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John Kerry: Dead But Too Dumb To Lie Down
MND ^ | December 02, 2006 | Doug Powers

Posted on 12/03/2006 3:35:19 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy

Recently, I was re-reading one of P.J. O’Rourke’s books, and this happened to be while John Kerry was on Larry King Live. As Kerry was trying to dig his way out of a hole with such vigor that he was about to reach China, I ran across the chapter title, “Commies: Dead but too dumb to lie down.”

I looked up at John Francois Kerry, and it was as if the gods of fortuitous timing were with me that evening. The chapter title, most of it anyway, was the perfect description of what has become of John Kerry’s presidential aspirations.

The next election is a little less than two years away, and I have no idea who the nominees will be. I do know who they won’t be, though. One thing is certain: John Kerry will not be among the finalists for the Democrat nomination.

Kerry is still assessing the impact of his “botched joke” on his ‘08 prospects, as he was doing that night on the Larry King show. This is like Michael Richards assessing the impact of his botched rant on his chances to be president of the NAACP – It wasn’t going to happen anyway. Sorry, John.

Years ago, it all seemed so promising for Kerry, and then…

In 2004, Kerry came back from a distant third to win in Iowa, he had the best hair of any other Democrat seeking the nomination, and, most importantly, among core party voters, he had the only thing that they were looking for in a candidate: he wasn’t Bush.

According to polls before either party’s convention, the race between Kerry and Bush was a dead heat. This was the time for Kerry to make his move. Speculation swirled around who would be Kerry’s choice for a running mate. Would it be Hillary Clinton? Dick Gephardt? Would John McCain cross over? Kerry decided to add some youthful integrity to the ticket, figuring that nobody exudes this quality to Americans like a senator and attorney, if you’ll pardon the redundancy. A fellow wealthy liberal lawyer from an Eastern Seaboard state with a meticulously cared-for coif, Kerry’s choice of John Edwards as his running-mate was like adding salt to caviar.

The Dems convention in 2004 was another problem. Their week in Beantown was like a USO show in reverse, with the entertainers in the crowd, and the troops on the stage. Throw in Edwards reminding the crowd that “Hope is on the way,” and the USO feel was uncanny. Unfortunately, Bob and his trademark golf club didn’t make an appearance, and the constant reminders of what John Kerry did in his early 20’s turned off any voter with the audacity to be curious about anything that has happened since midway through Nixon’s first term.

Things got even worse shortly after the DNC gathering in Boston, when pollsters observed that, after an entire week of speeches and rallies, the biggest convention “bounce” any Democrat enjoyed was at a fundraiser and involved Alyssa Milano and a trampoline.

Just when things seemed to be heading in the wrong direction for Kerry, a hint of potentially good news energized his campaign. Dan Rather and CBS were going to air a report, complete with documentation, that would offer proof positive that George W. Bush received preferential treatment while in the Texas Air National Guard, which allowed Bush to skirt the usual requirements, keeping him out of Vietnam. At last, something for the Kerry campaign that would turn off Bush voters!

By the time it was over, the CBS flap cost Kerry in two key areas: 1) The documents ended up being forgeries, making Bush opponents appear desperate, and 2) In order to push this story forward, they had to admit that Bush was actually in the National Guard.

The loss, the Heinz, the flush, the plunge

Kerry, of course, lost to Bush in ‘04, though I do believe some recounts are still being conducted in dusty corners of out-of-the-way polling places by chad-covered denial-addled liberal activists.

After the loss, Kerry went back to being one of the biggest lefties in the Senate, which you can get away with when you’re from Massachusetts, but it still doesn’t work nationally.

Kerry’s “botched joke” is only the final nail in the coffin of his presidential hopes. There were and are many others, not the least of which is his wife.

