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SELF-ESTEEM MOVEMENT HAS POISONED A GENERATION
boblonsberry.com ^ | 02/28/07 | Bob Lonsberry

Posted on 03/01/2007 7:00:19 AM PST by shortstop

The chickens have come home to roost.

The first generation of students swaddled in the insanity of the self-esteem movement have emerged on the scene as arrogant, self-absorbed twits with an exaggerated sense of entitlement and self-importance.

In short, they’ve been spoiled. Potentially, they’ve been ruined.

The idiocy of social engineering in the classroom is again bearing catastrophic results.

Here’s how we know. A group of five university professors has evaluated more than 16,000 personality profiles of college students gathered over the last 24 years. What they’ve discovered is that today’s young people have dramatically different self-concepts than the two generations which preceded them.

And the differences aren’t good.

Today’s college students are monumentally more narcissistic. That means they worship themselves. That means they’ve been told that they’re special so many times that they’ve come to believe it. In blunt terms, they think their crap doesn’t stink.

But it does. Possibly more than most.

Because one of the hallmarks of an inflated self-concept is personal failure. People who think they are superior have an uncanny tendency to be inferior. Their sense of worth is so high they have no motivation to work and improve themselves. When you think the world is yours on a silver platter, it never occurs to you that you’ve got to get off your backside and earn anything.

The study shows that children born after 1982 have a unrealistically inflated self-concepts. So high is their estimation of themselves, in fact, that they are fully narcissistic – a trait that is somewhere in the gray area between a character flaw and a personality disorder. Narcissism is such an unhealthy aberration that it is almost a mental illness.

And the self-esteem movement of the 1990s has made it epidemic.

Unfortunately, the education industry has become so divorced from reality that for several years the conventional wisdom in American classrooms has been that children – particularly poor and minority children – fail to achieve because they have negative self-concepts. The way to correct that, the argument has gone, is to pump up their self-concepts through self-esteem building. That typically translated to unrealistic and unearned praise for students, and the removal of all negative feedback and consequences from the classroom. That’s why grades are artificially high, everybody gets a smiley face and teachers don’t use red ink any more.

Schools seem incapable of recognizing that true self-worth comes from doing what’s right and from legitimate achievement. Not praise passed out like candy, but genuine achievement coming as the consequence of significant effort. You earn worth, it isn’t given out for free.

The lunacy of the education reformers was matched by the leniency of the troubled homes. Mom and dad have forgotten how to be mom and dad. Children were waited on hand and foot with no obligations of their own to work or assist the family. Permissive parenting and failed educating led to a bumper crop of egocentric creeps.

And that’s going to hurt.

Because narcissists typically fail. They fail in their responsibility to be good citizens and they fail in their responsibility to be good spouses and parents.

Being a good citizen and being part of a family requires selflessness. They require putting your own interests second to the interests of something larger and more important than yourself. To the narcissist, there is nothing more important than yourself.

That leads to employment and self-reliance difficulties, and to significant challenges to the ability to maintain a marriage and raise a family.

Which bites society hard. Society needs this crop of young adults – like every crop of young adults – to assume its responsibilities as the taxpayers and the parents of the future. Each rising tide needs to shoulder its burdens and leave its mark. Failure to do that can have huge sociological consequences.

This crop has been weakened in its abilities to bear off those responsibilities by the warped worldview its education and upbringing gave it.

So what can be done?

The self-esteem crap can end. Though it is so entrenched and unquestioned, and protected by political correctness, that it is unlikely to go anywhere.

Young people must learn – with the help of others – that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and that believing it does is the quickest way to a miserable and disappointing life.

