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Casual sex is a con: women just aren't like men
Sunday Tines ^ | 14 January 2007 | Dawn Eden

Posted on 01/15/2007 8:04:12 AM PST by shrinkermd

The Sixties generation thought everything should be free. But only a few decades later the hippies were selling water at rock festivals for $5 a bottle. But for me the price of “free love” was even higher.

I sacrificed what should have been the best years of my life for the black lie of free love. All the sex I ever had — and I had more than my fair share — far from bringing me the lasting relationship I sought, only made marriage a more distant prospect...

And I am not alone. Count me among the dissatisfied daughters of the sexual revolution, a new counterculture of women who are realising that casual sex is a con and are choosing to remain chaste instead.

I am 37, and like millions of other girls, was born into a world which encouraged young women to explore their sexuality. It was almost presented to us as a feminist act. In the 1960s the future Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown famously asked: Can a woman have sex like a man? Yes, she answered because “like a man, [a woman] is a sexual creature”. Her insight launched a million “100 new sex tricks” features in women’s magazines. And then that sex-loving feminist icon Germaine Greer enthused that “groupies are important because they demystify sex; they accept it as physical, and they aren’t possessive about their conquests”.

(Excerpt) Read more at timesonline.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: casual; consequences; culturalentropy; culturewar; feminism; freelove; freeloveisntfree; freesex; genx; ho; moralabsolutes; promiscuity; sex; skank; slut; womenvmen
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FYI
1 posted on 01/15/2007 8:04:14 AM PST by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd

The "women are the same as men" feminist lie did great damage to a generation of women. Put it down as one more reason not to trust radical feminist...


2 posted on 01/15/2007 8:07:28 AM PST by GOPJ
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To: shrinkermd
But for me the price of “free love” was even higher.

"Yeah, too bad about that." --MSM

In 1968, Planned Parenthood and the MSM lied about how "the pill" would liberate women.

In 1968, someone else told the truth.

Consequences of Artificial Methods

17. Responsible men can become more deeply convinced of the truth of the doctrine laid down by the Church on this issue if they reflect on the consequences of methods and plans for artificial birth control. Let them first consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards. Not much experience is needed to be fully aware of human weakness and to understand that human beings—and especially the young, who are so exposed to temptation—need incentives to keep the moral law, and it is an evil thing to make it easy for them to break that law. Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.

Humanae Vitae


3 posted on 01/15/2007 8:10:19 AM PST by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: shrinkermd

Dawn you ignorant slut.


4 posted on 01/15/2007 8:11:00 AM PST by JRochelle (Hunter 2008!)
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To: shrinkermd

Good article. As someone right in her age demographic, I totally see how casual sex has seriously, negatively, impacted relationships.

This wrong can be righted, but it will take a concerted effort on the part of both women and men to accept a new "normal."

Normal should not be casual sex as THE major part of loving relationships.


5 posted on 01/15/2007 8:12:36 AM PST by fleagle
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To: shrinkermd
Google up her name, and you come across an article in Gawker:

"Born-again former groupie and author of The Thrill of the Chaste Dawn Eden is, stunningly, finding it a bit tough to locate the special someone who deserves her regrown ladytreasure. The problem? Even though "[celibacy] is a state of grace, where nothing penetrates you," sometimes things can get a little out of hand: "Kissing happens." It happens but rarely, though: Dawn does date, but "not very often. And not in a while." So has she been, you know, taking care of her own needs? GOD, no! "From the beginning, when I first started masturbating I always felt depressed afterward. As I drew closer to Catholicism I realized that masturbation was against my faith."

Kissing happens?? I should hope so! Seems that this born again virgin is under the influence of an extremely restrictive religion, and really won't feel happy until we all do like she does.

My name for this kind of person? Neoprude.

6 posted on 01/15/2007 8:12:54 AM PST by hunter112
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To: shrinkermd

Can someone really be named "Dawn Eden"?


7 posted on 01/15/2007 8:13:14 AM PST by WashingtonSource
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To: shrinkermd

Those Brits are all Bangers and Mash.


