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A GI in Iraq Asks Senator Kerry for Advice...(YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE)
Chronwatch ^ | Friday, December 08, 2006

Posted on 12/08/2006 6:06:13 AM PST by IrishMike

SENATOR JOHN KERRY 304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510

DEAR SENATOR KERRY:

WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.

1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?

3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?

4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?

5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?

6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.

JUST A DUMB G.I.

P.S.--WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?

(Excerpt) Read more at chronwatch.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: 2008; congress; democrats; elections; halp; iraq; iraqstudygroup; iraqsurrendergroup; isg; johnfkerrysucks; johnkerry; joncarry; kerry; military; senate; terrorism; waronterror; wot
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1 posted on 12/08/2006 6:06:16 AM PST by IrishMike
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To: IrishMike

Love it.


2 posted on 12/08/2006 6:07:13 AM PST by gate2wire (Merry Christmas.)
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To: IrishMike

Thanks. I needed the laugh.


3 posted on 12/08/2006 6:08:22 AM PST by NeoCaveman (Rick Santorum in 2008, or 2012 or whenever we get serious about Islamofascism.)
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To: gate2wire

Great post! Bump for later.


4 posted on 12/08/2006 6:09:04 AM PST by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" ? Anonymous)
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To: IrishMike

Kerry's True Bio.


5 posted on 12/08/2006 6:10:29 AM PST by chatham
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To: IrishMike

I wonder which stack of mail this will go in?

When a GI requests a congressman's help, I believe that it necessarily receives special attention.

:-) My love for our soldiers is well-placed.


6 posted on 12/08/2006 6:10:48 AM PST by bannie
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To: pinz-n-needlez; onyx; ohioWfan; Texasforever; BigSkyFreeper; Tamzee; mrs tiggywinkle; Dog; ...

Ping


7 posted on 12/08/2006 6:12:48 AM PST by Mo1 (Thank You Mr & Mrs "I'm gonna teach you a lesson" Voter ... you just screwed us on so many levels)
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To: IrishMike

Just the laugh we need right now! Great great great!


8 posted on 12/08/2006 6:13:02 AM PST by OldFriend (FALLEN HERO JEFFREY TOCZYLOWSKI, REST IN PEACE)
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To: bmwcyle

Ping.


9 posted on 12/08/2006 6:14:52 AM PST by Apple Blossom (...around here, city hall is something of a between meals snack.)
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To: IrishMike

Thank you for the LOL today.


10 posted on 12/08/2006 6:16:20 AM PST by bmwcyle (The snake is loose in the garden and Eve just bit the apple.)
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To: IrishMike
ROFL!

I support those who are not as smart as Jon Carry!!!

11 posted on 12/08/2006 6:17:56 AM PST by Velveeta
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To: IrishMike

Maybe we should all move en masse to Massachusetts to assist in denying Kerry another term in the Senate. Kennedy's challenger this year received 30% of the vote.


12 posted on 12/08/2006 6:20:58 AM PST by Eagle of Liberty (Sorry soldiers.....your country let you down on November 7.)
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To: rlmorel

ping


13 posted on 12/08/2006 6:23:19 AM PST by Veeram (why the does the left HATE America ?)
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To: IrishMike

Priceless!


14 posted on 12/08/2006 6:24:14 AM PST by proud2beconservativeinNJ ("In God We Trust")
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To: Kerretarded

jfffffffffnnnnnk, is toast. Even he is not dumb or arrogant enough to think that he could win in 08. Teresa will not fund him and his closest pals don't want him to run. He will become another kennedy, a lifetime senator from the USSM. Taxachewsits harbors and supports murderers and traitors as senators and like US Supreme Court justices, gives them lifetime appointments.


15 posted on 12/08/2006 6:28:14 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages - In Honor of Standing Wolf)
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To: IrishMike

Thanx 4 the AM Laff!


