Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.
Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.
Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]
Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.
In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.
On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)
Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”
Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.
Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .
Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”
But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.
Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?
And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?
Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]
Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”
One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.
So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.
Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.
It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?
It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.
But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.
So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.
Being married to a career woman, and currently being the primary caregiver for two kids, I can identify a lot with what is in the article. I have a small business that I try to run in the in-between times.
There IS more conflict being married to a career woman. Even if you are the primary bread winner during her education (as I was), that tends to be forgotten when the tables turn after her career becomes established. It's sort of a "What have you done for me, lately?" situation. Furthermore, if the woman gets to be THE boss at work and comes home to her Celt-to-the-core spouse after work, who will not knuckle under to intimidation (and is also fairly impervious to physical coercion from experience in the bar and racetrack pit wars of his misspent youth), there is going to be even MORE coflict.....but I digress......
Dudes, be careful what you wish and work for. You might just get it!
Very good point.
LOL..Kinda thought that would be the answer....
Teeny has perfected ignoring me by now. ;o)
Put Another Log on the Fire
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.
Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cos I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.
So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/outlaws-the/put-another-log-on-the-fire---tompall-glaser-2736.html
Artist/Band: Outlaws, The
Lyrics for Song: Put Another Log on the Fire - Tompall Glaser
Lyrics for Album: Wanted!
< |:)~
Just do what you want to do.....what a caller to Rush does.....go to Cherryblossoms.com....
Relationships between men and women have been distorted for some time, and the economic system has changed as well.
So, you have the queen bitches who want to make it to the top so they can lay down the law and make their husbands lie down, roll over, and beg, and you have the women who haven't been able to find a decent family man to marry and ended up having to work, like it or not. Our economy and our divorce laws and our cultural assumptions now pretty much demand that a lot of women have to work, like it or not.
In other words, there are exceptions to any rule.
As opposed to what...a needy, clingy wife who has no interests other than you?
Sounds like you will be needing an attorney - eventually.
"Get back to the kitchen and cook me dinner, woman."
- Amen! Back in the good ole days
Yep, see my post #34 on this thread:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts
"Get me a beer woman, and don't block the TV."
"But after I cook your dinner can I have 500.00 to buy a new winter coat and boots to match?"
"No".
Feel like getting frisky tonight dear?
No
"Marrying a career woman is just plain stupid, unless you are one of those rare male golddiggers."
John Kerry, haha
Any man that would kill a spider is a hero in my book!!
Here's my tip, find a woman, not for her hot body, but who has a strong character, and one whose mom respects and admires her dad. Then she'll have had a good role model. You want a woman, look at her mother. (under normal circumstances.) Women, look at his dad.
I've noticed young ladies who have been homeschooled often want to put a family above any career.
Lol! I haven't seen that one in a while; it's a classic.
Yes, well, I bet she isn't the only one. =]
Any wonder that liberal American women are lamenting the fact that liberal American men want no commitment? Women get married to feed their need for emotional, and sometimes financial desires. I can see liberal men saying, "What's in it for me? Fidelity? Respect? Nope." More and more American women are spoiled and unfeminine. If I were in the search mode, I may look offshore for a wife.
It seems most men today want their wives to work and earn money - the more they earn, the better - and they want the kids in daycare. So, I guess they are shocked by this column.
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