Skip to comments.How To Fight
Posted on 12/20/2006 4:36:42 PM PST by LibWhacker
The summer I turned 6 years old, some of the neighborhood boys started bullying me. Back then, I owned a pair of cabbage patch kid roller-skates and my favorite activity was skating around the block singing nursery rhymes at the top of my lungs. One day, a few boys in the 8-10 range thought it would be pretty humorous to push me around and watch me flail. I tried to run from them, but I couldnt skate faster than they could run. They taunted me for a while and then knocked me down. Angry, humiliated, and with two freshly skinned knees, I did what any 6 year old girl would do in my position.
I went home and told my Dad.
My Father was an ex marine and always preached the benefits of learning self defense. Unlike most parents, he had no interest in calling the parents of my bullies to open up a dialogue or some other such tripe. Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little ass.
My Mother balked at this idea. She didnt think little girls should be fighting. Little girls were supposed to have tea parties and then play dress up. Fighting was for little boys.
What if someday a vicious serial killer kidnaps her? my Father asked, Do you want her to die weeping and begging for her life? Or would you rather she have the courage to wrench the knife from the killers hand and stab him in the throat?
He paused, mid tirade, and said to me, If that ever happens, V, stab and twist. Stab and twist.
With my Mother temporarily mollified, My Father took me into the back yard to teach me how to fight.
Nervously, I explained to my Father that not only was I outnumbered by the boys, but they were bigger and stronger than I was. There was no way that I could beat them. My Father merely brushed my fears aside. He said that while they had the advantage of size and strength on their side, I could develop my own advantages. Here are some tips that he gave me:
1. Always Respond to Threats with Complete Confidence
Sometimes all it takes to make a bully re-think pounding you into a pulp is to make it very clear to him exactly how unafraid you are of a physical confrontation. When a bully threatens you, he is trying to invoke in you some fear in which he can feed off of. If you respond to his threats with confidence, even eagerness, it will give him a pause. If he doesnt chicken out right then and there, he will enter the fight with a slight feeling of unease. His apprehension is your advantage.
2. Fighting Dirty is Fighting Smart
A fist fight isnt the same as a karate tournament with judges and points. Your opponent is trying to hurt you, so dont let some silly moral argument prevent you from kicking the little b****rd in the nuts. Throw sand in his eyes, kick him in the back of the knees, bite him, or punch him in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him. If hes got you pinned down and you happen to see a rock out of the corner of your eye? Dont be afraid to grab that rock and smash his face with it. There is no shiny trophy waiting for you at the end of this fight, so everything goes.
3. Talk Some Sh!t
Nothing will rattle your opponent faster than you screaming a steady stream of s*** at him while youre engaged in combat. The crazier you sound the better. If you cant think of anything tough to yell, yell nonsense like, Im going to eat your eyes! If you cant think of any nonsense to yell, just plain scream. The second your opponent suspects that youre a freaking lunatic hes going to get scared. Fear causes people to make mistakes.
4. When You Lose, Claim It Didnt Hurt
Sometimes youre just outmatched. But even losing a fight can be used to your advantage. When its over, feel free to spit blood in his face and tell him that it didnt hurt. Laugh when he walks away. You might have just gotten your a** kicked six ways from Sunday, but I guarantee you that anyone watching that fight will think twice about ever messing with you in the future. No one wants to f*** with the crazy kid who feels no pain.
Armed with my new tips and tricks, I laced up my skates and headed out to face the jungle that is childhood. When the boys confronted me again, I dared them to mess with me. One ballsy kid lunged towards me with the intent of pushing me down. Quickly, I kicked that kid squarely between the legs with my skate. He crumpled to the ground as I hysterically screamed at his friends, ILL EAT YOUR EYES! ILL EAT ALL OF YOUR EYES! Terrified, those boys got up and ran like Hell. Ive never felt so empowered in my entire life.
In retrospect, I think my Father was just trying to teach me a little something about fear and courage. Back then, and even more so today, it became quite popular to advise your children to: Run. Hide. Look away. Go get someone bigger. Be afraid. As a result, modern children and adults alike are easily paralyzed by fear and have no idea how to defend themselves.
After reading certain articles on my website, Ive even seen people comment, What is she going to do if she says the wrong thing to the wrong person? Shes going to end up getting hurt or killed.
I feel sorry for those people. So paralyzed by fear of what might happen, that they lack the courage to stand up for themselves or for someone weaker. I refuse to live my life afraid to say what I feel or do what is right because there might be some mysterious villain lurking in the shadows who is bigger and stronger. Better to be dead, than to live your life afraid.
