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A Very Harry Ending
New York Post ^ | February 20, 2007 | ANGELA MONTEFINISE

Posted on 02/20/2007 2:08:05 PM PST by CholeraJoe

February 18, 2007 -- HARRY Potter is not going to die.

But Professor Snape will.

Harry Potter will not hook up with Hermione. But his best friend will.

And Harry Potter will never see Dumbledore alive again. But Dumbledore will still manage to help him.

How do I know these things about the recently completed seventh and final book in the beloved Harry Potter series?

I don’t.

Like millions of other Potter-loving muggles, I’m just guessing. That’s half the fun.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: potter
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To: CholeraJoe

I'm sorry if you don't appreciate my satire.

Nope, didn't...I think some other Freepers were puzzled, too.


121 posted on 02/21/2007 6:18:24 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!!!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Maybe in "Deathly Hallows" one of the Weasley twins dies in an experiment gone wrong. Like Luna's mom did.


122 posted on 02/21/2007 6:18:35 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe

I don't think so, it would probably take out 2/3 of Diagon Alley as well.


123 posted on 02/21/2007 6:19:46 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Tijeras_Slim; CholeraJoe
Joe was stirring the cauldron.

Yep, that's what I assumed when I responded to the first post.

But then, further into the thread, CJ, you give specific examples of each of your listed transgressions, and you continue to lump interracial dating in with murder et al. Don't be too surprised if folks get the wrong impression.

FWIW--I get it.

124 posted on 02/21/2007 6:24:51 AM PST by grellis
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To: CholeraJoe

It's a risky thing being a satirist. (sigh)


125 posted on 02/21/2007 6:34:31 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: grellis
you give specific examples of each of your listed transgressions

That was because several people said they didn't remember the listed activities' occurring.

126 posted on 02/21/2007 6:39:28 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: Tax-chick
That was because several people said they didn't remember the listed activities' occurring.

It was Be Kind to the Confunded Day.

127 posted on 02/21/2007 6:50:42 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: MikeD
Dumbledore is dead. As a doornail. Like Buckwheat. His picture is in the headmaster's office, so he is out of here.

As I thread, that's an issue for a different thread, which actually has been settled because Rowling has acknowledged that he is dead. Some of the prose concerning his death seems to include extra details that make you wonder whether or not there was some other plan afoot to fake Dumbledore's death. When I read it the first time, I thought about this: "Severus, I have a great plan. First, you kill me."

He was afraid of death, but that's not the same as inviting death. Another theory that I've heard is that he was already "dead" in some fashion during the last book. And one wonders if he could somehow pull a Phoenix and rise. Renewal is a continual theme even if dead is dead. You can't apparate into or out of Hogwarts, but you can if you hold the tailfeather of a phoenix. So no rule seems to be universal.

But, again, I'll take Rowling at her word. On the other hand, if she was being cryptic and parsing her words and Dumbledore is somehow alive, stick him into my predictions where he is.

TS

128 posted on 02/21/2007 7:43:14 AM PST by Tanniker Smith (Math Teachers Know ALL the Angles!)
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To: MarkL

And don't forget the girls having the hots for the Firenze.


129 posted on 02/21/2007 8:35:02 AM PST by TightyRighty
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To: CholeraJoe

Yes, but Dumbledore was a case of euthanasia - a mercy killing.


130 posted on 02/21/2007 8:36:28 AM PST by TightyRighty
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To: mikeus_maximus

Here, I just thought Rowling was ripping off Tolkien.


131 posted on 02/21/2007 8:38:48 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

Nah, it's the other way around.


132 posted on 02/21/2007 8:43:05 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: CholeraJoe

I hope not...they are the only funny characters in the series. Except Peeves. Peeves is a riot. Can't wait until July 21!


133 posted on 02/21/2007 8:44:14 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

That must be it.


134 posted on 02/21/2007 8:45:36 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

The Department of Mysteries is involved somehow. :)

I agree with you on Fred and George, they're a hoot!


135 posted on 02/21/2007 8:47:22 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: James Ewell Brown Stuart

Tolkien drew from the same sources of mythology.


136 posted on 02/21/2007 8:56:35 AM PST by mikeus_maximus (Liberals want America to fail so the world can evolve.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

LOL!


137 posted on 02/21/2007 9:10:31 AM PST by Tax-chick (Every "choice" has a direct object.)
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To: mikeus_maximus

I don't think so. I think that Tolkien may have pulled from the mythology but Rowling is pulling from Tolkien. Doesn't matter, she has written six great stories. Can't wait for number seven.


138 posted on 02/21/2007 9:15:02 AM PST by James Ewell Brown Stuart (I support the President and the war on terror!)
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To: Tanniker Smith

Being dead doesn't keep him from communicating with Harry through his portrait or through an as yet undiscovered horcrux or two-way mirror.


139 posted on 02/21/2007 9:50:41 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.")
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To: CholeraJoe
No, it wouldn't stop Harry from receiving any help. It doesn't explain why Dumbledore wanted to die. Not to go join the Force, I hope.

By the way, the image in the portrait wouldn't be Dumbledore. It's an image of Dumbledore, with his memories and thought patterns, etc. But if Dumbledore went to whatever great beyond there is beyond this realm, that guy isn't the one in the paintings.

As for horcruxes, I'd find it hard to imagine that Dumbledore would create one. And Dumbledore probably expected to die, which would explain putting so many thoughts into his pensieve and telling Harry about them. He can guide him that way as well.

140 posted on 02/21/2007 11:13:56 AM PST by Tanniker Smith (Math Teachers Know ALL the Angles!)
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