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Amish Girls Gone Wild
Cleveland Scene ^ | March 14, 2007 | Denise Grollmus

Posted on 03/14/2007 5:08:50 PM PDT by Dan Evans

Behind the bonnet is a girl who just wants to have fun -- and another beer, please.

It's Friday night at Twister's. Tina launches the evening with a tallboy of Sparks. Customers eyeball her white bonnet and shin-grazing dress as she sips from her can of malt liquor and caffeine. She's used to the gawking. Impolite scrutiny comes with being Amish.

"Everyone stares at you," she says. "It's not very fun, but I just ignore it."

Besides, Tina's on a mission to get tanked. No amount of rubbernecking can stop her.

The DJ approaches. Rodger Locher, a clean-cut city boy, is what's known as a "Yank," the all-encompassing term for not being Amish. Since he became Twister's resident DJ, Tina's become a regular, obsessed with listening to Beyoncé, the Killers, and Korn over rounds of neon cocktails.

(Excerpt) Read more at clevescene.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Ohio
KEYWORDS: amish
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"While police elsewhere in rural Ohio focus on meth labs and wife-beaters, Middlefield's cops have a curious fetish for busting the Amish.

"June was first pinched at 17. She and her friends had killed a six-pack before hopping in a buggy to buy more. They noticed a cop trailing them and stuffed their mouths with Listerine strips just before they were pulled over. It was no use. Everyone was forced to take a field sobriety test. June failed miserably. The cop delivered her home.

"Tina was once cruising around town with her cousins when one accidentally dropped a 12 of Bud into the street. They were instantly pulled over. "They'd been trailing us for a while," Tina says. "I wasn't even drunk, but they're always following buggies around."

Locher wags his head in agreement. "You'll never see a buggy parked in front of a bar," he says. "They're instant targets."

"Former Chardon Municipal Court Judge Craig Albert admits as much, but cites safety as the reason. "The car will go right into a ditch," Albert says. "But the horses will go right through an intersection. These kids will get in their buggies and pass out and just let the horses head home on their own."

1 posted on 03/14/2007 5:08:55 PM PDT by Dan Evans
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To: Dan Evans

Holy Smokes!

I thought for sure this HAD to be from the 'Onion'!

Unbelievable. If this isn't raw material for Jerry Springer, nothing is.


2 posted on 03/14/2007 5:15:14 PM PDT by mkjessup (If Reagan were still with us, he'd ask us to "win one more for the Gipper, vote for Duncan Hunter!")
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To: Dan Evans

So what are they guilty of, riding a buggy under the influence.


3 posted on 03/14/2007 5:18:32 PM PDT by farlander (Strategery - sure beats liberalism!)
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To: Dan Evans; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Q: What goes "Clip-Clop Clip-Clop Clip-Clop Clip-Clop *BANG* Clip-Clop Clip-Clop Clip-Clop Clip-Clop"?

A. Amish drive-by shooting.


4 posted on 03/14/2007 5:19:04 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: Dan Evans
Behind the bonnet is a girl who just wants to have fun -- and another beer, please.

The sort of brilliant opening line that only a professional no-talent hack journalist could write.

5 posted on 03/14/2007 5:21:19 PM PDT by Steely Tom
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To: mkjessup

We had a local Amish guy that was arrested for DUI in his buggy.He stopped at an intersection in Ashland and passed out.The poor horse didn't know what to do and just stood there through a bunch of light cycles until the cops arrived.


6 posted on 03/14/2007 5:21:38 PM PDT by Farmer Dean (Every time a toilet flushes,another liberal gets his brains.)
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To: mkjessup

The only real misrepresentation in the whole thing is the statement that the Amish lose many of their children. I belive the retention rate is way over 80%.


7 posted on 03/14/2007 5:23:06 PM PDT by Chickensoup (WE are the media....The New Media.)
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To: Dan Evans

Malt liquor and caffeine??? What the heck is she drinking, a Pepsi & Olde English 800 rail mixer?


8 posted on 03/14/2007 5:25:35 PM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist (Good night Chesty, wherever you are!)
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To: Dan Evans

Where are the parents?


9 posted on 03/14/2007 5:25:44 PM PDT by DejaJude
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To: Slings and Arrows
"You'll never see a buggy parked in front of a bar."