Frankly, on the likability scale, Teresa Heinz Kerry managed to rank just below “genital warts.” Preposterous elitist meanderings, such as saying that Laura Bush has “never had a real job“ must have made teachers, librarians and mothers everywhere rejoice to discover they’ve never had to work in their lives. Heinz-Kerry later said she was sorry, but, just like an Ike Turner apology, it’s tough to accept because you know that, tomorrow, another slap is coming. The 2004 election may have been the first to be lost due to a candidate’s wife. At the polls, a few voters might have decided that America needed a “First Lady,” not a “Mommy Dearest.”

Other John Kerry factors, such as accusing US troops of terrorizing women and children in Iraq and any other number of insulting things the Senator has said are sure to keep him from having another shot at the Dems nomination. John Kerry has spent the last couple of years helping Republicans produce dozens of potentially negative and damning ads for ‘08. It’s nice for the other side when a candidate writes ad copy for his opponent.

The saddest thing about John Kerry is that the last person to realize that he has no chance of ever being President of the United States will be John Kerry. If this particular “botched joke” wasn’t so much fun to watch, I’d suggest an intervention.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: anothermasspol; botchedjoke; capitalttraitor; democraticnomination; elitist; frenchcandidate; frenchpoodle; hewasinvietnam; holidayincambodia; iservedinvietnam; jayeffinkay; jeanfrancoischeri; johnfkerry; joncarry; magichat; stuckiniraq; swiftboated; terezaheinz; themagichat

1 posted on 12/03/2006 3:35:25 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Good article, except that it implies that kerry had a chance of winning in '04. He didn't, he never had, and all the cheating by the RATS and the MSM (same thing) couldn't make it happen. meanwhile, kerry still thinks he's a candidate, and dan rather still claims his bogus documents weren't cheap, stupid, forgeries.


2 posted on 12/03/2006 3:40:22 PM PST by ozzymandus
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Kerry, Gore, and Clinton all scrapping for the nomination? Sandy Berger alone tars the group and there's more where that came from.


3 posted on 12/03/2006 3:42:36 PM PST by james500
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

bttt


4 posted on 12/03/2006 3:44:46 PM PST by Christian4Bush (Don't blame me - I didn't vote for these DEM b**tards. (redacted to satiate religioncop TXBlair))
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

5 posted on 12/03/2006 3:46:01 PM PST by Solamente (Let all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out...)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: Nasty McPhilthy

John Kerry-Heinz won't be running unless the misses says so. If he gives her any backtalk, he'll lose the car keys, too. Pitiful sack of crap.


7 posted on 12/03/2006 3:48:21 PM PST by Emmett McCarthy
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
I disagree. Actually, all that commends Jean Francois Cheri to the Democrats. They don't view it as a negative. His main problem is Bush is no longer his opponent in 2008. That why we won't see an Adlai Stevenson rerun.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." -Manuel II Paleologus

8 posted on 12/03/2006 3:51:15 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

And then there were the Swift Boat Vets who put the lie to his attempt to play as the libs' answer to the national security issue... that was all so fun. sigh.


9 posted on 12/03/2006 3:51:47 PM PST by Mercat (a large tub of bullfrogs without proper invoices.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

10 posted on 12/03/2006 3:52:00 PM PST by xcamel (Press to Test, Release to Detonate)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
"After the loss, Kerry went back to being one of the biggest lefties in the Senate, which you can get away with when you’re from Massachusetts, but it still doesn’t work nationally.

Kerry is a loser!

Nancee

11 posted on 12/03/2006 3:54:54 PM PST by Nancee
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

He's a zombie.


12 posted on 12/03/2006 3:58:47 PM PST by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
He still has all the personality of a dead horse as well as the gift of being able to stick his foot in his mouth on inopportune occasions. Its uncanny the French Poodle is so accident prone.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." -Manuel II Paleologus

13 posted on 12/03/2006 3:58:49 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Did you know John Kerry served in Vietnam?


14 posted on 12/03/2006 4:04:30 PM PST by Checkers ("...(play) outside in the sun all day...or...sit at your computer and do something that matters.")
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To: Checkers
Most politicians have a record. John Carry's only claim to fame is being a Vet Stuck In Vietnam.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." -Manuel II Paleologus

15 posted on 12/03/2006 4:08:01 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Checkers
And don't forget he windsurfs in flowered spandex and shops for an athletic supporter with his daughter along.

