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A Very Harry Ending
New York Post ^ | February 20, 2007 | ANGELA MONTEFINISE

Posted on 02/20/2007 2:08:05 PM PST by CholeraJoe

February 18, 2007 -- HARRY Potter is not going to die.

But Professor Snape will.

Harry Potter will not hook up with Hermione. But his best friend will.

And Harry Potter will never see Dumbledore alive again. But Dumbledore will still manage to help him.

How do I know these things about the recently completed seventh and final book in the beloved Harry Potter series?

I don’t.

Like millions of other Potter-loving muggles, I’m just guessing. That’s half the fun.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: potter
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To: null and void

Bwahahaha!! I wonder if we could get her to say "HEM" in one of the debates....


101 posted on 02/20/2007 10:08:35 PM PST by Politicalmom ("Always vote for principle...and your vote is never lost."-John Quincy Adams)
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To: CholeraJoe
...interracial dating from J.K. Rowling.

...I'd go get a leperasy test tommorow, just in case.
102 posted on 02/20/2007 10:13:16 PM PST by Old_Mil (http://www.gohunter08.com/)
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To: ahayes

It's called bathos..


103 posted on 02/20/2007 11:13:33 PM PST by propertius
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To: mikeus_maximus; CholeraJoe

If you fundamental Christians could only understand that humour can come in subtle forms too, you would do wonders for your reputation.

He was joking! And he was funny too...


104 posted on 02/20/2007 11:17:06 PM PST by propertius
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To: CholeraJoe
interracial dating from J.K. Rowling.

Not so much "interracial dating" but "inter-species" dating. Of course, for a while Dean Thomas and Ginny Weasley were dating, but itdidn't last.

Mark

105 posted on 02/20/2007 11:17:20 PM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
And how could I have forgotten,

Harry and Cho!

Mark

106 posted on 02/20/2007 11:19:24 PM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: CholeraJoe

CJ, I used to think I was totally humorless, but compared to some of the other folks on this thread, I'm Mark Steyn. Wowza.


107 posted on 02/21/2007 4:27:16 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: Tax-chick

I forgot another interracial couple, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy!


108 posted on 02/21/2007 5:27:11 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Huh? They're both Aryan.

Crud! I used the "A" word. People are going to think I'm a Nazi for sure.

109 posted on 02/21/2007 6:00:33 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

Wrong, Narcissa is related to Sirius so she's a Black.

(Rimshot)


110 posted on 02/21/2007 6:03:57 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: CholeraJoe; Tijeras_Slim

Narcissa was born a Black.

(Get it?)


111 posted on 02/21/2007 6:04:56 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: CholeraJoe

Did you really mean to lump interracial dating in with murder, torture, kidnapping, etc? I hope your tongue is firmly planted in your cheek.


112 posted on 02/21/2007 6:09:19 AM PST by grellis
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To: grellis

Joe was stirring the cauldron. It sure boiled quick too!


113 posted on 02/21/2007 6:10:35 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tax-chick; Tijeras_Slim
That thought crossed my mind as I typed my post.

I'm impressed that the mods only deleted one post on this thread, though.

114 posted on 02/21/2007 6:10:38 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

interracial dating

You should not put that phrase in with all of those negative things, because interracial dating is not negative, nor is interracial marriage.... you are showing your true colors.


115 posted on 02/21/2007 6:11:11 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!!!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

You know, I forgot to mention underage drinking. All the butterbeer and bootleg firewhiskey.


116 posted on 02/21/2007 6:12:03 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

Interracial dating - Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson, Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory, Harry and Parvati Patil, Ron and Padma Patil, Harry and Cho Chang, Ginny Weasley and Michael Corner, Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas.

...and... your point is?


117 posted on 02/21/2007 6:13:06 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!!!)
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To: brwnsuga

I'm sorry if you don't appreciate my satire. Being one-quarter Cherokee, I am the product of interracial dating and can hardly afford to disapprove of it.


118 posted on 02/21/2007 6:15:27 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

You know Weasley's Wizard Weezes would be raided by the BATF in the muggle world.


119 posted on 02/21/2007 6:16:47 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tijeras_Slim
And Bill's marrying that Frenchy!