10 posted on 03/14/2007 5:27:18 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Dan Evans

What lovely parents.

Leave our religion and we'll never speak to you again. Talk about blackmail.


11 posted on 03/14/2007 5:29:16 PM PDT by JRochelle
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To: farlander

As long as the horse is sober, what's the problem?


12 posted on 03/14/2007 5:29:53 PM PDT by Emmett McCarthy
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To: Emmett McCarthy

13 posted on 03/14/2007 5:31:46 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Chickensoup
The only real misrepresentation in the whole thing is the statement that the Amish lose many of their children. I believe the retention rate is way over 80%.

He was probably relying on old data. About forty years ago they were losing about fifty percent but that has changed in recent years. I've seen figures as high as 90% retained. Since they have about six kids, you can imagine how fast their population is growing. They have increased their numbers by a factor of 36 in the last 100 years.

14 posted on 03/14/2007 5:32:04 PM PDT by Dan Evans
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To: Dan Evans
"....Her cherub face is framed by a starched bonnet, her squat figure submerged in a dowdy dress....."

After the 9th beer and shot, he heard last call, burped once, and blearily thought "Yeah, I'd hit it......"

15 posted on 03/14/2007 5:32:31 PM PDT by GoldCountryRedneck ("There are no stupid questions. There are, however, many inquisitive idiots." - unknown)
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To: Farmer Dean

We had two local Amish boys arrested for dealing cocaine.

Go figure.

The hip-hop culture and moral degredation can infect anybody, even the Amish.


16 posted on 03/14/2007 5:35:10 PM PDT by Erik Latranyi (The Democratic Party will not exist in a few years....we are watching history unfold before us.)
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To: JRochelle
What lovely parents. Leave our religion and we'll never speak to you again. Talk about blackmail.

Seems to work though. They keep most of their kids from going astray. More than we do, anyway.

17 posted on 03/14/2007 5:36:03 PM PDT by Dan Evans
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To: Slings and Arrows; Dan Evans
She's gonna party like it's 1699!


18 posted on 03/14/2007 5:37:24 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: Dan Evans

Courting couples can also get pregnant first before they marry to insure a family.


19 posted on 03/14/2007 5:38:22 PM PDT by spanalot
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To: Dan Evans

The wildest party guy I ever met in college was a Shenandoah Valley Mennonite who turned his back on his faith and was shunned by his family/community.


20 posted on 03/14/2007 5:39:07 PM PDT by Rb ver. 2.0 (A Muslim soldier can never be loyal to a non-Muslim commander.)
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To: Emmett McCarthy
As long as the horse is sober, what's the problem?

They can't give the horse a proper sobriety test. Horses aren't smart enough to blow into the Breathalyzer and when they pee into the cup it makes a horrible mess.

21 posted on 03/14/2007 5:41:08 PM PDT by Dan Evans
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To: spanalot

LOL.

Sorry thats not true. Just a rumor. Although some do get pregnant before they are married, its widely frowned upon.


22 posted on 03/14/2007 5:43:40 PM PDT by JRochelle
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To: mkjessup

Rumspringa


23 posted on 03/14/2007 5:44:05 PM PDT by merry10 (Rudy 08)
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To: Dan Evans

Those ho-downs ain't what they used to be.


24 posted on 03/14/2007 5:44:28 PM PDT by derllak
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To: farlander
I supervised a young man who passed out while driving a buggy. The horse responded when he tipped in the seat by going to the center of the road. A passing milk truck had to swerve, and crashed in the ditch to avoid an accident. The startled horse ran into the other ditch. The young man was barely responsive. There are a lot of Amish in southern Michigan, Indiana and Ohio. There is a good reason to be cautious.
25 posted on 03/14/2007 5:45:30 PM PDT by healy61
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To: BenLurkin

Your photo reminds me of the story of my elderly German aunt who was a young woman living in Germany during WWII, on a farm. She was working in the field one day after the war ended, and some Allied GIs come up and ask her if they can buy any eggs.

Of course, "eggs" in German is "Eier", and so she thought they were asking for an "ax", which sounds amazingly like "eggs." She motions for them to wait, runs into the barn and comes out with an ax, similar to your photo, no doubt.

