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Parody Kerry's "misinterpreted" insult
N/A | November 2, 2006 | Self (vanity)

Posted on 11/02/2006 11:40:50 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Kerry's "misunderstood" insult demands parody.

"Red Badger" started things off with this zinger:

"If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll get stuck in a FEMA trailer............"

When I read that, I realized that Kerry gave us a setup line for a whole new genre of jokes.

The challenge is complete the sentence: "Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck ...." Here was my contribution:

"... in a ditch with Cindy."

"Redbadger" improved on that one thus:

" ... in a ditch with a B__CH!"

Other contributions so far include:

"...you end up defending insulting elitist snobs!"

"...in the U.S. Senate, getting a contact high from Ted Kennedy."

"...on a roof in New Orleans."

" ...in a CHORUS LINE."

" ... writing editorials for the Seattle P-I for the rest of your life!"

Over to you FReepers -- the possibilities seem endless.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: benedictarnold; humor; insult; kerry; kerrydumbiraqgaffe; lies; stuck; stuckiniraq; stuckinjoke
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This is my first vanity posting -- please be gentle.
1 posted on 11/02/2006 11:40:51 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: MikeHu; RichInOC; rawcatslyentist; Red Badger; Fiddlstix; <1/1,000,000th%; jokar; polymuser

Ping


2 posted on 11/02/2006 11:41:08 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

In a van down by the river!


3 posted on 11/02/2006 11:42:11 AM PST by winodog
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

...as a Democrat.


4 posted on 11/02/2006 11:42:48 AM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Kerry didn't botch the joke - he is the joke.


5 posted on 11/02/2006 11:42:52 AM PST by hometoroost (TSA = Thousands Standing Around)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

I still like "...on stupid."


6 posted on 11/02/2006 11:43:23 AM PST by CougarGA7 (The Democrat Party is just a "botched joke".)
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To: winodog

Good one. It's one of my favorites.


7 posted on 11/02/2006 11:43:51 AM PST by half-cajun
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

defending the indefensible.


8 posted on 11/02/2006 11:43:53 AM PST by widowithfoursons
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
Well, to kind of imitate Rodney Dangerfield -

Kerry to college students: "Work hard and study, and you'll be like me."

Students: "Aw, do we have to?"

9 posted on 11/02/2006 11:44:04 AM PST by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: hometoroost

Agreed -- here's where we show him some of the many ways that's true.


10 posted on 11/02/2006 11:44:54 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll get stuck married to some rich widow.


11 posted on 11/02/2006 11:45:28 AM PST by magslinger (When Law enforcement enforce idiotic Laws of Bad Politicians there are no good guys.-Phantom Patriot)
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To: magslinger

If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll botch a joke, killing your party's election chances.


12 posted on 11/02/2006 11:46:25 AM PST by dfwgator
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

LIKE ME.
UNAWARE OF WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON AND REDUCED TO CRITICIZING PEOPLE WHO ARE REALLY DOING SOMETHING.


13 posted on 11/02/2006 11:46:25 AM PST by smoketree (the insanity, the lunacy these days)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

"... underwater in an Oldsmobile owned by Teddy Kennedy."


14 posted on 11/02/2006 11:46:29 AM PST by Spktyr (Overwhelmingly superior firepower and the willingness to use it is the only proven peace solution.)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck on this wonderful thing we Dems like to call public assistance. It ain't so bad, and it keeps us in office. Who wants free money!


15 posted on 11/02/2006 11:47:20 AM PST by Sax
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To: Spktyr

Ouch! (ROTFLMAO)


16 posted on 11/02/2006 11:47:38 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

John Kerry: "If you can graduate with a 'Gentleman's C' average, marry a rich heiress and then a rich widow, and not say anything too revoltingly nasty about our dumbass troops, you can do well. Ooops, I've stepped in it again!"


17 posted on 11/02/2006 11:48:10 AM PST by Enchante (There are 3 kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and the Drive-By Media)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

..with your finger in a dike.


18 posted on 11/02/2006 11:48:40 AM PST by Sax
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To: dfwgator

If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll get hoist by your own petard. (Referring to both of ours.)


19 posted on 11/02/2006 11:48:44 AM PST by magslinger (When Law enforcement enforce idiotic Laws of Bad Politicians there are no good guys.-Phantom Patriot)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck


as a pudgy Washington intern."


20 posted on 11/02/2006 11:48:57 AM PST by WakeUpAndVote (Got towel?)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Kerry says he was "misunderinterpreted."


21 posted on 11/02/2006 11:48:59 AM PST by pabianice
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To: pabianice

He botched the "joke"; but he didn't inhale it.


22 posted on 11/02/2006 11:50:44 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck with this"


23 posted on 11/02/2006 11:52:49 AM PST by WakeUpAndVote (Got towel?)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

" with a Band of Gigalos."


24 posted on 11/02/2006 11:53:16 AM PST by Solamente (Let all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out...)
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To: WakeUpAndVote

Did you mean "as" or "in"?