The social and religious values of the United States – and of decent nations all around the world – teach selflessness and service. Those values must be re-enthroned and the self-worship of the narcissism-breeding self-esteem movement must end.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: education; feminism; feminization; lonsberry; moralabsolutes; narcissism; narcissists; selfesteem
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Young people must learn – with the help of others – that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and that believing it does is the quickest way to a miserable and disappointing life.
1 posted on 03/01/2007 7:00:22 AM PST by shortstop
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To: shortstop

The feminization of America...we're seeing the results everywhere...in academia, in the business world, in government, and most unfortunately, in the military.


2 posted on 03/01/2007 7:04:03 AM PST by Hildy (RINO - Rudy Is Number One!!)
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To: shortstop
The real world will be a sobering experience for these narcissistic twits ...
for most reality will set in sometime in their late twenties.
3 posted on 03/01/2007 7:06:40 AM PST by BluH2o
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To: shortstop
We see the most repugnant of these " arrogant, self-absorbed twits" delivering our evening news, writing for our newspapers, and taking their places in Hollywood. They have plenty of aged role models like John Kerry, Jane Fonda and Al Franken.
4 posted on 03/01/2007 7:08:07 AM PST by Brad from Tennessee (Anything a politician gives you he has first stolen from you)
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To: shortstop

So if you're counting on social security to retire on, these are the folks who'll be supplying it.


5 posted on 03/01/2007 7:08:13 AM PST by D.P.Roberts (Just a humble handbasket salesman- what size would you like, sir?)
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To: shortstop

Our enemies are licking their chops, just waiting for Generation Emo to take over...


6 posted on 03/01/2007 7:08:46 AM PST by WhistlingPastTheGraveyard ("and alllll the children are insane")
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To: Hildy

And when institutions like education become dysfunctional, people find other paths to success.


7 posted on 03/01/2007 7:09:44 AM PST by ClaireSolt (Have you have gotten mixed up in a mish-masher?)
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To: Hildy

"The feminization of America..."

I could not agree with you more!
There has to be a balance, feminine sensiblilities temper masculine drives. Go to either extreme and you have a mess. We've chosen the feminine route. I saw this coming for a long time.
I can't tell you how stupid I thought it was when coaching in Y baseball leagues, (early ages), and they didn't keep score. "We are all winners". Bull! Sure, it made some of the kids happy, the kids that will ultimately end up working for the ones who knew the score and played to win.

On the bright side, a trend that was going on when I was in my late 20s was to fire older workers and replace them with eager kids. Now that I'm nearing 50, that's not an issue. Any business knows it's a mistake to fire a worker with a good skillset and work ethic, to take a chance on what you get with kids today.


8 posted on 03/01/2007 7:13:43 AM PST by brownsfan (It's not a war on terror... it's a war with islam.)
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To: shortstop

I know so many families where the kid (usually there's only one, at the most two, siblings,) is a spoiled and pampered brat. They don't know what the word "chore" is. The parents think it would be child abuse to make their little darlings do anything resembling a "chore." Oftentimes the parents even do the kids' homework for them. Moms will call each other on the phone asking, "Do you know the answer to question 17 on the history homework?" Then the parents whine about how mean and unfair it is that their little darlings have to carry so many books in their backpacks and those horrible teachers give TWO HOURS of homework a night! Why, the poor, overworked little dears.

What's more, the kids rule the roost. No family decision is made without first getting the approval of the little prince or princess. I know 14-year-olds who literally have never made a sandwich or heated up something in a microwave. They are chauffeured everywhere, have never been on a bus, then they get new cars for their 16th birthdays. They are surly and rude to adults, and they always have earphones in their ears.

But their self-esteem is really, really high.


9 posted on 03/01/2007 7:13:45 AM PST by Nea Wood
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To: Hildy
"The feminization of America...we're seeing the results everywhere...in academia, in the business world, in government, and most unfortunately, in the military."

Exactly right.

And this will be the undoing of America. A feminized nation doesn't have the strength to stand against patriarchial societies like China, Russia, Islam, etc.

In short, unless this is reversed... we're destined to speak 'french'.