8 posted on 01/15/2007 8:14:57 AM PST by Stallone (War and Politics: When the Enemy begins to feel pain, they change their behavior to avoid it.)
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To: shrinkermd
I am 37, and like millions of other girls, was born into a world which encouraged young women to explore their sexuality.

And the NEA fights hard to exclude suggesting that 13-year olds wait for sex from sex education.

9 posted on 01/15/2007 8:15:00 AM PST by Always Right
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To: shrinkermd
This unfortunate girl is finding out what so many have:

Sex is precious, not something to be shared with hundreds of other people.

Our ancestors, who appear to us to be so prudish, knew far more than some of us do. There are sound reasons for our traditional proscriptions on casual sex, ranging from moral reasons to the acknowledgement of female psychology to the best interests of children to the preservation of society.

All that said, I'm glad Dawn found Christ. She may never find a husband, but she has the best Husband of all.

10 posted on 01/15/2007 8:15:09 AM PST by Fairview
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To: shrinkermd
I think this saying, which I heard years ago, is generally true - "men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love." Of course sometimes two people meet at the right time and the right place and they click and can build a mutually loving and equal relationship, regardless of whether they engaged in sex at the get-go. But overall, I think for women, so-called casual sex is an empty experience.

I totally agree that the 60's were very poisonous to male-female relationships, and posted that here recently, on a thread about the 60's. Women who grew up in that era were sold a bill of goods.

11 posted on 01/15/2007 8:15:33 AM PST by veronica (http://images20.fotki.com/v360/photos/1/106521/3848737/gladysPSCP-vi.jpg)
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To: fleagle
As someone right in her age demographic, I totally see how casual sex has seriously, negatively, impacted relationships.

It's not what you do, it's how you make sense of it that matters. She thinks that burrowing into the most sexually repressive Western religion known is the way to wash this off of her conscience. Maybe a few hundred bucks worth of sessions with a good therapist would have helped.

12 posted on 01/15/2007 8:15:41 AM PST by hunter112
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To: WashingtonSource

A lot of folks have gotten up at the crack of Dawn.


13 posted on 01/15/2007 8:16:46 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: shrinkermd

WOW, what a fascinating piece. I admire her! She finally got it right!


14 posted on 01/15/2007 8:17:09 AM PST by Dudoight
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To: shrinkermd
"I learnt from my sister and my mother that a woman can be intelligent and beautiful and yet have a difficult time meeting a responsible, gentlemanly man who wishes to be married for life. This was the 1970s and early 1980s, the age of the Sensitive New Age Guy or aptly named “snag”. My mother attracted them because she was new age herself, doing kundalini yoga and attending lectures by various gurus. "

Sounds like her mother was just another hippie. No wonder this woman grew up thinking like she does. With different (and conservative) parents, I'm sure Rachel Corrie would still be alive today instead of food for the bugs.
15 posted on 01/15/2007 8:17:17 AM PST by stm (Believe 1% of what you hear in the drive-by media and take half of that with a grain of salt)
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To: Fairview
Our ancestors, who appear to us to be so prudish, knew far more than some of us do.

Are we talking cave people here? They didn't even link sex with procreation. Or did it all start at Adam and Eve for you?

16 posted on 01/15/2007 8:17:24 AM PST by hunter112
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To: hunter112

She seems to gravitate to extremes. In the article she says she remained a virgin until 23. Then, of course, went bonkers having sex with rock musicians. Now she's turned a 180 again.


17 posted on 01/15/2007 8:17:28 AM PST by SpringheelJack
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To: shrinkermd

“100 new sex tricks”

As we throw out the bathwater of casual sex, let's try hard to retain these 100 sex tricks, please.


18 posted on 01/15/2007 8:18:56 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: shrinkermd

Let me esplain the real facts of life; Many men are happy to find a slut, but never want to marry one. Double standard? Yup, but still a fact of life.


19 posted on 01/15/2007 8:19:19 AM PST by umgud (The profound is only so to those that it is.)
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To: veronica
I think this saying, which I heard years ago, is generally true - "men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love."