The man is beyond hopelessly STUPID.

16 posted on 12/03/2006 4:11:26 PM PST by OldFriend (FALLEN HERO JEFFREY TOCZYLOWSKI, REST IN PEACE)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) has all the personality of a stump, and most the brains of one as well...

The only people more boring than John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) are those "enlightened" folks that actually vote for this walking sleeping pill....

17 posted on 12/03/2006 4:13:28 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head up my a$$....)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

"Frankly, on the likability scale, Teresa Heinz Kerry managed to rank just below “genital warts.” "

That would make a great tagline!


18 posted on 12/03/2006 4:14:42 PM PST by Beagle8U (Charlie Rangel is teaching the "True Conservatives" a lesson......( there really is a difference))
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Heinz-Kerry later said she was sorry, but, just like an Ike Turner apology, it’s tough to accept because you know that, tomorrow, another slap is coming.

Great line.

The 2004 election may have been the first to be lost due to a candidate’s wife.

No, I'm sure Jon Carry lost it all by himself, but that voters who did factor her into the mix recognized the negative impact, the drain, that woman would have had on kerry's life and therefore presidency, and America's international dealings.

19 posted on 12/03/2006 4:19:00 PM PST by GretchenM (What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Please meet my friend, Jesus)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

There is some funny stuff here. I liked these:

The loss, the Heinz, the flush, the plunge

Kerry’s “botched joke” is only the final nail in the coffin of his presidential hopes. There were and are many others, not the least of which is his wife.

Frankly, on the likability scale, Teresa Heinz Kerry managed to rank just below “genital warts.”

The 2004 election may have been the first to be lost due to a candidate’s wife. At the polls, a few voters might have decided that America needed a “First Lady,” not a “Mommy Dearest.”

Hilarious. I like this writer.


20 posted on 12/03/2006 4:23:52 PM PST by alarm rider (Not a democrat, not a republican, not a "libertarian".. A CONSERVATIVE.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Mass Congresscritter Marty Meehan is licking his chops at getting a Senate seat - the only question is whether Kennedy dies first from some kind of massive health problem or Kerry just becomes unelectable.


21 posted on 12/03/2006 4:29:41 PM PST by NewHampshireDuo
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
...but, just like an Ike Turner apology, it’s tough to accept because you know that, tomorrow, another slap is coming.

Oooh, ouch, that hurt!

22 posted on 12/03/2006 4:34:06 PM PST by pray4liberty (School District horrors: http://totallyunjust.tripod.com)
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To: All

A minor technical correction. George Bush was in the Texas Air National Guard. This is like a farm team for the US Air Force. The National Guard is tied in with the Army. The USNR, US Naval Reserve, which Kerry was commissioned in, is like a farm team for the USN.

At the time when I was subject to the draft and subsequently enlisted in the Navy, it was nearly impossible to enlist in the USNR, the same as it was nearly impossible to enlist in the National Guard. The TANG was a different story. I do not know the level of difficulty for taking a commission in the USNR.

The point is that Bush and Kerry were reservists. Kerry was obligated for two years active duty as part of his contract. He got an early out. Bush did approximately the same amount of time training for TANG.

You folks are doing a great job exposing the left wing and the drive by media. As an ex-sailor, I thank you for your service to our country.


23 posted on 12/03/2006 4:41:46 PM PST by puslinger
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To: NewHampshireDuo
...the only question is whether Kennedy dies first from some kind of massive health problem or Kerry just becomes unelectable.

Kennedy will never die, he's too well "preserved".

As far as Kerry becoming "unelectable", I don't think that is possible with the electorate of Massachusetts...I mean, they have elected and repeatedly reelected these two mental midgets for years....

24 posted on 12/03/2006 4:46:21 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head up my a$$....)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Politics sometimes doesn't make a lot of sense, especially in Massachusetts. You wouldn't figure a feller who drowned a young woman in his car in a drunken stupor would be able to achieve the status of Senator For Life, would you?