10 posted on 03/01/2007 7:14:11 AM PST by GourmetDan
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To: shortstop

narcissism bump for later.........


11 posted on 03/01/2007 7:18:05 AM PST by indthkr
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To: shortstop

Orthodox Christians know that self-esteem is a vice. Indeed it is one of the eight grevious vices catalogued by St. John Cassian (the other seven are familar to Western Christians as 'the seven deadly sins'). Some Greek Fathers, like the Latin, don't separate it out from pride, as the following apothegem from the Desert Father shows:

One of the Fathers said, "only perfect humility or perfect pride will allow one to ignore the opinions of men."

The 'self-esteem' movement tries (alas it still continues) to prevent children from yielding to peer pressure by inculcating perfect pride, rather than perfect humility. Not the demonic pride of setting oneself against God, but self-esteem, regarding oneself as better than others, not subject to criticism or correction.

In connection with that saying, the Father told of a monk who bore insults with complete equanimity, but when asked how, replied, "it is the barking of dogs."

Self-esteem creates disobedient monks, uneducable students, and bad citizens.


12 posted on 03/01/2007 7:18:30 AM PST by The_Reader_David (And when they behead your own people in the wars which are to come, then you will know. . .)
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To: brownsfan
"We are all winners".

Pizza party and trophys for all! Most improved, cleanest uniform, best after game snacks, shortest throw, etc. etc.

13 posted on 03/01/2007 7:19:21 AM PST by showme_the_Glory (No more rhyming, and I mean it! ..Anybody want a peanut.....)
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To: shortstop
This study is drap unless three criteria have been met:

1. Randon sample

2. Statistically significant representative population

3. Causality shown

14 posted on 03/01/2007 7:20:54 AM PST by pabianice (LLY)
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To: shortstop

Go figure... the Me Generation has raised the MeMeMe Generations. It just immanentizes the eschaton so what the heck.


15 posted on 03/01/2007 7:21:50 AM PST by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: showme_the_Glory

But here's the worst thing about that kind of feel good education in young children. They experience that in school, but then when viewing what goes on in the real world, it has to be so confusing. Everything from sporting events to American Idol...only one wins and they are celebrated like Gods. I can't even imagine what young kids have to go through these days. We're seeing it in teenagers. The craziness, the depression. They're not self-assured...they're depressed and confused. And we did it to them.


16 posted on 03/01/2007 7:22:44 AM PST by Hildy (RINO - Rudy Is Number One!!)
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To: GourmetDan
"In short, unless this is reversed... we're destined to speak 'french'"

Not all narcissists act "French" and run for the hills. Hitler was a narcissist, and probably so was Sadam Hussein.

No matter what their temperment, narcissists are usually trouble.
17 posted on 03/01/2007 7:24:26 AM PST by indthkr
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To: shortstop

It's kinda like having a car that is really a pile of junk, but you paint it up to look really nice and expect a good ride.


18 posted on 03/01/2007 7:24:49 AM PST by jwparkerjr
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To: showme_the_Glory

School Honors programs... husband leaned over and asked me if it just wouldn't be simpler to call out the names of anyone who DIDN'T get an award ;}


tatt


19 posted on 03/01/2007 7:28:05 AM PST by thesearethetimes...
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To: shortstop

Hence the lawsuit explosion. I couldn't possibly have done something wrong, it's somebody else's fault.


20 posted on 03/01/2007 7:28:29 AM PST by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: shortstop

I have noticed my own son suffering from this and he is only 7. We would play a game of basketball in his room (with a really small hoop and ball) and if he fails he would go into a crying tizzy and say that me making his move further back hurts his feelings and he can't make any shots.

I try to tell him that to become more successful at basketball and everything in life is to practice. Practice in failure and practice in success and eventually, failure wont happen as much as success.

At only 7, its a difficult concept for him especially with todays public schools (and our school is a really good public school but is still infected with this self-esteem social engineering issue).

