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51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
New York Times ^ | 16 January 2007 | Sam Roberts

Posted on 01/16/2007 10:04:04 AM PST by shrinkermd

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To: JamesP81

It doesn't have to be eHarmony. Just use a regular "dumb" service and check things out yourself. And give yourself a good description.

Match.com worked for me (eHarmony, BTW, was at the time extremely vexing as far as user-friendliness and just plain stupid hyperlinking). My husband - shy as he is ;-) - e-mailed me through it and well, here we are. And we lived 5 min from each other for 15 years. You see, just winging it through "real life" just doesn't net you all the possibilities.


451 posted on 01/17/2007 7:29:22 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Thanks. This has been an interesting thread, to say the least! :o)


452 posted on 01/17/2007 7:42:04 PM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Y'know, I've always thought of politics as show business for ugly people." Jay Leno:Al Gore 11/29)
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To: Titan Magroyne

LOL.


453 posted on 01/17/2007 7:43:46 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: antivenom

To each their own


454 posted on 01/17/2007 8:58:05 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Hildy
Many of these middle-aged women with no career skills. Why should they give up their standard of living?

Nobody's saying they should give up their standard of living...they're just saying it shouldn't come out of the ex's hide. Everyone should enjoy the standard of living they can support.

455 posted on 01/17/2007 9:14:28 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: gogeo

If a husband leaves a wife and family for a younger model, it should come out of his hide. Sorry.


456 posted on 01/17/2007 9:22:14 PM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: the OlLine Rebel

I think women tend toward the social aspect of church more.


457 posted on 01/17/2007 9:23:55 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: petitfour
Your post reminds me of a several folks I know. One stay-at-home college graduate delivered her second child and within months her husband was busy keeping himself happy with an employee...

Now...that's not your friend...that's the plot from that movie City Slickers ;-)

458 posted on 01/17/2007 9:27:44 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: IslandJeff
Turns out, the study included all women over 15 years old, not 18 or 20...

As I recall, there was a statistic about the number of "kids" killed with guns. That story included "kids" up to age 25.

The left is pretty flexible about definitions, aren't they? Any statistic offered by a leftie should be met with skepticism bordering on cynicism.

459 posted on 01/17/2007 9:31:46 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: IslandJeff

Some gals like it when you hold the door, some don't. You can't generalize.


460 posted on 01/17/2007 9:41:27 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: shrinkermd
51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
By the same token, wouldn't 51% of men also be living without spouse?
461 posted on 01/17/2007 9:48:17 PM PST by Minutemen ("It's a Religion of Peace")
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To: gogeo

True That. Problem is, however, being a chameleon with my values strikes me as disingenuous at best, manipulative at worst.

Just gotta find a lady, as opposed to a woman. Optimism still reigns.


462 posted on 01/17/2007 9:49:52 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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To: HitmanLV
They don't want a boor, but a man who is afraid of saying hello to a woman is just unimpressive to most women, on balance.

Like you said, chatting up women is not a big deal and is an easily learned skill.

463 posted on 01/17/2007 9:59:51 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: Victoria Delsoul

...going back through this epiphanic blast of a thread.

Gotta admit, though, upon reflection, there IS one female "indulgence" that absolutely gets under my skin:

- leaving beverage cans around that are half-full. Finish it or dump it out! ;o)


464 posted on 01/17/2007 10:03:54 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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To: Hildy
If a husband leaves a wife and family for a younger model, it should come out of his hide. Sorry...

Sorry, don't agree. I wasn't the one burning bras, or pushing for restraining-orders-on-demand...it was your "sisters."

Whether you wanted equality or not, you got it...deal with it. I'm amazed at the mindset of entitlement that women have...men will always be expected to be gentlemen, and responsible...women will be encouraged to "find themselves."

465 posted on 01/17/2007 10:05:45 PM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: Minutemen

That would require parity in the population,and women outnumber men, so no, it would be statistically impossible for 51% of men to also be living without a spouse.


466 posted on 01/18/2007 6:47:47 AM PST by Melas (Offending stupid people since 1963)
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To: Mr. Jeeves
But if the man doesn't take the leadership role in a relationship from the first instant, it will not end well.

We're in rare disagreement here Jeeves. I'm 100% opposed to either partner assuming a leadership role. I'm certainly not the leader in this relationship, and I'm damned sure not subordinate. It just works better when you have two full independant adults in charge of their own lives.

467 posted on 01/18/2007 6:54:35 AM PST by Melas (Offending stupid people since 1963)
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To: Melas

I think that's the way a lot of us live. I know I like it. :)


468 posted on 01/18/2007 6:56:01 AM PST by linda_22003
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To: gawatchman

Yes it does. Shyness is a weakness. Period.

Shyness is a fear of people, how could you ever spin that into anything other than a weakness? I'm afraid of snakes, do you think I'm going to pretend that's a virtue?