16 posted on 12/08/2006 6:28:57 AM PST by litehaus (A memory tooooo long)
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To: IrishMike
There is nothing better than a GI's sarcasm towards politicians. ROTFLMAO !
17 posted on 12/08/2006 6:29:23 AM PST by geezerwheezer (get up boys, we're burnin' daylight!!!)
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To: Mo1

This is a riot! Thanks for the ping, Mo1; it started off my day with a smile.


18 posted on 12/08/2006 6:30:46 AM PST by Peach (The Clintons pardoned more terrorists than they captured or killed.)
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To: USS Alaska

I am saying, get him out as Senator.


19 posted on 12/08/2006 6:39:29 AM PST by Eagle of Liberty (Sorry soldiers.....your country let you down on November 7.)
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To: IrishMike

Ha!


20 posted on 12/08/2006 6:40:34 AM PST by ghostrider
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To: IrishMike
WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

In kerry's case, my guess would be in the void between the ears.

21 posted on 12/08/2006 6:41:23 AM PST by Malone LaVeigh
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To: IrishMike

LMAO!!


22 posted on 12/08/2006 6:42:06 AM PST by DCPatriot ("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon)
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To: IrishMike
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US

That's why they called it 'Swift boat' duty?

23 posted on 12/08/2006 6:42:08 AM PST by layman (Card Carrying Infidel)
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To: layman

That's why they called it 'Swift boat' duty?
.
.
.

A lot of guys are on their 3rd tour of duty in Iraq,
the Frenchman was out of Vietnam in 3 months.
If he left by boat or plane,
it was definately SWIFT !!!!!


24 posted on 12/08/2006 6:48:03 AM PST by IrishMike (Democrats .... Stuck on Stupid, RINO's ...the most vicious judas goats)
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To: IrishMike
I just emailed this to a buddy who was in the Navy (USS Midway).

I don't send too much I find, this was a must :-)

25 posted on 12/08/2006 6:49:17 AM PST by Condor51 (Tagline Under Construction - Kindly Wear Your Hardhat)
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To: IrishMike

To paraphrase Clint,"You made my day"."


26 posted on 12/08/2006 6:50:03 AM PST by Don Corleone (Leave the gun..take the cannoli)
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To: IrishMike

LOL....... good one


27 posted on 12/08/2006 6:51:30 AM PST by Dustbunny (The BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
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To: Letaka

ping


28 posted on 12/08/2006 6:54:29 AM PST by Shimmer128 ( My beloved is mine and I am his. Song of Solomon 2:16)
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To: IrishMike

Awesome!!!


29 posted on 12/08/2006 6:55:15 AM PST by shekkian
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To: Kerretarded
Kennedy's challenger this year received 30% of the vote.

I did not see one single add for Tom Chase on the tube. He ran an almost invisible campaign. I only learned his name from listening to Howie Carr. Kerry will probably get 55% of the vote the same way. Mitt could take him out.

30 posted on 12/08/2006 7:00:47 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (The hallmark of a crackpot conspiracy theory is that it expands to include countervailing evidence.)
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To: IrishMike

Too funny! Leave it to the troops to come up with the truth.


31 posted on 12/08/2006 7:16:07 AM PST by kitkat (The first step down to hell is to deny the existence of evil.)
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To: IrishMike

Bravo Zulu!!!!


32 posted on 12/08/2006 7:38:57 AM PST by stbdside
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To: IrishMike
:-)
33 posted on 12/08/2006 7:45:42 AM PST by Valin (History takes time. It is not an instant thing.)
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To: IrishMike
WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.


34 posted on 12/08/2006 7:45:48 AM PST by Donald Rumsfeld Fan ("Fake but Accurate": NY Times)
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To: Velveeta

I support those who are not as smart as Jon Carry!!!


Not as smart as jon carry? That would be..flatworms, retarded sea urchins, Barbra Boxer. :-)


35 posted on 12/08/2006 7:49:09 AM PST by Valin (History takes time. It is not an instant thing.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Kerry will probably get 55% of the vote the same way. Mitt could take him out.