I hope to work with him again tonight and for as long as it takes that failure is a building block to success. You cannot succeed in life without learning how to deal with failures.

Basically, my kid needs to practice failing and how to deal with it. Wish me luck.


21 posted on 03/01/2007 7:29:42 AM PST by smith288
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To: shortstop
Hey I will admit their are a lot of brats in my generation.

But folks from other generations probably should not be sitting so high up on that pedestal. After all, were not the ones who thought our selves to be so important that society must feed us (food stamps), shelter us (public housing), provide our health care (Medicare and Medicaid and schip), and give us cash (tanf).

We are not the ones who say "our kids can go F**k themselves I want my benefits" when they refuse to reform social security and medicare which will leave us with a tax burden similar to that of Sweden.

I admit their are brats amongst my ranks but to the boomer's out their moaning about us brats, ain't that the pot calling the kettle black. And oh yeah, you made us that way!
22 posted on 03/01/2007 7:30:50 AM PST by spikeytx86 (Pray for Democrats for they have been brainwashed by their fruity little club.)
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To: shortstop

IMHO this is a big reason for the epidemic of shootings also.

In previous years a schoolyard fight resulted with one winning and the other losing, sulking home. A few days later the loser was admitted back into the circle.

Today the loser cannot accept the result because he has been indoctrinated to believe that he has to be the winner. That his stance trumps all.
So he goes home gets a gun and enforces his righful place on top.


23 posted on 03/01/2007 7:31:56 AM PST by Vinnie (You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Jihads You)
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To: shortstop
The "professional educators" have been damaging this nation for the last forty years.

It is time to fire all the teachers and hire new ones.

Old ones who want to reapply may do so -- but much first verify that they opposed the damaging practices of their colleagues during the decades of decline.
24 posted on 03/01/2007 7:33:02 AM PST by BenLurkin
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To: Hildy

Good point.


25 posted on 03/01/2007 7:34:06 AM PST by eyedigress
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To: jiggyboy
Yep it's all us snot nosed teenagers and twenty somethings clogging up the courtrooms, certainly not middle aged losers looking for a pay day from McDonald's because golly gee the coffee was hot!!
26 posted on 03/01/2007 7:34:19 AM PST by spikeytx86 (Pray for Democrats for they have been brainwashed by their fruity little club.)
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To: indthkr
"Not all narcissists act "French" and run for the hills. Hitler was a narcissist, and probably so was Saddam Hussein."

Wasn't talking about narcissists...

27 posted on 03/01/2007 7:34:35 AM PST by GourmetDan
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To: smith288

"I hope to work with him again tonight and for as long as it takes that failure is a building block to success. You cannot succeed in life without learning how to deal with failures.

Basically, my kid needs to practice failing and how to deal with it. Wish me luck."

You love him, and are aware. You fellas will do just fine :)

tatt


28 posted on 03/01/2007 7:34:38 AM PST by thesearethetimes...
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To: shortstop
The social and religious values of the United States – and of decent nations all around the world – teach selflessness and service.

And so does every Marxist and tyrant on Earth. Ask the Chinese government about the importance of their subjects practicing selflessness.

Why must Right and Left alike confuse genuine, healthly self-esteem and self-love with unhealthy, ego-based self-indulgence? They aren't the same thing at all, but neither side seems to get it - Lonsberry is as far off-base as the Leftist educators he is criticizing.

29 posted on 03/01/2007 7:35:29 AM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("Wise men don't need to debate; men who need to debate are not wise." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: The_Reader_David
Orthodox Christians know that self-esteem is a vice.

As do Catholic, although as you note we see it as a species of Pride.

I find it interesting that much evil in modernity is associated with this vice: The self-esteem thing, "Gay Pride", various forms of "Racial" Pride, etc.

30 posted on 03/01/2007 7:36:39 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is aborting, buggering, and contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: spikeytx86

Amen!


