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My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor
Washington Post ^ | 17 December 2006 | Katrina Clark

Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd

...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...

...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.

When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....

...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?

Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: father; liberalagenda; moralabsolutes; search; spermdonor
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A long, revealing autobiography of a person who cannot escape being human and having human desires.
1 posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:27 AM PST by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd
...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.

I have that same problem, although for slightly different reasons......

2 posted on 12/18/2006 5:30:05 AM PST by Red Badger (New! HeadOn Hemorrhoid Medication for Liberals!.........Apply directly to forehead.........)
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To: shrinkermd
Hmmm.

Seems like the Church was right about this practice all along.

3 posted on 12/18/2006 5:30:36 AM PST by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: shrinkermd
A long, revealing autobiography of a person who cannot escape being human and having human desires.

Jodie Foster's kid will have these same feeling when he gets to be an adult........

4 posted on 12/18/2006 5:31:40 AM PST by Red Badger (New! HeadOn Hemorrhoid Medication for Liberals!.........Apply directly to forehead.........)
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To: shrinkermd

Boo-hoo.


5 posted on 12/18/2006 5:32:21 AM PST by newzjunkey (Enjoy your retirement, Rummy.)
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To: shrinkermd
"She sacrificed so much as a single mother, living on food stamps, trying to make ends meet."

Hmmm...

Living off food stamps and then purposely having a child is not something I respect much. Just more of the entitlement class...
6 posted on 12/18/2006 5:40:06 AM PST by DB
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To: shrinkermd
...allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....

don't worry hun there's already several movies made about your situation. Go to Hollywood,tell your story,get financial backing, get some big entertainment mogul interested.....make sure you knock America so you get mass approval and the next thing you know...you'll be rich and on Lettermen. It's easy, ask any Democrat, they'll show you how to do it,as long as your a big time donor, they'll even hold a space for YOUR daughter as a sequel...they do it all the time

sarc off

Doogle

7 posted on 12/18/2006 5:40:58 AM PST by Doogle (USAF 68-73...although it's been said many times many ways Merry Christmas tooooo you)
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To: shrinkermd

I don't know what to say here.

How awful to know that someone jerked off into a jar and now here you are.

It's just...just not right. The whole process serves further to put fathers onto the sidelines and minimize their need.

Thankfully most babies are NOT born this way.


8 posted on 12/18/2006 5:43:06 AM PST by Fishtalk (http://patfish.blogspot.com)
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To: Doogle

..better yet, seek Madonna's advice on where to go to "buy" a kid...see....so easy

Doogle


9 posted on 12/18/2006 5:43:39 AM PST by Doogle (USAF 68-73...although it's been said many times many ways Merry Christmas tooooo you)
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To: shrinkermd
DA DA!!!


10 posted on 12/18/2006 5:45:33 AM PST by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: newzjunkey

I don't know what to make of your comment. The kid's 18. He had no choice in any of this. His mother made a foolish and selfish decision. He got screwed on this thing. I have seen the rootlessness and rudderlessness of people without Dads.


11 posted on 12/18/2006 5:51:05 AM PST by Emmett McCarthy
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To: Registered; shrinkermd
This headline is just screaming to be made into pulp fiction cover. Any takers?

Registered, I've been wondering where you are... Check in sometime, big guy!

Silly

12 posted on 12/18/2006 5:55:23 AM PST by Silly (plasticpie.com, home of Silly humor)
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To: Fishtalk

"It's just...just not right. The whole process serves further to put fathers onto the sidelines and minimize their need."

This fits the DemonRat mold to a tee. The progression (regression) could go something like this:

In order not to offend an extreme minority of people whose Daddy is a jerked-off load-launch from a turkey baster, no one is allowed the 'privilege' to freely associate with thier Daddies. Wouldn't want to offend *ANYONE* now would we?

So we continue with the agenda of homo-promo, pro-abortion, radical feminism, anti-G_d and disintegration of all that was once good about our society.

So long as jerk-offs and turkey basters can replace Daddy, good men need not apply!


13 posted on 12/18/2006 5:55:54 AM PST by RedRightReturn (Even a broken clock is right twice a day...)
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To: shrinkermd

Most young people go through a period of self-discovery, in which they are uniquely miserable in the human condition they didn't ask to be in.
Unless they are too busy working to put food on the table (which gives you a brilliantly clear idea of who you are), the existentialist soliloquy scene is played by all but the very densest humans.
I smell an author in search of a publisher.


14 posted on 12/18/2006 5:56:56 AM PST by Graymatter (before your time)
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To: Emmett McCarthy

Not all children born to using sperm donors are without fathers. Most are born to households with a mother and father. I'd say it takes a big man to go this route.


15 posted on 12/18/2006 5:58:53 AM PST by AmericaUnite
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To: shrinkermd

Yes Ms Katrina Clark- Ms Whiner, has a grudge against something bad about her life.

Flawed Mommy! Bad Daddy! So here she is writing for the Washington Post and probably getting ready to celebrate the happiest time of many of the worlds spiritual faiths.

For the world's Ms Clarks, whether adopted or born from donated tissue - you don't like your life? Get in line.

