"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
We went through some tough financial times early in our marriage, my wife had to walk the streets for money. She came home with $400.25. I asked her who gave her the $.25...she said "They all did."
I wish I would have made that toast when I ran into my ex (6 months after breaking up) in a bar with two of her boyfriends present!