The GI's turn tail and scoot out of there post haste. She didn't know what to make of it. It was over a decade before someone understanding English explained to her what had transpired. A good laugh, indeed, as she realized that the GI's must have concluded that she was defending her virtue against the Allies who were overpaid, oversexed, and over THERE.


26 posted on 03/14/2007 5:46:30 PM PDT by XEHRpa
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To: pcottraux


How could I forget?!

27 posted on 03/14/2007 5:47:13 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: JRochelle
There is a documentary about the Ahmish rite of passage, Rumspringa, the film is called "Devil's Playground". In it the 16 to 20 year olds basically go wild in full site of their parents; with the boys getting involved in, cell phones, video games, narcotic sales and pornography. The girls pretty much stick to illicit sex and beer. All the while the parents stand back and let the evil work it's way into their children so that they may return as full fledged members of the church. It's very disturbing the way that they give up their moral responsibility as parents and has really altered my view of "the quiet people".

One girl in the film actually left the church and she was shunned by her community, which for her entailed not ever being allowed to see her family, which included brothers and sisters which she had effectively helped to raise for her parents. Very sad.

I do keep in mind that what is presented in a documentary could be slanted by those making the film, but even if this were half true about Amish life it would be an indictment of their culture.

BTW, no mention of how the girls managed to come away from this rite of passage without many of them being knocked up - also no mention of contraception. abortion, or adoptions of unplanned results of getting wild?
28 posted on 03/14/2007 5:47:23 PM PDT by incredulous joe ("Illusion is the first of all pleasures." -- Oscar Wilde)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

> The wildest party guy I ever met in college was a Shenandoah Valley Mennonite who turned his back on his faith and was shunned by his family/community.

Floyd Landis?? Just kidding...


29 posted on 03/14/2007 5:48:44 PM PDT by XEHRpa
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To: Slings and Arrows
LOL

Back around 1998 to 2000 or so there was a Amish band that did parodies of rock n roll songs like 'sweet emotion', it was so funny I bought a few of their tapes.
30 posted on 03/14/2007 5:48:48 PM PDT by RunningWolf (2-1 Cav 1975)
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To: Dan Evans

Well, they could just have them stand on one foot, close their eyes and touch their nose. Or recite the alphabet backwards. I always thought that was just to see if you're drunk enough to even try something that stupid.


31 posted on 03/14/2007 5:49:22 PM PDT by Emmett McCarthy
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To: incredulous joe

"Devil's Playground" - 2002

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293088/


32 posted on 03/14/2007 5:50:26 PM PDT by incredulous joe ("Illusion is the first of all pleasures." -- Oscar Wilde)
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To: RunningWolf

Do you remember the name of the band?


33 posted on 03/14/2007 5:50:32 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: incredulous joe
All the while the parents stand back and let the evil work it's way into their children so that they may return as full fledged members of the church. It's very disturbing the way that they give up their moral responsibility as parents and has really altered my view of "the quiet people".

Why is it disturbing? It makes perfect sense to me. Accepting the Amish religion and lifestyle is not easy and so must be the choice of the person doing it. When they are kids, they have no choice, but every member of the church has made the conscious choice to join as an adult. Given the severity of the punishment from the community when one breaks the rules, you would want your members to join with their eyes wide open.
34 posted on 03/14/2007 5:53:15 PM PDT by fr_freak
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To: incredulous joe

I saw that program,too. Pretty interesting.
Wish I could have partied with those Amish chicks when I was a yute.


35 posted on 03/14/2007 5:54:23 PM PDT by Rakkasan1 ((Illegal immigrants are just undocumented friends you haven't met yet!))
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To: Slings and Arrows

I still have the tapes. I will dig them up.


36 posted on 03/14/2007 5:58:31 PM PDT by RunningWolf (2-1 Cav 1975)
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To: Dan Evans
Tina's become a regular, obsessed with listening to Beyoncé, the Killers, and Korn over rounds of neon cocktails.

Wow, what great taste in music. /sarc

37 posted on 03/14/2007 5:59:46 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Socialism is NOT an American value.)
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To: Dan Evans

We used to have a lot of that here,but lately the Amish dont mix much even before they join the church.