And meanwhile "get a life". Oh wait, you got a life because of what you call a selfish act by two adults!

Ms Clark, are suggesting you would have preferred to not be born? I suggest you spend more time volunteering at an abortion clinic and get upiut and meet some real victims of selfish acts (like paralyzed, brain dmaged and comatose victims of drunk drivers) and get some perspective on tragedy and meet some brave non whining people who live with wants and needs that will never be fulfilled.


16 posted on 12/18/2006 5:59:54 AM PST by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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To: shrinkermd
When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family --

When she was 32, my mother -- single, and extremely selfish--
17 posted on 12/18/2006 6:09:06 AM PST by Paloma_55 (I may be a hateful bigot, but I still love you)
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To: AmericaUnite

Sure, I realize that. But that was not the case here and the Mom knew it would not be that way. She wanted what she wanted and never considered the consequences for the child.


18 posted on 12/18/2006 6:09:31 AM PST by Emmett McCarthy
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To: Vaquero

But what do you get it for Father's Day?


19 posted on 12/18/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by ItsForTheChildren
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To: ItsForTheChildren

Brass polish.


20 posted on 12/18/2006 6:12:07 AM PST by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: Emmett McCarthy

Sad the author wasn't born to two lesbian mothers as that would have eased her pain and made her life easy by being in a well cared for, loving family.


21 posted on 12/18/2006 6:16:05 AM PST by Rb ver. 2.0
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To: shrinkermd
Could be worse...your mother could have been in a relationship with another woman and you could have been raised in a household hostile to men and thus have really been screwed up.

I knew a woman who was a lesbian and had a baby with her partner "Butch". The child was male and both the mother and her partner were clearly not fond of men either physically or in general. While they were outwardly loving when the child was an infant, I always wondered how they would cope with a male child going through puberty. The kid would now be in his late teens and I wonder how messed up his life is.

22 posted on 12/18/2006 6:19:53 AM PST by The Great RJ ("Mir we bleiwen wat mir sin" or "We want to remain what we are." ..Luxembourg motto)
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To: Paloma_55

"When she was 32, my mother -- single, and extremely selfish--"

My thinking exactly !!!!! If this women had a maternal instinct why didn't she become a loving foster parent? She would have recieved some financial help and given a lost child a home.


23 posted on 12/18/2006 6:19:56 AM PST by Kimmers
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To: Red Badger

once again, the kids suffer for the hedonism of the parents. woman wants a kid, doesn't think about the emotional needs of the kids. they're props, y'know.


24 posted on 12/18/2006 6:20:08 AM PST by camle (keep your mind open and somebody will fill it full of something for you)
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To: shrinkermd

She is a brave girl to put these thoughts into writing. Depriving a child of half of its history is not right. It is bad enough if a child is conceived by two adults who don't stay together, or when the father dies before the child is born, but for a mother to say (by her action) "your father doesn't matter, I just wanted you" is cruel.


25 posted on 12/18/2006 6:23:34 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: maica

Yes, I agree. And this vignette proves that as always the heart is a lonely hunter and it seeks closure. Sort of proof we are more than a biological occurrence.


26 posted on 12/18/2006 6:25:45 AM PST by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd
Oh whine whine whine! How is this any different from adoption where nothing is known about either parent?
27 posted on 12/18/2006 6:27:01 AM PST by Ditter
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To: shrinkermd

The article said she was a student at Gallaudet University. If I'm not mistaken that is a university for the deaf or hearing impaired. Wonder if that played into her search for the "genetics" info?


28 posted on 12/18/2006 6:27:51 AM PST by dawn53
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To: dawn53

Yes, I noticed that as well. Your guess is as good as mine.


29 posted on 12/18/2006 6:34:05 AM PST by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd
I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion.

Find some bootstraps and a life!

None of us are asked to be born into whatever situation we find ourselves.

Life is hard for all of us.

30 posted on 12/18/2006 6:34:46 AM PST by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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To: camle
they're props, y'know.

Sadly, this is very true.

In the late 60s to 70s the birth rate (and marriage rate) took a dive. When the frenzy over Cabbage Patch dolls occured, I predicted that a new baby boom would follow. Sure enough, within 5 years school boards were 'surprised' at the increase in enrollment that was starting.

Actresses in Hollywood started having the prop, as you say, of a baby - no father in sight. This translated to being a sign of approval for unmarried women everywhere to do the same thing, if they wanted a baby without the complication of having to find a man and to share their 'lifestyle' with him.

We all know that plants thrive on proper care and conditions, but we overlook this fact when it comes to the care and nurture of little humans, and kid ourselves that it doesn't make a difference.

31 posted on 12/18/2006 6:36:13 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: Vaquero

Vaquero, you are VERY bad. hahaha.


32 posted on 12/18/2006 6:37:10 AM PST by bboop (Stealth Tutor)
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To: AnAmericanMother
Imagine that.

