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Thanksgiving Advice
Ace of Spades ^ | November 18, 2006 | Laura W.

Posted on 11/18/2006 9:07:47 PM PST by george76

*Storebought pies are of the debbil. Don't do that. Pies are ridiculously easy to make, and the house smells so good when they're baking.

*If you have a full house and need to set up a separate table for the kiddies, try to orient it so that you can reach the back of the worst kid's head with a spatula. That way you won't have to get up during the meal.

*Put a long-handled spatula next to your plate.

*Give the turkey enough time to thaw. Your relatives don't want to see you desperately shoving a blowtorch inside Mr. Turkey on Thursday morning.

*If you can manage it, cooking the turkey breast-side down for much of the cooking time does help keep the breast meat moist.

*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.

*If their mother objects, put her in there too. She'll come back without them in three minutes. She'll keep her yap shut for the rest of the meal as a bonus.

*If livingroom seating is inadequate, throw something soft on the floor that the kids can lounge on during the football game, while the adults are sleeping.

I'm sure all you guys have other great ideas and helpful hints.

(Excerpt) Read more at ace.mu.nu ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: thanksgiving; thanksgivingadvice
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To: monkapotamus

She really looks happy with that big well stuffed bird.


21 posted on 11/18/2006 9:25:18 PM PST by BulletBobCo
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To: monkapotamus

Definitely don't want to arm wrestle her, that thing is huge.


22 posted on 11/18/2006 9:27:18 PM PST by discostu (we're two of a kind, silence and I)
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To: george76
[ Thanksgiving Advice ]

Get off alone "give thanks" frequently to adjust you're attitude..

23 posted on 11/18/2006 9:28:34 PM PST by hosepipe (CAUTION: This propaganda is laced with hyperbole)
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To: george76

Don't forget to remove the giblets from the turkey before roasting...(learned that one early on - the hard way). Will not soon forget mother-in-law exclaiming "What..you forgot to take out the giblets??!!*$"


24 posted on 11/18/2006 9:30:29 PM PST by Mjaye
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To: george76

More advice:

Throwing a turkey in the clothes dryer for emergency thawing does not work. (I didn't do this, but someone else did)

"Burnt" is not a flavor.

If you cooked the meal, and someone complains, resist the urge to drown them in the gravy bowl.


25 posted on 11/18/2006 9:30:59 PM PST by hoagy62 (Happily watching the Left go full-goose bozo.)
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To: george76
[ Thanksgiving Advice ]

Instead of Pecan Pie use WALNUTS... Walnut Pie..
Made the same but it will be talked about until you leave this human experience..

No kidding.. you will thank (( ME ))....

26 posted on 11/18/2006 9:35:26 PM PST by hosepipe (CAUTION: This propaganda is laced with hyperbole)
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To: Mjaye

See my post 13. I knew that giblets were in one end, but didn't realize they were in the other.


27 posted on 11/18/2006 9:36:32 PM PST by I still care ("Remember... for it is the doom of men that they forget" - Merlin, from Excalibur)
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To: I still care

See my post 13. I knew that giblets were in one end, but didn't realize they were in the other.<<<<<<<<<<<

Exactly!! Who knew??? I found the neck, but who would have thought they'd stuff a bag in the other end full of weird bird parts. I never made that mistake again...



28 posted on 11/18/2006 9:42:29 PM PST by Mjaye
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To: Mjaye

Make sure there are enough giblets to make the dressing. We buy a extra package just in case. We have gotten 2 free turkeys from Foster Farms because of skimpy giblets...


29 posted on 11/18/2006 9:43:39 PM PST by tubebender (Growing old is mandatory...Growing up is optional)
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To: Andy'smom; bradactor; politicalwit; Spunky; mplsconservative; don-o; boadecelia; freeangel; ...

**Freeper Kitchen Ping**


30 posted on 11/18/2006 9:48:14 PM PST by HungarianGypsy
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To: tubebender

I didn't know one could acquire extra giblets! Useful info, thanks!!


31 posted on 11/18/2006 9:51:53 PM PST by Mjaye
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To: hosepipe
Instead of Pecan Pie use WALNUTS... Walnut Pie..
Made the same but it will be talked about until you leave this human experience.."



I must disagree most strenuously!
And make your pecan pies from scratch. The recipe is on the back of the Karo syrup bottle. Only and 3/4's cup sugar though. TRUST ME!
32 posted on 11/18/2006 9:55:19 PM PST by JRochelle (Duncan Hunter 2008!)
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To: george76



See post 23 for your answer.

:-)


33 posted on 11/18/2006 9:56:32 PM PST by JRochelle (Duncan Hunter 2008!)
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To: monkapotamus

Not enough whipped cream. You can still see the pie....


34 posted on 11/18/2006 9:58:51 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: I still care
Unstuff BOTH sides of the turkey. Personal experience.

Me, too.

35 posted on 11/18/2006 10:00:52 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: george76

" I have a question not a suggestion: What should you do when you discover that your female cousin whom you haven't since seen she was ten is now 18 years old and all grown up and really, really hot and you're alone with her in the bedroom where everyone has thrown their coats and she's bending over the bed to get something from her coat and you're standing directly behind her? "

I would say, "That reminds me. I forgot to have some pie."


36 posted on 11/18/2006 10:06:13 PM PST by Kirkwood
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To: george76

NO! NO!


37 posted on 11/18/2006 10:07:54 PM PST by right way right
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To: george76
" What if you are the weird red-haired cousin?"

Bring some of the pie with you.



I'll let HIM know.
38 posted on 11/18/2006 10:11:34 PM PST by ThomasThomas (......)
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To: george76

Remember to actually turn the oven on. Otherswis, dinner will be VERY delayed.


39 posted on 11/19/2006 4:27:37 AM PST by freeangel ( (free speech is only good until someone else doesn't like what you say))
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To: george76

At the table keep lefty liberal aunt Rebecca away from staunch conservative Uncle Bert.


40 posted on 11/19/2006 4:32:36 AM PST by beyond the sea ( Now that Pelosi Galore is in charge, it's never too late or early to start drinking.)
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