Besides, I could just as easily spend my life acting meek and compliant only to still end up with a bullet in my head. However, because my Father taught me courage, its not likely that Id go down without a fight. Who knows? I may even end up wrenching a knife from some psychos hands and stabbing him in the throat with it.
Of course, Ill remember to stab and twist.
Good article and good advice. Thanks to your dad for his service and teaching his little girl right.
Thanks. Just reading it made me feel more empowered.
I've led a very sheltered life, and I've never had a "fight" in my 65 years. But I hope and pray that, if need be, I'd have the courage to do exactly as your dad so wisely taught you.
My dad then would show me a little boxing every few weeks. He also installed a heavy bag in the garage.
I never lost a fight with anyone, not that I fought very much, only when I had to. As a 15 year old, I broke one bully's arm by blocking a roundhouse punch right on his arm from which a cast had been recently removed. He was twice my size. And I can assure you my teen years were peaceful. No one messed with me, and I never had to fight a bully again, and have faced down many, without fighting, as a matter of periodic professional employment where that sort of thing may be needed.
My family is of Irish stock. My Uncles all had really fast hands, and encouraged me.
I passed it on to my son.And he too lived a peaceful teen life after marking his personal bully. I think it is a right of passage.
My Mom and Dad taught me the same things with one additional item that worked pretty well.
I was always the smallest in my class and as a result got beat up by this one bully who was much bigger. He did it every chance he got - even though I fought hard I still lost.
Mom told me to wait till he's walking the other way in the school hall between classes, call his name, when he looks sucker punch him and keep walking. She said to do it every time he picked on me.
I did - the first time the punch knocked him on his butt and he never knew who hit him (but his bully buddies did!). It took me doing that about 5 or 6 times till someone told him who it was, and he quit picking on me. The guy never new when to expect the get suckered - HE lived in fear for a while! After he found out he looked for me in the hall and made sure he was as far away as possible! All on school grounds and neither of us got in trouble for it.
It was great! Like the writer above said - no need to be fair.
In US public schools, a child can be suspended or expelled for fighting back bullies...
Oops sorry, I neglected to include the name of the author (it's not me)! The real author goes by the pseudonym 'V.' That's all I know about her.
Hit 'em with so many lefts, they will be begging for a right.
"3. Talk Some Sh!t
Nothing will rattle your opponent faster than you screaming a steady stream of s*** at him while youre engaged in combat. The crazier you sound the better. If you cant think of anything tough to yell, yell nonsense like, Im going to eat your eyes! If you cant think of any nonsense to yell, just plain scream. The second your opponent suspects that youre a freaking lunatic hes going to get scared. Fear causes people to make mistakes."
That is a yankee thing, in the south we go quiet, and proceed to fight to the death.
As every proper lady should.
And Iraq Study Groups.
Your opponent is trying to hurt you, so dont let some silly moral argument prevent you from kicking the little b****rd in the nuts.
Now, James Baker and Colin Powell would NEVER approve of that. Its all your fault the bullies are angry at you. You must dialogue with the bullies if you want a "comprehensive solution" to their bullying. :-)
Right. Lets all take a lesson from the LOSERS of that war. ;-)
When I was about 8 years old I was picked on by a much bigger, larger kid. I fought back but still had trouble with him.
One day I saw his younger brother who was my size and my age. I shoved him against a chain link fence and requested that he tell their parents that every time his brother jumped me I would track him down and stomp a mud puddle in HIS a**.
His brother never bothered me again.
Not only in public schools. Our son went to a private school (of a certain religion) for several years - the principal and teachers would end up blaming the victim and chastise him/her for "tattling". If the victim defended himself/herself, they received the same punishment as the bully. (And we paid tuition for this!!!) We told our son, the heck with it - go ahead and defend yourself well - you'll get in trouble for it anyway, beat the murtha outta that kid and at least make the punishment worth it. Not a single one of those bullies signed up to serve in Iraq. Go figure.
They talked some s**t for a while, but finally left. As a group, they could be sure they could take me. As individuals, they could be certain that I would kill the first one to come within reach of me.
Nobody wanted to be first.
If want to learn how to fight, start with watching the UFC ("Ultimate Fighting Championship") programs. That will show you what actually works in a fight, as opposed to what works in theory. Then practice what works.
LOL, great story and outcome.....you had a great mom...