Even worse, she's part Veela.

But oh, what a hotsky.

120 posted on 02/21/2007 6:17:53 AM PST by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: CholeraJoe

I'm sorry if you don't appreciate my satire.

Nope, didn't...I think some other Freepers were puzzled, too.


121 posted on 02/21/2007 6:18:24 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!!!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Maybe in "Deathly Hallows" one of the Weasley twins dies in an experiment gone wrong. Like Luna's mom did.


122 posted on 02/21/2007 6:18:35 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

I don't think so, it would probably take out 2/3 of Diagon Alley as well.


123 posted on 02/21/2007 6:19:46 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tijeras_Slim; CholeraJoe
Joe was stirring the cauldron.

Yep, that's what I assumed when I responded to the first post.

But then, further into the thread, CJ, you give specific examples of each of your listed transgressions, and you continue to lump interracial dating in with murder et al. Don't be too surprised if folks get the wrong impression.

FWIW--I get it.

124 posted on 02/21/2007 6:24:51 AM PST by grellis
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To: CholeraJoe

It's a risky thing being a satirist. (sigh)


125 posted on 02/21/2007 6:34:31 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: grellis
you give specific examples of each of your listed transgressions

That was because several people said they didn't remember the listed activities' occurring.

126 posted on 02/21/2007 6:39:28 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: Tax-chick
That was because several people said they didn't remember the listed activities' occurring.

It was Be Kind to the Confunded Day.

127 posted on 02/21/2007 6:50:42 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: MikeD
Dumbledore is dead. As a doornail. Like Buckwheat. His picture is in the headmaster's office, so he is out of here.

As I thread, that's an issue for a different thread, which actually has been settled because Rowling has acknowledged that he is dead. Some of the prose concerning his death seems to include extra details that make you wonder whether or not there was some other plan afoot to fake Dumbledore's death. When I read it the first time, I thought about this: "Severus, I have a great plan. First, you kill me."

He was afraid of death, but that's not the same as inviting death. Another theory that I've heard is that he was already "dead" in some fashion during the last book. And one wonders if he could somehow pull a Phoenix and rise. Renewal is a continual theme even if dead is dead. You can't apparate into or out of Hogwarts, but you can if you hold the tailfeather of a phoenix. So no rule seems to be universal.

But, again, I'll take Rowling at her word. On the other hand, if she was being cryptic and parsing her words and Dumbledore is somehow alive, stick him into my predictions where he is.

TS

128 posted on 02/21/2007 7:43:14 AM PST by Tanniker Smith (Math Teachers Know ALL the Angles!)
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To: MarkL

And don't forget the girls having the hots for the Firenze.


129 posted on 02/21/2007 8:35:02 AM PST by TightyRighty
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To: CholeraJoe

Yes, but Dumbledore was a case of euthanasia - a mercy killing.


130 posted on 02/21/2007 8:36:28 AM PST by TightyRighty
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To: mikeus_maximus

Here, I just thought Rowling was ripping off Tolkien.


131 posted on 02/21/2007 8:38:48 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

Nah, it's the other way around.


132 posted on 02/21/2007 8:43:05 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: CholeraJoe

I hope not...they are the only funny characters in the series. Except Peeves. Peeves is a riot. Can't wait until July 21!


133 posted on 02/21/2007 8:44:14 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

That must be it.


134 posted on 02/21/2007 8:45:36 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

The Department of Mysteries is involved somehow. :)

I agree with you on Fred and George, they're a hoot!


135 posted on 02/21/2007 8:47:22 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

Tolkien drew from the same sources of mythology.


136 posted on 02/21/2007 8:56:35 AM PST by mikeus_maximus (Liberals want America to fail so the world can evolve.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

LOL!


137 posted on 02/21/2007 9:10:31 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: mikeus_maximus

I don't think so. I think that Tolkien may have pulled from the mythology but Rowling is pulling from Tolkien. Doesn't matter, she has written six great stories. Can't wait for number seven.


138 posted on 02/21/2007 9:15:02 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: Tanniker Smith

Being dead doesn't keep him from communicating with Harry through his portrait or through an as yet undiscovered horcrux or two-way mirror.


