Skip to comments.Anna Nicole Smith Wipes Israel off the News - by Jack Engelhard
Posted on 02/21/2007 5:33:28 PM PST by Dave123
Anna Nicole Smith Wipes Israel off the News by Jack Engelhard 2/19/2007
People outside the United States, mainly people in Israel, actually believe that were worried about what goes on beyond Anna Nicole Smith. Let me be the first to inform the world (are you listening?) that, sure, once in a while, we care about foreign affairs, but mainly its Anna Nicole Smith.
Anna Nicole Smith, dying as she did several weeks ago, and thus leaving behind an inheritance that everybody wants, did something that even Irans Mahmoud Ahmadinejad failed to do she wiped Israel off the map, so far as news. Click on the TV, scroll to any channel, and heres the latest not on Iraq, not on Sudan, certainly not on Israel, but on Anna Nicole Smith. Wall to wall, this coverage.
This is important information, especially for Israelis, who give up 10 miles of territory whenever they think we, in America, are not happy with their behavior. As soon as they think America is displeased, they say, Okay, what do you want us to give up next? Anything to make us (and the rest of the world) happy.
Last time I was in Israel, people asked, Does America love us? I guess my answer wasnt affirmative enough because a day later Israel they gave away Gaza.
Israelis operate on the (dangerous) assumption that their well-being depends on our thumbs up or thumbs down.
They think were paying attention, yes, but to Anna Nicole Smith.
In a moment, I will update the world on what else is hot here in America, on the news front, but meanwhile, lets get back to Anna Nicole Smith. Anna Nicole Smith was an actress. No, wait. Not exactly. Anna Nicole Smith was a TV star. Well, not that, either. I give up. I really dont know what she was.
Trust me, though. Nearly everybody claims to be the father of her baby because of the inheritance. Did I mention that she once married a 90-year-old billionaire?
Now everybody claims to be the father. Barack Obama claims to be the father, as does Rudy Giuliani and John Edwards and John McCain and even Hillary Clinton.
Mitt Romney is the latest to claim fathership. Oh dear, my mistake. These are people running for president.
Never mind. Thats what happens when all the news is about Anna Nicole Smith, but not totally. Theres been other news.
Before Anna Nicole Smith, we were obsessed round-the-clock and round-the-dials with a jealous lady astronaut who wanted to send a romantic rival to the moon with one punch. This story was big at the time but its old now so theres no sense in recapping, except that theres always more on this if you tune in Greta or Geraldo, both of whom, incidentally, are also on top of the Anna Nicole Smith saga, naturally.
Before all that? Are you kidding me? Before all that we had the Super Bowl. For weeks leading up to this we had experts, across all the dials, discussing the commercials, the half-time show, and even the game. Like everyone else in America, I watched the game. Please dont ask me who played. All I remember is that one team won, the other team lost.
But now, all thats done, so we can really concentrate on Anna Nicole Smith.
To my friends in Israel, listen, please dont be so quick to give up any more territory. Youre not doing us any favors and we have more important business.
Well get back to you after were done with Anna Nicole Smith, if that ever happens.
One more quick note. Canvass any street in America and, Ill bet, only one person in 10 can name the prime minister of Israel you know, whats his name.
Anna Nicole's death reminds the nation of Marilyn, except for the talent part.
or "Rotting meat more relevant than the fate of the world".
I have certainly become more and more disappointed with FOX News.
Roger that, FOX, like SeeBS, NBCr*p, & AlwaysBCr*p are entertainment companies, which all have a self-interest in promoting celebrity garbage. Finding myself surfing away from celebrity trash reports anything else.
Wife and I went to the noon service. She was out in public all afternoon, and answered many questions about the ashen cross on her forehead. A witness to (fellow) Christian and non-Christian alike!
Me too. I got home at 8:30 last night and serfed channels and settled on an old Andy Griffin show. Then at 9:00 O'Reilly was no better. I tuned back into him for the Letters.
Even Glenn Beck tonight.
My suggestion...cremate the body, divide the ashes in 3 portions. Put the baby, without the money, up for adoption to a deserving childless couple. Give all the money to deserving charity. Charge Stern with murder of both Smiths.
"She's wiping everything (except perhaps Britney Spears) off the news, so don't feel bad."
The naughty astronaut lady should let drop a flower upon the grave of Anna Nicole Smith..
It's pathetic that people pay attention to this drivel.
See what is being done to fathers divorced by their wives in Israel. If you can understand the truth behind that wrongful policy, you'll understand as to why America is more concerned about celebrities and idolatry than about life-and-death policies.
Im so pissed off at fox news right now. What pack of dumbasses do they have running the show over there? Hey fox, we dont care about the trailer trash Ok? Back to what really matters.
Youve persuaded me to put on Some Like it Hot, not that it took much arm-twisting.