25 posted on 12/03/2006 4:49:14 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: dirtbiker
John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) has all the personality of a stump, and most the brains of one as well...

That's a huge insult to stumps everywhere.

26 posted on 12/03/2006 4:50:15 PM PST by Veggie Todd (Were those magic grits?)
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub; MoJo2001
Heinz-Kerry later said she was sorry, but, just like an Ike Turner apology, it’s tough to accept because you know that, tomorrow, another slap is coming.

Whoa, BRUTAL!!! I love it!

I rate this article Tonk-safe and think it will actually speed his recovery.

27 posted on 12/03/2006 5:11:20 PM PST by NonValueAdded (Prayers for our patriot brother, 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub. Brian, we're all pulling for you!)
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To: Veggie Todd

Kerry is the new definition of "Stump-Broke".


28 posted on 12/03/2006 5:12:17 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy (Those who beat their swords into plow shears….will plow for those who don’t.)
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To: NewHampshireDuo
...the only question is whether Kennedy dies first from some kind of massive health problem or Kerry just becomes unelectable.

In Massachusettes, Kerry will become unelectable six weeks after he's assumed room temperature. Even then, some voters will waver...

29 posted on 12/03/2006 5:12:21 PM PST by COBOL2Java ("No stronger retrograde force exists in the world" - Winston Churchill on Islam)
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To: Checkers
Did you know John Kerry served in Vietnam?

Yes, it's burned...BURNED in my memory!

30 posted on 12/03/2006 5:17:13 PM PST by nopendejos
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Teresa Heinz Kerry managed to rank just below “genital warts.”

Was she having sex with Kermit?

31 posted on 12/03/2006 5:33:23 PM PST by Cobra64 (Why is the War on Terror being managed by the DEFENSE Department?)
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To: Beagle8U

Just fill in a democrat woman's name. The Beast comes to mind.


32 posted on 12/03/2006 5:38:18 PM PST by Cobra64 (Why is the War on Terror being managed by the DEFENSE Department?)
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To: Veggie Todd
That's a huge insult to stumps everywhere.

I know, but it was either the stumps or the fenceposts, and I have more respect for fenceposts....

33 posted on 12/03/2006 5:40:16 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head up my a$$....)
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To: Checkers
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
34 posted on 12/03/2006 5:41:28 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy (Those who beat their swords into plow shears….will plow for those who don’t.)
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To: dirtbiker
As far as Kerry becoming "unelectable", I don't think that is possible with the electorate of Massachusetts...I mean, they have elected and repeatedly reelected these two mental midgets for years....

These guys?


35 posted on 12/03/2006 5:46:30 PM PST by Cobra64 (Why is the War on Terror being managed by the DEFENSE Department?)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
was like adding salt to caviar.

Just one of several LOL salty comments! Thanks, I needed that.

36 posted on 12/03/2006 5:46:46 PM PST by mombonn (God is looking for spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
“Commies: Dead but too dumb to lie down.”

Think PJ got that wrong

They are alive and well in the US of A
37 posted on 12/03/2006 5:48:24 PM PST by uncbob
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Kerry lost the election all by himself with his arrogance.

Just a few of the highlights:

-- Kerry poses in paper suit at NASA. After realizing pictures make him look silly, he decides not to chuckle over it with the rest of the country until the unintended comedy dies down after a day or two, but instead falsely accuses NASA of conspiring to take unflattering pictures and put them on their official website without his knowledge or permission. Instead of looking a little silly for a few days, Kerry makes himself into a liar who blames others for his misfortune.

--- Kerry dresses in camo and walks into a store and asks the cashier, "Ken I git me a hunting license here?" He then spends next few weeks trying to appeal to us boobs in middle America by acting just like us; crawling around in the mud with a rifle searching for ducks to shoot by day and going to church preaching from the Bible and telling us all about Jesus' example by night.