139 posted on 02/21/2007 9:50:41 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe
No, it wouldn't stop Harry from receiving any help. It doesn't explain why Dumbledore wanted to die. Not to go join the Force, I hope.

By the way, the image in the portrait wouldn't be Dumbledore. It's an image of Dumbledore, with his memories and thought patterns, etc. But if Dumbledore went to whatever great beyond there is beyond this realm, that guy isn't the one in the paintings.

As for horcruxes, I'd find it hard to imagine that Dumbledore would create one. And Dumbledore probably expected to die, which would explain putting so many thoughts into his pensieve and telling Harry about them. He can guide him that way as well.

140 posted on 02/21/2007 11:13:56 AM PST by Tanniker Smith (Math Teachers Know ALL the Angles!)
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To: Tanniker Smith
Fred and/or George. One's definitely going to buy the farm. The other will avenge his death. NO! If either one dies, I will never read a Potter book again! They are some of my favorites.....Now I'm crying....sniff...sniff... ;)
141 posted on 02/21/2007 11:24:08 AM PST by EmilyGeiger
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To: null and void
Umbridge is a surrogate for the Hildabeast. REally, I thought her more of a Helen Thomas type. Or Bill Clintons' sec. of state, name ecscapes me for some reason. ;)
142 posted on 02/21/2007 11:29:13 AM PST by EmilyGeiger
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To: EmilyGeiger

Mad Maddie Albright.


143 posted on 02/21/2007 11:43:58 AM PST by null and void (Let's play 6 of global warming...)
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To: EmilyGeiger

Or Janet Reno.

And I agree - if anything happens to Fred or George, I'm going to be very hostile.


144 posted on 02/21/2007 11:45:45 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: EmilyGeiger

Harry's already saved the lives of Ginny, Arthur, and Ron Weasley. If a Weasley dies, it'll be Percy, the prat.


145 posted on 02/21/2007 3:03:42 PM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: Tanniker Smith
You can't apparate into or out of Hogwarts, but you can if you hold the tailfeather of a phoenix. So no rule seems to be universal.

That's something that I've wondered about quite a bit. Not only can't you apparate in and out, you can't do it "on campus." Remember the apparation classes in HBP: Dumbledore had to remove the charm in the Great Hall during the class.

However, also note that the House Elves were able to apparate within Hogwarts.

Maybe it's because when a wizard aparates, he's casting a spell, which a Phoenix and House Elves are magical creatures, and apparation is part of what they are? Just a guess...

Man, I'd LOVE to have some HP conversations, especially today! I've been fighting IP routing and VPN fires last night between 6:00pm and midnight, and all day today!

Mark

146 posted on 02/21/2007 3:07:46 PM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: mikeus_maximus; James Ewell Brown Stuart
Tolkien drew from the same sources of mythology.

Actually, according to some interviews I've read, and the documentary on Tolkien from the special edition FotR DVD set, Tolkien, a professor of languages, was depressed that other than Beowulf, Great Britan really doesn't have its own mythos, the originals having been displaces by conquerors, like the Normans. So he was interesting in coming up with a mythology for England. Of course, he did draw on other mythologies, but his main reason for coming up with middle earth was to give England a mythos.

Mark

147 posted on 02/21/2007 3:14:18 PM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: Tax-chick
And I agree - if anything happens to Fred or George, I'm going to be very hostile.

Whack a blodger at Rowling!

Mark

148 posted on 02/21/2007 3:15:50 PM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: retrokitten

:-) Thank you, rK!


149 posted on 02/21/2007 5:03:21 PM PST by saveliberty (Liberalism (called Middle of the Road by MSM) = You are free to do as you are told.)
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To: MarkL
However, also note that the House Elves were able to apparate within Hogwarts.

Thank you. Forgotten about that. Being part of what they are (magical creatures) as an inate ability seems the most logical explanation. The Charm only affects spells, perhaps, as you said.

150 posted on 02/21/2007 6:42:11 PM PST by Tanniker Smith (Math Teachers Know ALL the Angles!)
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