As I get older, I more and more understand Mother Church's stance on contraception and artificial procreation. So many of hte problems we face as a society come down to "letting go and letting God,"

33 posted on 12/18/2006 6:38:20 AM PST by Malacoda (A day without a pi$$ed-off muslim is like a day without sunshine.)
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To: silverleaf

This whiner needs to get a life....of her own. She has a chance to be anything she sets her mind to.....instead she whines and laments. What a shame.


34 posted on 12/18/2006 6:38:35 AM PST by OldFriend (THE PRESS IS AN EVIL FOR WHICH THERE IS NO REMEDY)
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To: Paloma_55

Well, she might be called selfish by you and the author, but he is here.

His choice at this point is to decide to live a good life and quit whining about his origins. He has life, that seems to be something to be grateful about.

None of us, with few exceptions, have had perfect lives. many people grow up without fathers. Many people have selfish mothers.

This Dude needs to get over his whining and move on.


35 posted on 12/18/2006 6:41:08 AM PST by cajungirl (no)
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To: shrinkermd

The idea of a "Donor" for a married couple with fertility issues is one thing.. the idea of a "Donor" bank for single women to produce kids just because they want one is quite another.

Fatherlessness is one of the fastest ways, particularly for a male child to wind up in trouble. No they don't all wind up in trouble, but statistically they are a much more risk before they even get their first breath.


36 posted on 12/18/2006 6:42:08 AM PST by HamiltonJay
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To: shrinkermd

This should be required reading at feminazi indoctrination centers (colleges). This is proof that going against human nature has bad consequences. This sort of artificial parent thing is unnatural and abnormal. We aren't made that way.
There's a reason why some churches are against this sort of thing: because it's against human nature. It has nothing to do with religious doctrine.


37 posted on 12/18/2006 6:42:25 AM PST by Leftism is Mentally Deranged (liberalism = brain cell deficiency)
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To: shrinkermd
Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too

Liberals don't think that

38 posted on 12/18/2006 6:44:59 AM PST by Mo1 (Thank You Mr & Mrs "I'm gonna teach you a lesson" Voter ... you just screwed us on so many levels)
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To: dawn53
It has been reported that some lesbian deaf women look for deaf sperm donors - I have heard them interviewed on the radio. The selfishness of these women made my skin craw. They say that their deafness is a lifestyle, so they want their child to be able to participate in it.

I hope that some of the posters of callous comments on this thread will rethink the message of the article. The author is describing her situation in the hope that she can prevent some other children being conceived and born with similar motive to her conception. There is a huge difference between being a product of conception by nature's way, and by the designer model concept. Her parent DELIBERATELY said to her: you do not need half of you life. That is much different from having a father who is absent (which is sad enough).

39 posted on 12/18/2006 6:45:37 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: shrinkermd

Boo hoo. Get over it.


40 posted on 12/18/2006 6:47:16 AM PST by Lovebloggers
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To: maica

Yeah it would be much more preferred if she wasn't conceived at all right?


41 posted on 12/18/2006 6:48:33 AM PST by Lovebloggers
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To: shrinkermd

Ranch dressing anyone?


42 posted on 12/18/2006 6:50:15 AM PST by pipecorp ( Al Lahsucks boat steersman hell)
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To: Fishtalk
It's just...just not right. The whole process serves further to put fathers onto the sidelines and minimize their need.

That's the idea. First, make fathers obsolete. Ridicule them on TV Sitcoms, make cuckolds support their wife's Fun Offspring, persecute estranged fathers in the Courts, loot their assets and publish their names, and pretty soon, MEN will be obsolete, we can start aborting male fetuses, and will all have a wonderful lesbian society with no more war or pollution or rape.

Brought to you by the Supremist Organization of Women.(SOW)

43 posted on 12/18/2006 6:50:39 AM PST by Gorzaloon ("Illegal Immigrant": The Larval form of A Democrat.)
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To: maica

It has been reported that some lesbian deaf women look for deaf sperm donors - I have heard them interviewed on the radio.






Must have been a very quiet interview.


44 posted on 12/18/2006 6:51:31 AM PST by durasell (!)
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To: DB

If she was on food stamps, where'd she get the money for the procedure? [I assume the pre-natal and delivery were on the taxpayers].


45 posted on 12/18/2006 6:55:13 AM PST by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: shrinkermd
Father figures can be intimidating:


46 posted on 12/18/2006 6:55:41 AM PST by Rb ver. 2.0
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To: ItsForTheChildren

A jar or can of turkey gravy.


47 posted on 12/18/2006 6:57:42 AM PST by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Lovebloggers

She is speaking out about her feelings and observations, in the hope of stopping others from being "created" with only half a history.

I read no whining or wishing that she wasn't born in her article.


48 posted on 12/18/2006 7:01:00 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: silverleaf
For the world's Ms Clarks, whether adopted or born from donated tissue - you don't like your life? Get in line.

Agreed. More whining from someone entitled to a perfect life.

I'm astonished that more people here are encouraging this self-indulgent drivel.

49 posted on 12/18/2006 7:01:05 AM PST by highball ("I never should have switched from scotch to martinis." -- the last words of Humphrey Bogart)
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To: durasell

LOL! No, just strange sounding English.


50 posted on 12/18/2006 7:02:27 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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