Mayan Priests To Kill Extra Chickens, Goats, To Purge Country Following Bush Visit

thenoseonyourface.com ^ | March 12, 2007 | Buckley F. Williams

[NYTexan]

President Bush’s most recent trip to Latin America has brought with it the standard anti-U.S. protests. Most of these being nearly identical to the ones that are regularly held on weekdays in the United States where participants are not actually missing work, American flags are lit on fire, and rioters hold poorly spelled signs and scream in broken English.

By some estimates, the most recent protest in Bogata drew as many as 250-300 Third Worlders who took time out of their busy schedules of chewing coca leaves, kidnapping for ransom, and playing soccer with rolled up rags on dirt lawns, to attack Mr. Bush.

For the most part, the crowd was fairly reserved. Some burned the president in effigy. Others threw homemade explosives called “potato bombs”. While others merely fired randomly into the crowd with assault weapons. However, one protester crossed the line screaming “Bush is a faggot!”, and had to be forcibly removed by UN forces.

The President can expect a similar reaction when he visits Guatemala today where local priests have vowed to “purify” the sacred Mayan religious site that he will be visiting.

“Bush is a very, very bad man,” said Mayan religious leader Acat Cuxtal (pictured at right). “We will have to use powerful magic to rid our country of his foul stench. Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site at Iximche after this devil leaves.”

Cuxtal went on to say that goats and chickens are not the typical sacrificial symbols, but circumstances have dictated that they be used.

“Traditionally we would sacrifice a virgin in such a serious situation,” Cuxtal told a TNOYF reporter. “However, that all changed after your last president was in town. By the time he left, the closest thing to a virgin we could find was a 45-year-old syphilitic with a chronic yeast infection.”

[NYTexan]

[Jedi Master Pikachu]

A new list:

	pan-Latin America pinglist.* This pinglist covers a broad range of topics relating to Latin America: culture, current events, politics, science, history, arts, etc. Warning: This could be a moderate/high volume pinglist. Note: The pinglist does not cover topics pertaining to Latinos in the USA. Ping if you see a pertinent thread.
*To get on or off this list, freepmail with the subjects Latin America on or Latin America off . No message is necessary. To get on or get off this pinglist, freepmail here, with the appropriate subject.
There is also a pan-Asia pinglist.
This pinglist can terminate at any time, without notice.

[keats5]

Nice earmuffs!

[elephantlips]

Haven't the demon-rats already tried that?

[NYTexan]

Pinging the usual suspects! (and some unusual ones too!)



(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)

[Calpernia]

>>>one protester crossed the line screaming “Bush is a faggot!”

John Edwards, is that you?

[Clara Lou]

These native people must be very well off and well fed if they have "extra" chickens and goats around.

[jazusamo]

John Edwards, is that you?

He was sent to rehab along with the 45-year-old syphilitic with a chronic yeast infection.

[unkus]

PETA won't like this.

[snarks_when_bored]

Virgin sacrifice alert...

[big'ol_freeper]

I bet John Skerry and Pelosi Galore are glad they did not travel with the President. Why with them killing additional chickens and (old) goats their lives would have been in jeopardy.

[massgopguy]

Real bleepin' civilized of you.

[Calpernia]

gross :P

[NYTexan]

LMAO!

[trumandogz]

No, PETA is Conflicted.

[ishabibble]

>>>Cuxtal went on to say that goats and chickens are not the typical sacrificial symbols, but circumstances have dictated that they be used.<<<

HOW MUCH BRIBE MONEY DID THIS COST?

Cuxtal, you ignorant slut, GWB would do far better for you than your own corrupt gov't. Ever heard of Foxwoods?

[Michael Barnes]

please tell me this is a spoof piece..

[gathersnomoss]

Please don't tell me that they are choking those defenseless chickens.

[Enosh]

"Acat Cuxtal"

Acat - god of beautification (tattoos)
Cuxtal - god of childbirth

So translated means, "Beautiful Child"?

[gathersnomoss]

Huh?

[Rio]

Can he hear the ocean?

[A message]

“We will have to use powerful magic to rid our country of his foul stench. Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site at Iximche after this devil leaves.”

I wonder if they are advanced enough to use Geico.

Maybe Geico should change their advertising campaign to, " So easy to use even an illiterate bloodthirsty Mayan priest can use it."

[elpinta]

Ohhhh, what a civilized and highly educated place that is!

[Hi Heels]

Some days you wake up, read the news over your cereal box, look around and think....eesh, where did all the knuckle dragging nutzoids come from..... Is virtually every country on the planet infected with primitive stoopidity virus?

[isom35]

let's send a PETA team to the area.

[wjcsux]

Please don't tell me that they are choking those defenseless chickens.
Spanking the monkey's is next.

[Clara Lou]

Didja wanna translate your post into something meaningful? I sure don't know what you're talking about.

[Larry Lucido]

Well, now I DO mind the mayans.

[SmithL]

If they'd tried that while the President was still there, he could have given them barbecuing tips.

[MarineBrat]

Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site...

[johnthebaptistmoore]

Stupid is as stupid does.

[tired1]

that guy looks like gang banger I saw in NJ a few months ago. wonder what his real story is.

[Billthedrill]

You gotta understand these are the guys that got their butts handed to them by a handful of Spaniards with pig-stickers and halitosis, so please make allowances. The Prez likes to sacrifice a steer or two himself, but I draw the line at goat even with the finest Texas barbecue sauce. It tastes like...goat...

[PzLdr]

Extra chickens and goats? Is there a Dem Congressional party traveling with the Prez?

[Leftism is Mentally Deranged]

Savage barbarians trying to be PC?

[popdonnelly]

The American moonbats will be trying this next.

[JB in Whitefish]

Well, I guess that's better than killing diplomats...???




[or not]

[keats5]

If you look at my original post, I was referring to the photo in post #1.

[cbkaty]

More good news for the central American travel industry.......BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

When will they sacrifice a United States citizen? Maybe they have already.......

[nonsporting]

Mayan Priests To Kill Extra Chickens, Goats, ...

Shouldn't they be cutting the heart out of some two-legged "volunteer"?

[festus]

Must be that organic diesel thats made from left over vegetable oil at fast food resturants.

[gathersnomoss]

I know. The shells over the ears made it difficult to....never mind.

[Jo Nuvark]

[... Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site ...]

I wonder if those would be "Right Wing" Chickens?

[keats5]

LOL.

I get it.

I catch on............fast.

[Jo Nuvark]

Just trying to get your goat ...




... sacrificed.

[skinkinthegrass]

“Traditionally we would sacrifice a virgin in such a serious situation,” Cuxtal told a TNOYF reporter. “However, that all changed after your last president was in town. By the time he left, the closest thing to a virgin we could find was a 45-year-old syphilitic with a chronic yeast infection.”

thanks, Tex
.....how is Shrillary? LOL! :D

[Jo Nuvark]

Shrillary... the first FAUWMALE running for President.

[Jo Nuvark]

Shrillary... the first FAUXMALE running for President.