This one is even older: Women need a reason; men need a place.

20 posted on 01/15/2007 8:19:55 AM PST by MozarkDawg
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To: qam1; ItsOurTimeNow; PresbyRev; tortoise; Fraulein; StoneColdGOP; Clemenza; m18436572; ...
Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.

21 posted on 01/15/2007 8:21:01 AM PST by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: hunter112
Kissing happens?? I should hope so! Seems that this born again virgin is under the influence of an extremely restrictive religion, and really won't feel happy until we all do like she does.

Show me evidence in the article that she "really won't feel happy until we all do like she does." I see no suggestion that she is trying to impose her beliefs on others; she is merely showing us what has brought her happiness.

My name for this kind of person? Neoprude.

So if you think she is a prude, please tell us how much sex without marriage you think is okay, neither prudish nor slutty. Where is the balance?

22 posted on 01/15/2007 8:21:12 AM PST by Fairview
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To: Aquinasfan

Birth control is like a gun: It grants power, but is itself not good nor bad. It depends on how the power is wielded in the hands of a human.


23 posted on 01/15/2007 8:23:09 AM PST by RobRoy (Islam is a greater threat to the world today than Nazism was in 1938.)
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To: shrinkermd
I'm the same age as the author and that was NOT the world I was born into. There's no doubt women are different and do, indeed, want to 'bond'.

What I'm discovering is there is a large number of divorced women in their 30s who are enjoying the single life while sharing custody of their kids with their ex's. It's the best of both worlds for them... they have children, but are free from the restraints of marriage. This freedom lets them party like there's no tomorrow, especially on the weekends the kids are with dad. It's like a social pack of divorced women who go out and get drunk with each other, every other weekend. Seriously. I find it amusing yet kinda disturbing.

Are there women who marry for the sole purpose of procreating, then ultimately divorce to enjoy the single life again?

24 posted on 01/15/2007 8:23:14 AM PST by rintense (Just say no to McCain in 2008!)
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To: shrinkermd

I just missed coming of age in the sixties. Thank goodness!

Marriage has always been more of an economic relationship through history rather than love. The idea that the partners need to be in love is a rather new idea. The idea that one marries only for love has usually been considered foolish until the last century. To this day it doesn't guarantee success.

Marriages were formed for political and econimic gain as well as to make certain that the product of the marriage - the support and inheritance claims (children) were controlled. One had to know who the father was so he would support the child and endow it. Therefore the sexual activities of the woman had to be controlled. DNA is a rather new device.

Since the advent of "romantic love" as the primary reason for marriage the unspoken dictum has been "if you want her, marry her." Since the male initiates the choice and the woman's consent is a response - he has to want her enough to make that initial proposition. It's no longer a negotiation between the young couple's parents.

The "free love" of the Baby Boomers eviserated the need for a choice on either side. It make love into sex without love. Temporary passion is not love - it's sex.

My mother's message to me was: keep yourself worthy of a worthy man. (It worked wonderfully!)

As Laura Schlesinger says living together is not marriage - it's being an unpaid whore.

Of course this "onus" on the woman is considered grossly unfair to the woman as well as anachronistic by the feminists. However, people are people the feminists notwithstanding. The basic human responses haven't changed.

If you give it away freely, it's not worth much.


25 posted on 01/15/2007 8:24:24 AM PST by Basheva
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To: JRochelle

You must be one heck of a person with a comment like that.

Must be great to be able to say you have never made a mistake or listened to bad advice when you thought you were being told something that was true.

And then to sit in judgement of those who, not being as perfect as you are have not only made mistakes but decided to share that truth with others.


26 posted on 01/15/2007 8:24:34 AM PST by stockpirate (John Kerry & FBI files ==> http://www.freerepublic.com/~stockpirate/)
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To: hunter112
Are we talking cave people here? They didn't even link sex with procreation. Or did it all start at Adam and Eve for you?

