Baby ("Hope somebody finds me before the rats do .....")
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To: ElkGroveDan
But not too hard to be blown to pieces by firecrackers strapped to their backs.

A fine tradition since 1961.

22 posted on 08/23/2006 4:35:27 PM PDT by BigSkyFreeper (There is no alternative to the GOP except varying degrees of insanity.)
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To: Dumpster Baby
..as opposed to Ms. Helen Thomas???? :D
...and I won't waste bandwidth w/ her photo.
23 posted on 08/23/2006 4:38:11 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Just b/c your paranoid; Doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. :^)
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To: Dumpster Baby

Think I went out with her once. Can't remember because I was drunk. (Just kidding dear, please put the bat down.)


24 posted on 08/23/2006 4:41:05 PM PDT by Shaun_MD (Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my fingers to fight, and my hands to war.)
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To: ElkGroveDan

Or set on fire.


25 posted on 08/23/2006 4:52:40 PM PDT by packrat35 (guest worker/day worker=SlaveMart)
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To: ElkGroveDan

My GI Joes used to stage commando raids against my sister's Barbie Dream House...


26 posted on 08/23/2006 5:17:50 PM PDT by thoughtomator (There is no "Islamofascism" - there is only Islam)
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To: nickcarraway

He didn't have a lobotomized grin before?

My GI joes used to arrest Ken. We had him tied to a chair for questioning. He sang like a canary.


27 posted on 08/23/2006 5:41:03 PM PDT by Dominick ("Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought." - JP II)
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To: nickcarraway
Get over it, man.
28 posted on 08/23/2006 5:52:30 PM PDT by Graymatter
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To: digger48

Transgender Barbie looks like a Kennedy. Not sure which one. But a Kennedy.


29 posted on 08/23/2006 5:54:51 PM PDT by Graymatter
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To: digger48

Lol! Are you trying to kill me? :)


30 posted on 08/23/2006 5:56:23 PM PDT by derllak
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To: nickcarraway

My Barbie's guy was my brother's G.I. Joe. Even back in the sixties, I knew Ken was a wimp.


31 posted on 08/23/2006 6:01:09 PM PDT by demnomo
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To: nickcarraway
Santa Claus: "What do you want for Christmas, little girl?

Girl: "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe!"

Santa Claus: "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"

Girl: "No, Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She just fakes it with Ken."

32 posted on 08/23/2006 6:06:33 PM PDT by quark
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To: derllak

What? you mean you didn't already experiment with Ken in Barbies dresses when you were a kid? Didn't they still make Barbie Dolls in the early '90's?


33 posted on 08/23/2006 6:22:05 PM PDT by digger48
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To: digger48

Never occured to me to put Barbies clothes on Ken, Digger. But if they would've had a faggot Ken when I was growing up.....oh the things I would make him do! Lol!


34 posted on 08/23/2006 6:25:22 PM PDT by derllak
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To: derllak

Geez, that compliment on your age flew right on by, didn't it? :)


35 posted on 08/23/2006 6:47:54 PM PDT by digger48
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To: ElkGroveDan
But not too hard to be blown to pieces by firecrackers strapped to their backs.

Wow! A suicide-bomber action figure. That should sell well in the Middle East.

36 posted on 08/23/2006 6:51:34 PM PDT by reg45
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To: nickcarraway
Or, you can get a John Mark Karr doll ... ready for his gender re-assignment!


37 posted on 08/23/2006 7:17:14 PM PDT by Rte66
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To: digger48

ROFL! No, I noticed, just wasn't sure you meant it (which I know you don't!) but very sweet anyway! Thank you, Grampa! ;)
Wanna pay Barbies with me, Gramps? C'mon, I KNOW you really want to!


38 posted on 08/23/2006 7:41:37 PM PDT by derllak
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To: derllak
Well, you know how they said those Bugs Bunny cartoons would warp us....

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

39 posted on 08/23/2006 7:55:18 PM PDT by digger48
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To: digger48

ROFL! So THAT'S why I'm so sleazy! Grampa, you're getting senile! :P


40 posted on 08/23/2006 8:09:28 PM PDT by derllak
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