-- Kerry goes snowboarding and falls down six times. One of those times was when he overtook and collided with a secret service agent there to guard his life, after which he yelled at the agent and called him a "son of a bitch". When asked about the incident Kerry explained that he was run over and that he never falls down.
38 posted on 12/03/2006 5:48:25 PM PST by spinestein (There is no pile of pennies so large that I won't throw two more on top.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Frankly, on the likability scale, Teresa Heinz Kerry managed to rank just below “genital warts.” Preposterous elitist meanderings, such as saying that Laura Bush has “never had a real job“ must have made teachers, librarians and mothers everywhere rejoice to discover they’ve never had to work in their lives. Heinz-Kerry later said she was sorry, but, just like an Ike Turner apology, it’s tough to accept because you know that, tomorrow, another slap is coming.

LOL

39 posted on 12/03/2006 5:48:53 PM PST by GOPJ (Male homosexuality is more dangerous than white bread, transfats, being overweight and SUV's togethe)
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To: goldstategop
He still has all the personality of a dead horse as well as the gift of being able to stick his foot in his mouth on inopportune occasions. Its uncanny the French Poodle is so accident prone.

And if it wasn't for the Swift Boat Vets he would be president
40 posted on 12/03/2006 5:50:12 PM PST by uncbob
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To: spinestein
You make it sound like the public was aware of all that you posted

They weren't and Kerry was ONE state away from being president while running against an incumbent with a booming economy and a war going on

He should have been landslided into the dust heap of history

But he wasn't
41 posted on 12/03/2006 5:55:20 PM PST by uncbob
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To: OldFriend

Don't forget that John Kerry is also a world-class pheasant hunter.

(I wonder if he has fired a gun since that photo opp...Errr!...hunting excursion?)


42 posted on 12/03/2006 7:18:40 PM PST by adm5
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To: uncbob
[Kerry was ONE state away from being president while running against an incumbent with a booming economy and a war going on]


As I said, Kerry lost the election all by himself. He may have been running against a good economy, but President Bush did not have his base fired up, considering his propensity for being too close to the Democratics* on such issues as education, immigration, size and cost of government, entitlements and so on. The only thing he had going for him other than the economy was tax cuts and WOT. Add to that the pro-Democratic* bias of Big Media

The fact that Kerry's own supporters were using the phrase "JUST HOLD YOUR NOSE AND VOTE FOR KERRY" shows just how weak he was. If he were running against a candidate as conservative as, say, Ronald Reagan he would have lost in all 50 states.




*The word 'Democratic' is reserved for the exclusive use of the Democratic Party. All other uses are strictly prohibited unless granted express written consent by The Democratic Party
43 posted on 12/03/2006 7:37:53 PM PST by spinestein (There is no pile of pennies so large that I won't throw two more on top.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Dude, a Kerry/Goron ticket could be our only hope of stopping the Hitlery/Osama monster!


44 posted on 12/03/2006 7:40:22 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Who invented rock and roll hiccups?)
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To: uncbob
It was only the Dan Rather outrage that stopped the momentum against the President.

The media continues their treachery as we can see from the mid terms.

Unless they are stopped there is no hope for America.

The media blamed Bush for the gas price increases and blamed him for manipulating the prices downward. Not much different than the phony hysteria over the flu vaccine before the 2004 election. A manufactured scandal.

The media blamed the President for Katrina, Valerie Pflame, and every other situation on earth.

The media wouldn't have minded a Kerry presidency. Only providence saved us.

45 posted on 12/04/2006 4:39:33 AM PST by OldFriend (FALLEN HERO JEFFREY TOCZYLOWSKI, REST IN PEACE)
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To: Revolting cat!

46 posted on 12/04/2006 4:43:18 AM PST by Wolverine (A Concerned Citizen)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
I said much the same thing back in November although not in so many words:

My post
I think Kerry will run again. He's so ignorant he actually thinks people like him.

47 posted on 12/04/2006 6:57:37 AM PST by beaversmom
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