No, I am referring to our more recent ancestors--people who lived seventy-five, a hundred, three hundred years ago. At those times people believed sex before or without marriage was generally unwise, damaging to the female psyche and to society. And so it has proved to be.

27 posted on 01/15/2007 8:24:57 AM PST by Fairview
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To: Fairview

I may have missed it, but where in this article did it say she found Christ?


28 posted on 01/15/2007 8:25:01 AM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: WashingtonSource
Can someone really be named "Dawn Eden"?

Why not?

It's not as bad as: Misty Hyman, or Dick Trickle.

29 posted on 01/15/2007 8:25:41 AM PST by AFreeBird (If American "cowboy diplomacy" did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.)
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To: SpringheelJack
Now she's turned a 180 again.


Typical woman ,Always changing their minds
30 posted on 01/15/2007 8:25:47 AM PST by grjr21
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To: shrinkermd
Women are different from men. Men are capable of having sex without emotional involvement. Few women are capable of having sex without some feelings for a man getting in the way. That's why a one night stand rarely brings the kind of satisfaction for a woman as it would for a man and why the aftermath of casual sex leaves her feeling cheated and used.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

31 posted on 01/15/2007 8:28:12 AM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: rintense
Then there are some women that could not get a deaf and blind quadraplegic to marry them, even if she weren't a dyke:



Oink, snort, oink!
32 posted on 01/15/2007 8:30:46 AM PST by stm (Believe 1% of what you hear in the drive-by media and take half of that with a grain of salt)
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To: Fairview
Show me evidence in the article that she "really won't feel happy until we all do like she does." I see no suggestion that she is trying to impose her beliefs on others; she is merely showing us what has brought her happiness.

Like I said in the quote from the Gawker article, she's written a book on the subject of being a virgin again. People write books in order to sway other people's thinking. I guess I was just generalizing from my experience with very vocal religious people who are always trying to get everyone else to see the error of their ways.

So if you think she is a prude, please tell us how much sex without marriage you think is okay, neither prudish nor slutty. Where is the balance?

Happy to oblige you. The correct amount is the amount you can handle. If you've taken all due precautions on disease transmission and conception prevention, have all you think you can handle without going into some sort of major funk over it. For some people, that is going to mean sex with condoms with someone who has also been tested for STDs, that they just met, and are hitting it off with, and for others, that means being sexual with the person who has promised to marry you.

By all means, if you cannot deal with premarital sex, then absolutely refrain from it. But don't expect everyone to emulate or admire you for it, especially if you're squeamish about kissing.

33 posted on 01/15/2007 8:33:08 AM PST by hunter112
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To: hunter112

You should tone down you hatred for catholicsm.

You obviously grew up in a catholic home, and have a decidedly different view. It was not your religion it was the religion of your parents. you should find your own. It may indeed be sexually repressive, but it is clear that it is exactly that sexual reperssion which attracted this lost soul to catholicism afer a life of being debauched by every man she slept with.

If this woman finds solace in the catholic church, why do you feel this desire to denigrate her for it. BTW didn't that idiot irish singer Sinaed O'Connor become a born again catholic, for much the same reasons as this woman.

You need to just let it go. If the Catholic church is not for you, that is fine. Go find something else.

BTW, I'm not a catholic, never was, never will be.


34 posted on 01/15/2007 8:33:43 AM PST by Ouderkirk (Don't you think it's interesting how death and destruction seems to happen wherever Muslims gather.)
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To: shrinkermd

This woman must be stopped.


35 posted on 01/15/2007 8:34:13 AM PST by Texas Federalist (Gingrich '08)
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To: grjr21
Typical woman ,Always changing their minds

But the important thing would be...

Do they work any better?

36 posted on 01/15/2007 8:34:28 AM PST by Osage Orange ("The man who most vividly realizes a difficulty is the man most likely to overcome it.")
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To: shrinkermd
The Dawn Patrol
37 posted on 01/15/2007 8:35:07 AM PST by Regulator
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To: RobRoy
Birth control is like a gun: It grants power, but is itself not good nor bad.

