Amish Girls Gone Wild

Cleveland Scene ^ | March 14, 2007 | Denise Grollmus

[Dan Evans]

Behind the bonnet is a girl who just wants to have fun -- and another beer, please.

It's Friday night at Twister's. Tina launches the evening with a tallboy of Sparks. Customers eyeball her white bonnet and shin-grazing dress as she sips from her can of malt liquor and caffeine. She's used to the gawking. Impolite scrutiny comes with being Amish.

"Everyone stares at you," she says. "It's not very fun, but I just ignore it."

Besides, Tina's on a mission to get tanked. No amount of rubbernecking can stop her.

The DJ approaches. Rodger Locher, a clean-cut city boy, is what's known as a "Yank," the all-encompassing term for not being Amish. Since he became Twister's resident DJ, Tina's become a regular, obsessed with listening to Beyoncé, the Killers, and Korn over rounds of neon cocktails.

[Dan Evans]

It's very disturbing the way that they give up their moral responsibility as parents and has really altered my view of "the quiet people".

But it sounds like the parents were discouraging her. They told her she was never to wear jeans again. Try that with your daughter sometime.

Reading the story I was somewhat surprised that the Amish kids were "cop magnets". The reason given was that unguided buggies would run red lights. But I suspect that something else is at play. I wouldn't be surprised if the police are encouraged (maybe even money under the table) to bust the kids if they get out of line. Getting a bad taste of the Yankee world could give Amish teens an incentive to stay with the flock.

Rumspringa makes perfect sense. If they are exposed to the outside world but manage to resist the temptations, they will be better off because they will have known what they were giving up. But if they are to leave the community it's better to find out when they are young rather than after they have joined the church.

[steveo]

Were you thinking of Gefilte Joe and the Fish?

[Levante]

Is that the guy from Information Society?

[Slings and Arrows]

Thanks - looking forward to it!

[GladesGuru]

"Horses aren't smart enough to blow into the Breathalyzer and when they pee into the cup it makes a horrible mess."

Not to mention the fact that most cops don't bring arm length rubber gloves on patrol, that the overspray sure is tough on the regulation shine on the cops jack boots, etc. ;-)

Oh, one more thing - seems that a SF cop got kicked into tomorrow when he "assisted" the horse giving the sample.

[GadareneDemoniac]

Back in the old days in the rural south, the horse knew the way home, even with a passed-out rider.

Not that that ever happened to any of MY family, mind you....

[FreePaul]

In the late thirties and the forties a couple of Amish renegade boys used to meet us by the old swimming hole so they could ride a bicycle owned by a friend of mine. Very secretive, don't let anybody know, etc. I don' know if they ever got caught or what would have happened if they did. Apparently there was something wrong with bicycles.

Other than these sinners the Amish that I knew were outstanding people. Always willing to help others regardless of religion.

[Slings and Arrows]

Cat Ballou! Lee Marvin was incredible as Kid Shaleen.

Modern Drunkard Magazine was similarly impressed.

[Holicheese]

About 10 years ago there was Amish guys running Crystal Meth for a biker gang in Philly.

"Tis a nice looking barn Ewnglish, maybe we can smokith' some meth!"

[GOP_Raider]

Tina launches the evening with a tallboy of Sparks.

Ugh, if you're gonna drink that you might as well start doing meth.

[HEY4QDEMS]

It's called Sparx, they're actually not bad but their sweetness makes me certain that they have potential for a major hangover.

[Frank Sheed]

That site is great, but it made me thirsty. I just went in and got a fresh pint of Guinness.

Slainte!

[freedomfiter2]

Sorry thats not true. Just a rumor. Although some do get pregnant before they are married, its widely frowned upon.

In some Amish communities it's acceptable to practice what they call "bed courtship".

[freedomfiter2]

I do keep in mind that what is presented in a documentary could be slanted by those making the film, but even if this were half true about Amish life it would be an indictment of their culture.


I grew up with most of my neighbors being Amish and to this day, many of my friends are still Amish. What you wrote is not far off for some Amish communities. There is a good deal of variation from community to community as to how wild the youth get, but it's universal that the parents are limited by the church in restraining the children. Shunning isn't practiced unless the wayward individual had joined the church. In fact I know of some cases where the father encouraged one of his sons to not join so that he could own a vehicle for the use of the family business.

[sleddogs]

Middlefield was a very rural nice town with respect both ways with the Amish & Yanks. Over the past 10 years the city folks from Cleveland have invaded the town and surrounding area and I fear are slowly pushing the Amish out. Just last year they tried to ban the buggies from the downtown area.

Yes, they do pass out in the buggies. One of my young Amish employees would wake up in the morning in his buggy in the barn as the horse knew the way home. One day he was 2 hours late for work. Here the horse never turned and went all the way to the next town Mesopotamia.

In the 80's the BP station at 422 & 534 was where all the Amish girls changed into their Yank clothes for a night on the town dancing in Warren.

When the elders said it was time to join the Church and get married all that stuff ended.

In the 12 years I worked there I got invited to one barn raising and a wedding. Awesome!!!

Many good times and funny stories.

[SquirrelKing]

YES!!!

[ishabibble]

CLEVELAND SCENE
DENISE GROLLMUS

Ya know, the Amish just recently had a terrible thing happen to them. Some sick pervert broke into a schoolhouse and killed...only the little girls. Why can't people just leave them alone? They don't want this modern society and that is their right.

The Amish are living proof that you can be whatever you want to be in America, and no matter what the problems in your life, some two-bit, lowlife skank, second string, underpaid cubette reporter with her jouro degree from a lousy college aka Mz. Grollmus will be there to suck up every last bit of blood. The Amish really are like anybody else with kids, to do this to them is just plain wrong. Leave those people alone; they aren't bothering anyone.

[freedomfiter2]

You're right about Middlefield being a nice town, my wife's family is from that area. The Amish in that area have a reputation though.

[MrBambaLaMamba]

If Denise Grollmus changed the word Amish to Black, Jewish, Muslim, Mexican or Korean and submitted this piece to the Cleveland Scene would they publish it?

[hydrology_joe]

I can attest to this behavior. I spent my first 25 years growing up in Parkman, OH and have seen amish passed out in their buggies and letting the horse walk home numerous times. I have also seen the aftermath, first-hand, of an accident when the horse didn't stop for a stop sign and the car couldn't stop in time. (Intersection of St Rt 528 & Old State Rd) Amish are notorious for not having their lights on at night as they do not want to run their precious batteries down... so they will wait until a car is almost on top of them to turn on the lights. (the triangles are about worthless) I am assuming that this particular drunk passed out and failed to turn on his lights so the car never saw the buggy until it was too late. I also remember the amish community outrage that the car driver was not charged for killing the amishman... but never was it mentioned about the amishman being intoxicated at the time!

I am not an expert by any means, but from what I have heard growing up in that area, the youth are NOT responsible for their actions until after they join the church. Of course, there are many different sects of Amish religion and each have their own rules, so take it FWIW.

Another major problem that is plaguing the amish in the Parkman/Middlefield area and surrounding communities is meth! They have discovered just how easy it is to make and are now some of the major suppliers of the area. My folks still live in the area and have been dealing with the increased crime that comes with the scourge.