31 posted on 03/01/2007 7:36:58 AM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed less people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: shortstop

The emphasis on group projects in schools prevents kids from learning what their strengths and weaknesses are, too. Kids learn to pick a partner who will do the work for the group.


32 posted on 03/01/2007 7:37:54 AM PST by syriacus (If Al Gore's friends misplace a decimal point and cool the Earth too much, we're doomed.)
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To: Nea Wood
What you posted is great news....In the 'real' world they are the competition (these narcissists), and all folks on FR have raised competitors...Time to rejoice...!!
33 posted on 03/01/2007 7:40:08 AM PST by dakine
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To: The_Reader_David

I prefer the word vanity to pride. Maybe pride was a translation error and it should have been vanity. Being proud of doing a job well done is not a sin. Being vain is. Envy is closely coupled with vanity. Envy is the origin of most of the evil in the world. But with pride there is no envy.


34 posted on 03/01/2007 7:40:15 AM PST by Reeses
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To: Mr. Jeeves

Good Self-esteem is understanding you are a worthy person and wont let anyone downsize you as not because you believe in yourself to accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

Kids today dont have good self-esteem. They are self-centered buttholes who expect the world to hand them success without working for it. Goals arent things for them to accomplish, its things that should be granted to them.


35 posted on 03/01/2007 7:40:28 AM PST by smith288
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To: thesearethetimes...
You love him, and are aware. You fellas will do just fine :)

I do very much so and thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

36 posted on 03/01/2007 7:42:09 AM PST by smith288
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To: BenLurkin
I am a teacher. I am up against welfare cases constantly, which means that the students don't want to do any work or behave in class because there are never any consequences. My union is a crock of shi*.

I refuse to teach my history students that the Constitution is a living document, which is in all text books. I also inform them about the Venona Project when I teach them about McCarthyism and the Cold War.

There are many of us who are trying to make a difference in a broken system. Some teachers actually want to educate and not indoctrinate.
37 posted on 03/01/2007 7:44:59 AM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed less people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: shortstop

38 posted on 03/01/2007 7:47:20 AM PST by Gritty (A hallmark of an inflated self-concept is personal failure. Narcissists typically fail-Bob Lonsberry)
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To: Hildy

Well, they know better, and they know what happens at school is gay. It probably only makes things worse though, because it makes them think they're smarter than their teachers, administrators, coaches, etc. Which they just might be.


39 posted on 03/01/2007 7:49:34 AM PST by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: smith288
When my daughter was 5 she would cry because I beat her at a game (Candyland). I would laugh and tell her I won fair and square! Needless to say the game sat in her closed with dust for years. Anyway she is a good kid (12) and I am grooming her for a future Republican Party position. Right now I am on the Global Warming nonsense and I told her any mention of this in school I want to know right away.
40 posted on 03/01/2007 7:55:58 AM PST by angcat ("IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM")
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To: jwparkerjr

I just watched the Southpark episode where the teacher got a sex change operation and then was furious to find out he couldn't get pregnant. Then Kyle's father gets a dolphinoplasty to become a dolphin. Then Kyle gets a negroplasty to become a tall black kid so he can make the basketball team (the coach has previously told him jews can't play basketball.) They find out that the dolphin dad can't swim, and the kid can't play basketball without his knees exploding. It's all appearances. It doesn't change the reality.


41 posted on 03/01/2007 7:56:00 AM PST by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: D.P.Roberts

And when we get to the retirement home, they'll make GREAT caretakers. Oy vay......


42 posted on 03/01/2007 7:56:00 AM PST by Frank_2001
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To: Nea Wood

I think lots of young adults/teenagers are self absorbed but some of your examples are bad.