Actually, it is intrinsically evil. Its sole purpose is to prevent the proper operation of the human body (the reproductive system). It's simply a poison.

Artificial means of birth control are to the human reproductive system what binging-and-purging is to the human digestive system.

38 posted on 01/15/2007 8:35:13 AM PST by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: Aquinasfan

I just had a college class where Margaret Sanger was presented as a saint. I asked the students about Sanger and genocide. They denied it. During the break I gathered some quotations and the photo of Sanger speaking to the KKK. The whole class was disgusted over the quotations and the photo.
Then I read them a quotation from Jesse Jackson about abortion being unthinkable. They did not know the author. Then I told them. It made quite an impression.


39 posted on 01/15/2007 8:35:31 AM PST by sine_nomine (The United States...shall protect each of them against invasion. Article IV, 4. US Constition)
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To: Fairview
At those times people believed sex before or without marriage was generally unwise, damaging to the female psyche and to society.

And since that time, we invented prostitutes, concubines, and extramarital affairs? No, people really didn't refrain from it all that much, they were just way more hypocritical about it.

40 posted on 01/15/2007 8:35:49 AM PST by hunter112
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To: AFreeBird
It's not as bas as: Misty Hyman, or Dick Trickle
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Hey, Dick Trickle is a NASCAR legend! Don't diss Dick! ;)

41 posted on 01/15/2007 8:36:40 AM PST by mkjessup
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To: Aquinasfan

>>Actually, it is intrinsically evil. Its sole purpose is to prevent the proper operation of the human body (the reproductive system). It's simply a poison.<<

I include "pulling out" and the "rhythm method" as birth control. I was not referring to any specific method.

Masectomies are particularly effective. ;)


42 posted on 01/15/2007 8:37:51 AM PST by RobRoy (Islam is a greater threat to the world today than Nazism was in 1938.)
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To: hunter112
She thinks that burrowing into the most sexually repressive Western religion known is the way to wash this off of her conscience.

That's one way of looking at the truth. It's an erroneous way, but it's a way.

There is freedom in truth; there is slavery in sin.

It seems that many people have to learn this the hard way.

43 posted on 01/15/2007 8:38:22 AM PST by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: RobRoy

Birth control is neutral? Nope. Not if you're a Christian with any sort of respect for ancient Christian teaching it isn't.


44 posted on 01/15/2007 8:38:56 AM PST by vladimir998 (Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. St. Jerome)
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To: shrinkermd

I think Dawn's currently being 37 has more to do with her melancholy than her sordid past.


45 posted on 01/15/2007 8:39:32 AM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: JRochelle

Did you read the article?


46 posted on 01/15/2007 8:40:38 AM PST by SuzyQue (Remember to think.)
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To: hunter112

>>She thinks that burrowing into the most sexually repressive Western religion known is the way to wash this off of her conscience.<<

Your opinion.

My opinion is that I'd rather see a person turn to religion and open up their lives to Jesus Christ than spend their money on self-indulgent therapy sessions.


47 posted on 01/15/2007 8:40:55 AM PST by fleagle
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To: stockpirate

Would you not call her a slut?

Maybe not anymore but she sure was at one time.

She is the same age as I am. Sorry, I can't relate to her. Girls like her were looked down on when I was a teenager. I don't know where she grew up but it couldn't have been a very nice place.


48 posted on 01/15/2007 8:41:04 AM PST by JRochelle (Hunter 2008!)
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To: vladimir998

>>Birth control is neutral? Nope. Not if you're a Christian with any sort of respect for ancient Christian teaching it isn't.<<

I disagree. And Christian teaching is not "ancient". It, like God himself, simply "is".


49 posted on 01/15/2007 8:41:40 AM PST by RobRoy (Islam is a greater threat to the world today than Nazism was in 1938.)
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To: hunter112

Adam and Eve,,wouldn't you say?..


50 posted on 01/15/2007 8:43:25 AM PST by silentreignofheroes (When the Last Two Prophets are taken there will be no Tommorrow!)
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