I remember when a bunch of them got motorcycles and stormed up and down the roads. I went to school with a couple of girls who had left the church, They graduated high school with ease .Both were really pretty girls.


38 posted on 03/14/2007 6:05:45 PM PDT by sgtbono2002 (I will forgive Jane Fonda, when the Jews forgive Hitler.)
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To: BenLurkin

Cat Ballou! Lee Marvin was incredible as Kid Shaleen. If only we could edit out Jane Fonda. The scene with him drunk on his horse leaning next to that building is a gem.


39 posted on 03/14/2007 6:05:56 PM PDT by Frank Sheed ("Shakespeare the Papist" by Fr. Peter Milward, S.J.)
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To: Dan Evans
A good depth gage for how deep the erosion of our civilization has reached.

40 posted on 03/14/2007 6:06:15 PM PDT by William Terrell (Individuals can exist without government but government can't exist without individuals.)
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To: incredulous joe
It's very disturbing the way that they give up their moral responsibility as parents and has really altered my view of "the quiet people".

But it sounds like the parents were discouraging her. They told her she was never to wear jeans again. Try that with your daughter sometime.

Reading the story I was somewhat surprised that the Amish kids were "cop magnets". The reason given was that unguided buggies would run red lights. But I suspect that something else is at play. I wouldn't be surprised if the police are encouraged (maybe even money under the table) to bust the kids if they get out of line. Getting a bad taste of the Yankee world could give Amish teens an incentive to stay with the flock.

Rumspringa makes perfect sense. If they are exposed to the outside world but manage to resist the temptations, they will be better off because they will have known what they were giving up. But if they are to leave the community it's better to find out when they are young rather than after they have joined the church.

41 posted on 03/14/2007 6:08:39 PM PDT by Dan Evans
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To: Slings and Arrows; RunningWolf
Were you thinking of Gefilte Joe and the Fish?
42 posted on 03/14/2007 6:09:30 PM PDT by steveo (Is there anything else I can help you with today?)
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To: pcottraux

Is that the guy from Information Society?


43 posted on 03/14/2007 6:11:00 PM PDT by Levante
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To: RunningWolf

Thanks - looking forward to it!


44 posted on 03/14/2007 6:15:18 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: Dan Evans
"Horses aren't smart enough to blow into the Breathalyzer and when they pee into the cup it makes a horrible mess."

Not to mention the fact that most cops don't bring arm length rubber gloves on patrol, that the overspray sure is tough on the regulation shine on the cops jack boots, etc. ;-)

Oh, one more thing - seems that a SF cop got kicked into tomorrow when he "assisted" the horse giving the sample.
45 posted on 03/14/2007 6:17:20 PM PDT by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon Liberty, it is essential to examine principles, - -)
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To: Farmer Dean

Back in the old days in the rural south, the horse knew the way home, even with a passed-out rider.

Not that that ever happened to any of MY family, mind you....


46 posted on 03/14/2007 6:17:46 PM PDT by GadareneDemoniac
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To: Dan Evans
In the late thirties and the forties a couple of Amish renegade boys used to meet us by the old swimming hole so they could ride a bicycle owned by a friend of mine. Very secretive, don't let anybody know, etc. I don' know if they ever got caught or what would have happened if they did. Apparently there was something wrong with bicycles.

Other than these sinners the Amish that I knew were outstanding people. Always willing to help others regardless of religion.

47 posted on 03/14/2007 6:18:44 PM PDT by FreePaul
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To: Frank Sheed
Cat Ballou! Lee Marvin was incredible as Kid Shaleen.

Modern Drunkard Magazine was similarly impressed.

48 posted on 03/14/2007 6:18:44 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: mkjessup

About 10 years ago there was Amish guys running Crystal Meth for a biker gang in Philly.

"Tis a nice looking barn Ewnglish, maybe we can smokith' some meth!"


49 posted on 03/14/2007 6:18:50 PM PDT by Holicheese (I love shrimp and grits.)
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To: Dan Evans
Tina launches the evening with a tallboy of Sparks.

Ugh, if you're gonna drink that you might as well start doing meth.

50 posted on 03/14/2007 6:19:10 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (Hated by all NFL fans since 1990.)
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