Mugabe Says He Will Free All His People from the Burden of Toil
Aiming to build upon government confiscation of hundreds of white-owned farms that has helped propel Zimbabwe to a 1,600 percent inflation rate, while simultaneously boosting unemployment to 80 percent of the workforce, President Robert Mugabe now plans to nationalize the countrys diamond resources. Zimbabwe has two diamond mines: Murowa, which is owned by Rio Tinto and Riozim, and the privately-owned River Ranch.
Mugabe emphasized that seizing the mines is merely the next step in his plan to totally Africanize Zimbabwes economy. Zimbabwe is a black mans country, Mugabe said. Its resources must be owned by the black man. I am that man. Under Mugabes Africanization plan, title to all properties will be placed in his name and held in trust for the benefit of the Zimbabwean people.
Progress toward a socialist utopia was on track, according to Mugabe. We are as close as any country has been to achieving Marxs vision of the withering away of the state, Mugabe bragged. Cuba may be the darling of the media, but it is we who have enabled 80% of our workers to join the leisure class, not they. And we are, I believe, very close to relieving all of our people from the burdens of toil.
In an effort to rebut concerns that upcoming elections will be rigged, Mugabe gave his personal pledge that the vote, scheduled for June, would be free and fair. Mugabe insisted that it was inconceivable that the opposition party, the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC), could win a majority of the 120 seats being contested. Jimmy Carter will be overseeing the elections, Mugabe said. If Morgan Tsvangirai, the MDC leader, can win, under such circumstances, then we will know for sure that we have been visited upon by the devil.
Ailing Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, labeled Mugabes claims idle boasts. Castro insisted that his people had so much leisure time that hundreds of thousands have taken up sailing. Many have built their own boats, Castro pointed out. Unfortunately, too many of them have been kidnapped by American pirates before we could rescue them.
Is this satire ? Sad, if not.
That's some really laughable stuff! Is that satire or real?