First, kids never being on a bus. There is no way I would let my kids ride these days. We live in San Jose, California, and it is way too dangerous for them to ride on a bus. When they were little, their school district had bus service from near our house to school. My kids rode that bus. However, then the district changed it so the bus stop was over a mile away and the pick up time was 2 1/2 hours before school (6:30am). My kids were 6 & 8 at the time, and the school was only 3 1/2 miles away. I preferred us waking up at 7:30 and me driving them to school.

Two hours of homework for little kids is too much school work! Maybe in high school, 2 hours is okay but not 2 hours for elementary school kids. (I never had more than 1 hour of homework until high school back in the 70s.)

As far as backpacks go, lots of kids are having problems with heavy packpacks. My niece severely injurred her back when she was in high school. (I never had to carry so many books to and from school.)

I think kids never going to Church/Synagogue has a lot to do with their self-esteem problems. If kids know that they are sinful, and they know that God is greater than themselves, then it helps them to have a better perspective.

Parents are also self-absorbed these days and send kids to daycare all day long. Parents then can't role model good behavior. Simple things like making cookies for the new neighbor or helping a sick friend.


43 posted on 03/01/2007 7:56:07 AM PST by luckystarmom
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To: goodwithagun

" There are many of us who are trying to make a difference in a broken system. "


Thank you! I believe that taking back the education system, or at the very least providing strong alternatives, is something we must do if we are going to right this ship. Thank you for holding the fort in your classroom everyday, proving to your students that there is another side to every story, and that they will be better off if they learn to look for it, and then decide for themselves.

tatt


44 posted on 03/01/2007 8:00:06 AM PST by thesearethetimes...
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To: spikeytx86

I think we're talking about YOUR kids, Spikey.


45 posted on 03/01/2007 8:02:47 AM PST by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: ichabod1
Holy crap do you know something I dont know!! DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!!!! J/K

I hope to be a better parent to my kids then the parents some of my friends had. I will let my children know that no matter how well off me and their mother are, THEY are poor. If they want something outside of necessities they can get a job. Little billy wants a new car? I'll spring for the classifieds.
46 posted on 03/01/2007 8:07:59 AM PST by spikeytx86 (Pray for Democrats for they have been brainwashed by their fruity little club.)
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To: Nea Wood

l have two Granddaughters who are exactly what you wrote about.My Daughter has kept them in a cocoon.The older girl is in University and has never been on a city bus.lt isn't safe for her to travel anywhere alone.The girls have never done a chore.Even putting their clothes away after Mom has done the laundry is just too much for them.l don't know how they will ever be able to take care of themselves.Another thing, they have never been critized.l can't ever imagine either of them in the workforce.The first negative thing spoken to them will have them in tears.l get so frustrated with my Daughter but there is nothing l can do.The damage began when the girls were young children .


47 posted on 03/01/2007 8:08:33 AM PST by lindsay
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To: smith288

You're doing the RIGHT thing....good luck. Your son will be much stronger in life because of it!


48 posted on 03/01/2007 8:09:26 AM PST by goodnesswins (We need to cure Academentia)
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To: luckystarmom
Two hours of homework for little kids is too much school work! Maybe in high school, 2 hours is okay but not 2 hours for elementary school kids. (I never had more than 1 hour of homework until high school back in the 70s.)

My friend called the school and asked them why they assigned the kids homework that they couldn't possibly do without help of their parent. The answer was "we think it fosters quality time between parent and child." She answered that the time she spent helping her child with her schoolwork was NOT quality time, it was tense, frustrated time, and besides how DARE they try to manipulate her and run her life through her child! Didn't do any good.

49 posted on 03/01/2007 8:09:50 AM PST by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: angcat

Ha....I taught my grandson how to play ping pong....he started when he was about 4.....he got REALLY good and could almost beat me by the time he was 10....and I'm VERY good for a "girl"......I NEVER let him win.....I told him I was his COACH! I know I helped him, considering his mother and her child raising ways (My DIL - long story).


50 posted on 03/01/2007 8:14:55 AM PST by goodnesswins (We need to cure Academentia)
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