Posted on 08/24/2006 6:57:50 AM PDT by presidio9
Of course, that pic had to show up too. Good job!
"The scientists say reducing polar bear penis size would make sex less successful, upsetting naturally slow-to-grow polar bear numbers."
Not to mention upsetting the female polar bears.
Bear Alert
The Alaska State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising
hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions
and be on the alert for bears while in the area.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little
bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears
unexpectedly.
They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an
encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs
of bear activity.
People should be able to recognize the difference between black
bear and grizzly bear droppings.
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly
squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear droppings are large, have bells in them and smell like pepper
spray.
Don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Minnesota, Duluth. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water,sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both leg in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the time praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear"
The genitals of polar bears in east Greenland are apparently dwindling in size!
What is algore, kerry, sharpton, franken, biden, reid, and all other male libs Excuse????
Tragic!
FYI
No f***ing way!
Problem is the bears' lack of access to e-mail, where one is contacted, on a daily basis, by folks worried about penis size - and who say they can help.
That don't bother me none: I'm still getting plenty.
Its ball shrinking cold up there.
OK, I'm forwarding all my spam to the arctic now.
Well.. there's this joke about a guy from the lower 48 asking an Alaskan what one must do to be considered tough in Alaska...
Polar Bear? Is that a new term for liberlas and demorats that I missed?
Cute and funny pic!
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