469 posted on 01/18/2007 6:58:38 AM PST by Melas (Offending stupid people since 1963)
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To: Melas
I believe most women expect the man to lead on a very deep level - if in a given case she doesn't, then you are right. The example I like is of a man and a woman in a car, with him driving. She may, of course, at any time make suggestions about the best way to go and how to get there. But he must never let her try to grab the steering wheel. A crash will surely result.

I think most women want it this way, despite all of those layers of feminist conditioning the popular culture has forced upon them. It in no way diminshes her independence or value, but the relationship must be a balance of yin/yang energy, and I believe one member must take the yang (male) role for it to work in the long run. And knowing your past posts, I suspect in your relationship that person is you...and also that she likes it that way. ;)

470 posted on 01/18/2007 7:05:12 AM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: myrabach

Women marry men because of who they are and divorce them because they dislike how they changed them.


471 posted on 01/18/2007 7:14:02 AM PST by JayAr36
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To: JayAr36

Sometimes men divorce women, or haven't you heard? Nothing like a blanket statement to show depth of character, or lack thereof.


472 posted on 01/18/2007 8:07:40 AM PST by myrabach
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To: gogeo

Gee, someone really did you wrong. I'm talking about the cases where a woman marries a man, puts him through school, has kids, stays home caring for the children and the home while the man builds his business. Then, when he reaches success, he kicks her over for a younger trophy wife. It happens, and it happens alot. And that goes for men as well. If the roles are reversed...as sometimes they are now, they deserve the alimony as well.


473 posted on 01/18/2007 8:12:19 AM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: Melas

gotcha!


474 posted on 01/18/2007 8:39:55 AM PST by Minutemen ("It's a Religion of Peace")
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To: Hildy
No, the roles aren't really reversed now, I think...a man being awarded alimony is news...it's a man-bites-dog story.

My 'problem' is living through the last 30 years as an adult, white male, trying to do the right and responsible thing, and realizing in hindsight that I was a chump. Feminism has driven much of the societal and legal change over the last 30 years, and in hindsight it's been about maximizing choices and empowerment for women, and minimizing consequences and responsibilities...accomplished, to some degree, by man bashing and making-it-up-as-you-go.

Sleep with the wrong person, and someone's preggers? If you're a woman, your choices are just starting...if you're a man, your responsibilities are just starting. That role isn't being reversed.

The rules are made up as they go...presumptive restraining orders, for example, have permanently changed family law. That means that a woman just has to say that she feels threatened by her spouse, and she has a restraining order, period...he's out of the house, he's enjoined from seeing his children. It's the legal and moral equivalent of bringing a nuclear bomb to a knife fight. That role isn't being reversed, either.

I think your example may have been married during, say, the late 1960s...the marriage contract has been rewritten since then. Yet, he's the one who's being held to the terms, not her...he still has responsibilities, but she has choices. I don't see that role being reversed, either.

Or...maybe I don't understand what you mean when you say that roles are being reversed...

475 posted on 01/18/2007 9:17:08 AM PST by gogeo (Irony is not one of Islam's core competencies (thx Pharmboy))
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To: gogeo

All I can say to men is choose well and be a good husband. But I'm sorry that I don't agree with your men as victim argument all the way. As long as women carry the child, they hold the trump card. It's never been otherwise. Why would you think it would be?


476 posted on 01/18/2007 9:19:31 AM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: Hildy
Of course, it's never been otherwise. The difference is that now, supposedly in the age of equality, women are equally responsible. But is that even fair?

If one is to believe the argument that it is a woman's body and she can do with it what she wants, then she has the greater responsibility for her becoming pregnant. A man can't get pregnant, can't have sex with a woman without her permission, but he doesn't have any say in whether or not she aborts the baby or keeps it.

I'm not saying that a man has no responsibility in a woman getting pregnant. It usually takes two for a pregnancy to happen. But, if it is her body, her choice to have sex, her choice to use birth control or not, then his responsibility is much less than hers. Right or wrong, the courts do not see it this way with regard to pregnancy. He must pay.

I'm not saying a many shouldn't pay, only that a woman gets to have it both ways. It's both her body and she's not fully responsible for her choices with regard to her body.

477 posted on 01/18/2007 5:56:29 PM PST by GBA (God Bless America!)
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To: GBA

I can't argue with those facts.


478 posted on 01/18/2007 6:42:11 PM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: SauronOfMordor

"I'll assume that getting into discussions of serial-killer techniques would bother you too much?"

?


479 posted on 01/19/2007 9:39:04 AM PST by Scotswife
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To: Fred Hayek

I completed a profile on eharmony.com , and just got rejected as well. I agree, they obviously don't want real men, but problably spineless wimps w/o a hint of negative emotions.


480 posted on 01/19/2007 1:53:02 PM PST by gawatchman
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