Posted on 01/23/2007 10:23:43 AM PST by quidnunc
Don’t bother standing up or clapping, any of you. I already know who won the election, and I know how you feel.
I come before you tonight not to make amends, not to make it good, curry any favor or find any middle ground.
I am, more or less, a lame duck. You’ve had your 100 hours of party time. I know. I won’t get any legislation passed without some major bottom-kissing. Maybe something on illegal aliens. That health insurance thing I’ll be talking about later tonight is pretty much for show. I know it isn’t going anywhere. A proposal to raise middle-class taxes for a healthcare plan you don’t even want? What was I thinking?
None of that really matters. Not now. Those are peacetime issues we’ve been bickering about for a long time, and I don’t expect we’ll resolve them anytime soon.
So what is the best thing I can do tonight? I can tell you the truth. What none of you want to hear. What you’ve been stopping your ears to. The ugly truth.
The State of the Union is a disaster. I did my best, but I made mistakes, and my best wasn’t good enough.
We went to war without building up our army, and now, I am trying to make up for that.
But that is not the disaster.
The disaster is that you, Congress and the American people, do not care to fight.
Faced with a fundamental challenge to our own security, to everything we believe in, to the world order to peace and security for which we and our parents fought so hard for so many years, you now want to pretend like none of these threats are real. You want to surrender to the evil I have been telling you about. An evil that, unchecked, can consume large parts of the world and threatens to usher in a dark age.
You didn’t like it when I talked about evil. Sounded too simple, too uncompromising, too moralistic. Too … biblical.
-snip-
I'd prefer the SOTU address that came in my e-mail the other day:
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mess amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
This is what you want President Bush to say? Haven't you objected when the rest of us have said the same thing?
curious...
Madam Speaker, to quote the puncline of that famous Italian American joke, Where's Minneapolis? I answer, "Uppa US!"
At what point in the speech do you expect Cindy Sheehan to erupt?
New tag line!!
"'scusa Cindy. Tu se una sheeta_heada!"
Your kindness has allowed me to upgrade my alliterative license to a lacivious level!!!
I've speculated about what would happen if Bush and Cheney both resigned, leaving the presidency to Madame Speaker.
That would be poetic justice since all the Dummicrats have done for the past 2 or 3 years is criticize Bush for everything bad that's happened in this country and if he dumped the thankless job in their laps, then they could take all the criticism.
With minor alterations, I'd love to hear that one also! In point of fact, some of that address could be done, along with withdrawing our gallant troops from Germany and France and placing some of them in Poland AND boot the U.N. out of this country. What the proposed address leaves out is the fact that eventually we would have to send a few nukes around the world in final retaliation which may have been avoidable had we continued on the terrorism offensive but with democrat support instead of blind opposition based upon hatred for Bush and lust for empowerment of demcorats into office --to do nothing but socialist developments until the nation falls to the Islamicists.
"At what point in the speech do you expect Cindy Sheehan to erupt?"
First ten minutes, because that fatuous ass Lynn Woolsey will give her another pass for the speech.
"Dealing with the pampered and effeminate Americans will be easy." --Osama bin Laden
I dont know where you live or what you do, but I and my neighbors are doing great.
No, make that better than great.
We are all employed, and there are more 'Help Wanted" signs on local businesses than I can count.
My stock and IRA fund accounts are bigger than ever.
I feel safe in my daily life thanks to GWB's policies, and I believe others around me do also.
In other words. YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THE MAINSTREAM DEM-LIB MEDIA types too much.
Am I depressed the Dems took over Congress?
You bet.
But the world still goes on, and in my view, the state of the union is fabulous.
PS - the one thing that worries me is the ongoing illegal and legal immigration stance by GWB. I dont want my kids and grandkids to fight to speak english.
NAFTA is not a treaty; it's a "trade agreement."
I really like that idea. It would be a mess for a while, but it might finally cure the stupidity of 50% of my neighbors.
An even more interesting question is how many Republicans will heckle Dubya.
But alas... you know he's a globalist don't you?..
bttt
Arnold and his friends will make money.
What else?
He's gonna make a killing at all our expense for a totally unnecessary corny additive, as you well know!!!
Bill Jones, Pacific Ethanol. They've gone public in one of those reverse-merger shell-company fandangos.
http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=PEIX
Market Wire, July, 2004
Accessity Corp. (NASDAQ: ACTY) reported today that it expects due diligence to be completed shortly in its proposed reverse-merger acquisition of Pacific Ethanol, Inc. (PEI), and its affiliates, Kinergy Marketing LLC and Re-Energy LLC. Accessity will then move quickly to hold a shareholder vote on the proposed merger.
Well, ol Bill Jones took us from White Lightnin, to white lying!!!
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