Working mothers 'damage their child's health'

Telegraph ^ | 12/30/06 | Graeme Paton

[TASMANIANRED]

If you aren't implanting your values in your child, someone else is.

[SALChamps03]

This must be uncomfortable reading for many parents because they have chosen to leave their tiny children in day care and they know inside themselves that it is often not the right thing to do.

Says whom? You?

[jayef]

My children go to daycare and I have NEVER felt that there is ANYTHING wrong with it. Thanks for your silly opinion though.

[brytlea]

I am not sure that's true. My husband worked and I stayed home, he didn't make alot and we had 3 kids in 3 1/2 years. We didn't have any of the bells and whistles everyone else had, had old cars (and sometimes only one car). Taxes may be high, but most people in the US live above their means and think they need things they really don't. Those years were tough, but I wouldn't trade them for anything, and in fact, neither would my kids, who not only had a Mom at home, but also learned that money doesn't grow on trees, nor does it make you happy.
Additionally, many of the working Moms I talk to admit that they work because staying home makes them crazy. I understand those moments, I had them too, but I found my children endlessly fascinating, and I don't understand Moms who don't.
susie

[FourPeas]

This must be uncomfortable reading for many parents because they have chosen to leave their tiny children in day care and they know inside themselves that it is often not the right thing to do.

Yep.

[Liberty Wins]

I've seen a lot of changes in my 30 years as a Montessori teacher. The failure to bond is real. Years ago little girls would usually say they wanted to be a "mommy" when they grew up.

Now they say they want to be a babysitter.

[HarmlessLovableFuzzball]

..their child's health..

You would expect better grammar from the Brits.

[brytlea]

My very liberal child psych prof years ago said that studies showed that kids actually did better in smaller, mixed age groups (like extended families would be in pre-industrial societies) than they did in larger same age groups.
susie

[jayef]

How very scientific. Have you written any papers or done any studies on the subject? I'd love to see what you've published.

[LisaMalia]

This is a rather gray area.

When my children were under 5, I babysat other kids, or worked parttime jobs, and then my mom babysat. That gave them time with Grandma, with me still being there the majority of the time.

Both of my sisters worked full time, and used daycare, and their children turned out great.

I know it's a cliche, but I do think it's the QUALITY time that counts. What good is a mom who stays home with her kids......and surfs the net all day, or watches tv, and doesn't give her children much attention, if any.

[Liberty Wins]

At the beginning I decided not to accept any students under age three in our school. Their distress (in the form of ear-splitting shreiks) was so obvious and so painful for me, a mother too, that I did my little part by setting an age limit. We also tried to steer parents in the direction of in-home babysitters rather than large daycare centers which have continually rotating personnel.

[jayef]

Exactly. My children are nurtured both at daycare and at home.

[jayef]

Not all daycare centers are the same. You've issued a sweeping indictment here . . . and a rather unscientific one to boot.

[Talking_Mouse]

I wonder how the children more than 300 years ago learned. Not the children of those people wealthy enough to let the wife just look after their home. Those people had hired people to work in the field. Most people only farmed their own land. Most women worked in the fields with their husbands.

[FourPeas]

However, Hayley Doyle, spokesman for the National Day Nurseries Association, said: "Many parents need to work and should not be criticised for choosing to send their children to a nursery. The vast majority of nurseries are recognised as being of a high standard and studies have shown that children who have been to them are, in the long term, higher achievers and better earners."

This is all fine and well if you believe the purpose of life is to be high achievers and better earners. I notice there's no response to the mental health issues, anorexia, etc.

[FourPeas]

They brought their children with them and the children learned as they lived.

[Humidston]

I know some people face that dilemma, but I can tell you this.... I stayed home and raised my two during their formative years.

Today both of them are outstanding, well adjusted (kind of :), and great parents and citizens. I wouldn't take $100,000,000,000 for our history, those memories, and our loving relationship today.

[RKV]

I would say you are not a parent. Or the truth of that "opinion" would be self-evident.

[RKV]

Quantity has a quality of its own. I think the word the "professionals" use is "bonding." Your children are going to be like those they spend time around - and most like those they spend the most time around. Personally, I always thought it better that my kids model adult behavior, rather than childish or adolescent behavior. You get what you put in.

[Liberty Wins]

Nobody's making any "sweeping indictments."

There is a crucial period for emotional development between birth and the age of 30 months. It's just an unfortunate fact that it is much more difficult for a group daycare to provide a one-on-one nurturing environment than it is for a parent, grandparent, or a babysitter.