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Dear Senator Sarbanes (Request to become an illegal alien)
Federation for American Immigration Reform ^ | 9/7/2006 | unknown

Posted on 09/08/2006 9:40:55 AM PDT by bordergal

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien, and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If My understanding of the bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five years of income taxes in return for paying a $2000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings of approximately $72,000. After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000.

In addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien such as free healthcare, avoidance of paying Social Security taxes, buying automobile insurance, and serving on jury panels, etc.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 109th; aliens; illegalimmigration; immigrantlist; sarbanes

1 posted on 09/08/2006 9:40:57 AM PDT by bordergal
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To: bordergal

Hee, hee!


2 posted on 09/08/2006 9:42:16 AM PDT by scott7278 (The War on Terror includes defending the homefront from the MSM.)
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To: bordergal

LOL. Good point.


3 posted on 09/08/2006 9:42:40 AM PDT by patton (Sanctimony frequently reaps its own reward.)
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To: bordergal

Please tell me this was really mailed to the good Senator!


4 posted on 09/08/2006 9:44:55 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: bordergal

I thought this was going to be an article about someone wanting to avoid paying out-of-state tuition. We already are looking into what documents it takes to prove one's undocumented status so that we can get a smaller tuition bill.


5 posted on 09/08/2006 9:46:27 AM PDT by P-40 (Al Qaeda was working in Iraq. They were just undocumented.)
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To: bordergal
I would love it if 12 or 15 million US citizens would march into Mexico at the same time and demand services from the Mexican government.
6 posted on 09/08/2006 9:48:45 AM PDT by msnimje (What part of-- "DEATH TO AMERICA" --do the Democrats not understand?)
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To: Froufrou

I don't know about Senator Sarbanes, but I plan on making some minor edits and sending it to both of mine.


7 posted on 09/08/2006 9:49:27 AM PDT by bordergal (John)
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To: bordergal; hellinahandcart; Renfield; Lil'freeper; big'ol_freeper; tgslTakoma; Trueblackman; ...
Just think.

Saint Paul the Appalling's son is running for CONgress in the 2nd (or 3rd, I forget which) congressional district.

I've seen his campaign commercial and him bloviating on MPT during their "debate" infomercials series.

Shudder.

8 posted on 09/08/2006 9:56:38 AM PDT by sauropod (Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." PJO)
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To: bordergal

Teehee, I like your style!!! I would LOOOVVVEEE to send it to my Rep. Gonzalez. He's pro-TX border. Dolt.


9 posted on 09/08/2006 9:57:26 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: bordergal

Maybe I should do this, since I could keep more of my income for the next five years, and should I decide to go back to college in another baccalaureate program, I could get in-state tuition anywhere in the country. After all, law-abiding taxpayers are rubes, according to the Senate, so why would I want to be one of those?


10 posted on 09/08/2006 10:09:47 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Going partly violently to the thing 24-7!)
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To: msnimje

Somewhere, some Mexican official who understands English is reading your reply and laughing his ass off.


11 posted on 09/08/2006 10:10:45 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Going partly violently to the thing 24-7!)
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To: sauropod
Saint Paul the Appalling's son is running for CONgress in the 2nd (or 3rd, I forget which) congressional district.

And remember, since con is the opposite of pro, Congress is the opposite of progress.

12 posted on 09/08/2006 10:11:38 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Going partly violently to the thing 24-7!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Somewhere, some Mexican official who understands English is reading your reply and laughing his ass off.

Probably quite a few US officials as well.
13 posted on 09/08/2006 10:17:51 AM PDT by msnimje (What part of-- "DEATH TO AMERICA" --do the Democrats not understand?)
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To: sauropod

I'm against any multi-generational politicians, especially when they have NEVER done anything else. I did vote for GWB both times. GWB had been successful in other things.

Paul Sarbanes has been a disgrace his whole career. Is there any eveidence that his son wouldn't be exactly the same.


14 posted on 09/08/2006 10:22:27 AM PDT by quikdrw (Life is tough....it's even tougher if you are stupid.)
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To: 1_Inch_Group; 2sheep; 2Trievers; 3AngelaD; 3pools; 3rdcanyon; 4Freedom; 4ourprogeny; 7.62 x 51mm; ..

ping


15 posted on 09/08/2006 10:29:13 AM PDT by gubamyster
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To: bordergal

Great!


16 posted on 09/08/2006 10:33:34 AM PDT by VU4G10 (Have You Forgotten?)
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To: bordergal

bwahahaha!!!


17 posted on 09/08/2006 10:46:06 AM PDT by Frohickey
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To: bordergal
LOL!
Bump
18 posted on 09/08/2006 10:56:57 AM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: bordergal

Good post, bordergal! I suspect our Senators didn't quite think this bill through before they submitted it. LOL!


19 posted on 09/08/2006 11:23:36 AM PDT by wolfcreek (You can spit in our tacos and you can rape our dogs but, you can't take away our freedom!)
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To: bordergal

LOLOL!!!

Great stuff!


20 posted on 09/08/2006 11:25:14 AM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: jan in Colorado

ping


21 posted on 09/08/2006 2:50:58 PM PDT by Gondring (If "Conservatives" now want to "conserve" our Constitution away, then I must be a Preservative!)
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To: bordergal

Excellent, it's a keeper.

I may just mail it as well.


22 posted on 09/08/2006 3:01:13 PM PDT by RJL
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To: bordergal

This has been floating around in one form or another for a few years now. That doesn't mean it isn't good...just that legislators are most likely already familiar with it.


23 posted on 09/08/2006 6:54:28 PM PDT by NewRomeTacitus (Americans First.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; msnimje
I would love it if 12 or 15 million US citizens would march into Mexico at the same time and demand services from the Mexican government.

Times 30 Million "Undocumented" American "Migrants"

24 posted on 09/08/2006 8:35:44 PM PDT by LNewman
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To: LNewman

Yeah, just like that!!


25 posted on 09/08/2006 8:48:50 PM PDT by msnimje (What part of-- "DEATH TO AMERICA" --do the Democrats not understand?)
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To: NewRomeTacitus
Next time our "leaders" take recess they need to do a job exchange thing (better terminology fails at present). Those from the NE get to come home to the SW. Those from the NW get to spend the holidays with "their US family" in the SE. And so on.

I couldn't imagine a group more out of touch with the citizenry.

26 posted on 09/08/2006 8:53:56 PM PDT by LNewman
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To: msnimje
And, of course, we expect OUR president INSIST that our needs, demands and well being be of the utmost importance!

HEY! Know what? Already I'm enjoying my Mexican vacation! ;)

27 posted on 09/08/2006 9:03:43 PM PDT by LNewman
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To: LNewman
On the face it has merit but reality would have the Representatives merely shunted from one coddled and gated community to another. The primary problem we're suffering from is that politics has become the hobby of bored, rich people who never had any sympathy for the people who helped them get to that position to start with.

I try to support conservative "groundlings" locally, but the Machines almost always run them into the ground through the sheer power of money - not their own, mind you, but that of the Republican's always giving our donations to candidates who don't need it.
28 posted on 09/09/2006 12:31:30 AM PDT by NewRomeTacitus (Americans First.)
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To: bordergal

This is really good, thanks.


29 posted on 09/30/2006 8:30:29 PM PDT by Sherri-D (Talk nerdy to me)
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