25 posted on 11/02/2006 11:53:28 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: WakeUpAndVote

Dude...that is one scary pic...I don't know who is worse, her or Bela Pelosi...


26 posted on 11/02/2006 11:54:47 AM PST by TampaDude (If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the PROBLEM!!!)
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To: Sax

LOL!! Good one!


27 posted on 11/02/2006 11:55:00 AM PST by fishergirl (Choose your vices carefully, then be loyal to them.)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
Hmmm, I guess that would depend on your definition of ...........
28 posted on 11/02/2006 11:56:09 AM PST by WakeUpAndVote (Got towel?)
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To: WakeUpAndVote

LOL!


29 posted on 11/02/2006 11:56:32 AM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

"...in a thread at the DU!"


30 posted on 11/02/2006 11:57:24 AM PST by Rane _H
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To: winodog
Awesome response! You, too, can be Matt Foley if you don't work or study hard:


31 posted on 11/02/2006 11:59:32 AM PST by RedCell ("...thou shalt kill thine enemy before he killeth you by any means available" - Dick Marcinko)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck ....

...not knowing what the meaning of "is" is.


32 posted on 11/02/2006 12:00:09 PM PST by Rainbow Rising (Never send a monster to do the work of an evil scientist.)
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To: Sax

"..with your finger in a dike."

Don't you mean dyke?


33 posted on 11/02/2006 12:04:16 PM PST by fredhead (What this world needs is a few more rednecks - Charlie Daniels)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA; ConservaTexan
If you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't you get stuck driving a bus and hoping the union can save your job after you flipped off the President.

-ConservaTexan

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1730904/posts?page=9#9
34 posted on 11/02/2006 12:05:20 PM PST by absolootezer0 ("My God, why have you forsaken us.. no wait, its the liberals that have forsaken you... my bad")
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

"...you'll get stuck on a swift boat in Vietnam."


35 posted on 11/02/2006 12:09:19 PM PST by opinionator
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To: fredhead

you said it, not me!


36 posted on 11/02/2006 12:09:23 PM PST by Sax
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

Once was there was a senator that said
Any old thing that came to his head
He never had to work
Studying was for jerks
Now he’s stuck with a rich old bag in his bed


37 posted on 11/02/2006 12:10:35 PM PST by dblshot
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

...working for a living.


38 posted on 11/02/2006 12:16:07 PM PST by chit*chat
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
An absolutely genuine, Mary Mapes vouched for, historical document.


39 posted on 11/02/2006 12:17:07 PM PST by LexBaird (98% satisfaction guaranteed. There's just no pleasing some people.)
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To: winodog
My favorite:

you get stuck In a van down by the river!

LOL very funny.

40 posted on 11/02/2006 12:22:18 PM PST by Coffee_drinker (The best defense is a strong preemptive strike..)
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

...you'll end up being a joke, like me (Kerry).

(P.S. Great first vanity post, and the responses are hilarious!)


42 posted on 11/02/2006 12:30:07 PM PST by Theresawithanh (Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.)
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To: fredhead
"..with your finger in a dike."

Don't you mean dyke?

Ouch.

43 posted on 11/02/2006 12:32:44 PM PST by Disambiguator (If the Democrats were a stock, I would short them.)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
...you'll get stuck in Chappaquiddick.
44 posted on 11/02/2006 12:33:13 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Sax

..Or with your finger stuck up your a__.


45 posted on 11/02/2006 12:51:31 PM PST by pankot
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To: Disambiguator

"..with your finger in a dike."

Wow, now we've got three versions, a levee, diagonal cut pliers, and a lickalotpus.


46 posted on 11/02/2006 12:57:34 PM PST by Sax
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To: Disambiguator

Nice choice of tool. My knipex's kick butt! :)


47 posted on 11/02/2006 1:00:49 PM PST by Rane _H
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA

"...as a Dixie Chick."


48 posted on 11/02/2006 1:06:37 PM PST by Rocko ("Kin ah git me a huntin' license here?" -- Sen. John Kerry, the country man.)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
We still have people like this song below, not like jon carry!

Johnny Freedom lyrics

JOHNNY FREEDOM

When our country was a baby and the Redcoats had their way
Is was he who had a party tossin’ tea in Boston Bay
It was he who braved the winter in the days of Valley Forge
Fightin’side by side together with a fella name of George

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our boy

When our country started growin’ and the wagons headed West
When our country called for pioneers his name led all the rest
What a figure in his raw hide coat and hat made of raccoon
Wonder what there was about him made you think of Dan’l Boone

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our boy

If we need a mess of thinkin’ he’s the Lincoln of the day
If we’re fixin’ fer a tussle it’s his muscle all the way
If we need a handsome fella so the ladies hearts can throb
There’s a Yankee Doodle Dandy always handy for the job

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our, that’s our, that’s our boy
49 posted on 11/02/2006 1:08:32 PM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ("Remember the Alamo, Goliad and WACO, It is Time for a new San Jacinto")
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To: Theresawithanh

Thank you & I'm enjoying the responses too.


50 posted on 11/02/2006 1:11:31 PM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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