Now THAT is a possibility. I don't see Mitt getting the GOP Presidential nomination, but taking out Kerry would be hugh and a good move for him.
36 posted on 12/08/2006 7:53:44 AM PST by Eagle of Liberty (Sorry soldiers.....your country let you down on November 7.)
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To: IrishMike

Classic


37 posted on 12/08/2006 8:18:22 AM PST by CPT Clay (Drill ANWR, Personal Accounts NOW.)
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To: IrishMike
My Son's High School just sent Christmas care packages and cards to the troops in Iraq. His card showed a drawing of John Kerry tied to a Heinz ketchup bottle with the message "Don't worry, we have him tied up over here." LOL.

We sent:
Hair/body wash/deodorant soap
Tylenol
Razors
Snacks
SureFire batteries
Storm whistle
Silly string
Peace Through Superior Firepower patch, subdued
Sewing kit
Toys for Iraqi children

38 posted on 12/08/2006 9:18:45 AM PST by Sender ("Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain)
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To: IrishMike
Beautiful. How about:

PS - When are you going to sign those forms like you promised?
39 posted on 12/08/2006 9:20:05 AM PST by AD from SpringBay (We have the government we allow and deserve.)
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To: IrishMike
gotta love these guys!


40 posted on 12/08/2006 9:22:32 AM PST by OldCorps
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To: USS Alaska

Unfortunately, most of those social libtards are moving to New Hampshire and brining their problems with them.

We had a representative-elect already proposing a state income tax but no decline in property taxes.

Is it any coincidence the guy's name was Kennedy and worked as an electrician in MA?


41 posted on 12/08/2006 9:23:01 AM PST by OCCASparky (Steely-Eyed Killer of the Deep)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
did not see one single add for Tom Chase on the tube. He ran an almost invisible campaign. I only learned his name from listening to Howie Carr. Kerry will probably get 55% of the vote the same way. Mitt could take him out.

Maybe, but Mitt's got this crazy idea that he could be president. That'll die a quick and painful death right about the time the NH primary rolls around.
42 posted on 12/08/2006 9:24:58 AM PST by OCCASparky (Steely-Eyed Killer of the Deep)
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To: Veeram; IrishMike

BWAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA! Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for posting this, IrishMike...gonna copy it later!


43 posted on 12/08/2006 9:26:39 AM PST by rlmorel (Islamofacism: It is all fun and games until someone puts an eye out. Or chops off a head.)
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To: IrishMike


"I don't get it."


.

44 posted on 12/08/2006 9:28:32 AM PST by itsamelman (“Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.” -- Al Swearengen)
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To: rlmorel

BWAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA! Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
That's exactly how I felt when I saw it.


45 posted on 12/08/2006 10:02:09 AM PST by IrishMike (Democrats .... Stuck on Stupid, RINO's ...the most vicious judas goats)
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To: AD from SpringBay

Air National Guard ??
.
.
.
Couldn't get down to 165 #lbs by my 42nd (Sept)


46 posted on 12/08/2006 10:04:58 AM PST by IrishMike (Democrats .... Stuck on Stupid, RINO's ...the most vicious judas goats)
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To: IrishMike

LOL... what Kerry needs is a size 12 boondocker driven up his a$$.


47 posted on 12/08/2006 10:12:12 AM PST by johnny7 ("We took a hell of a beating." -'Vinegar Joe' Stilwell)
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To: IrishMike

Ping for later use against stupid people who REFUSE to take off those damn Kerry / Edwards stickers from their cars.


48 posted on 12/08/2006 10:15:47 AM PST by Volunteer (Just so you know, I am ashamed the Dixie Chicks make records in Nashville.)
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To: IrishMike

ROFLMHO!!!


49 posted on 12/08/2006 10:22:31 AM PST by BlessedBeGod (Benedict XVI = Terminator IV)
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To: IrishMike
P.S.--WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?

I hate to tell young Democrats this but Kerry ain't giving that one up. He'll take that secret with him to his grave so voting for him just for that reason was and will be useless.

50 posted on 12/08/2006 10:27:15 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (The man who said "there's no such thing as a stupid question" has never talked to Helen Thomas.)
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