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Using Live Mice...

Posted on 03/20/2007 12:30:33 PM PDT by John Robinson

We technicians here in the Free Republic server room experimented with real mice attached to our computers. Unfortunately, not one mouse survived being plugged-in for more than a few minutes. We've reverted back to the hamsters, they're more durable and they know how to dance to the electronic pop music we enjoy.

You should notice a significant improvement in response time.

Go go hamsters.


TOPICS: Breaking News; Free Republic; US: California
KEYWORDS: fan; guinnessisgoodforyou; himonkeyface; ilovejimrob; mice; molassesmiasma; penguinhumor; penguinseatgerbils; penguinseatmice; savethegerbils; sionnsar; slowdown; zot
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To: John Robinson
There's new stuff in the cooker

Now I know what happened to the mice.

101 posted on 03/20/2007 9:08:21 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("By the way... who is Ben Dayho?" --60Gunner)
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To: John Robinson

My first post. I added California as a topic and am cheering the Robinsons as they improve FReeRepublic.


102 posted on 03/20/2007 9:30:28 PM PDT by Fresno (Go Dogs!!!)
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To: Fresno

Sooooooo, where you at?


103 posted on 03/20/2007 9:37:46 PM PDT by null and void (To Marines, male bonding happens in Boot Camp, to Democrats, it happens at a Gay Pride parade...)
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To: Fresno
My first post. I added California as a topic and am cheering the Robinsons as they improve FReeRepublic.

Awww, that's so nice! Welcome to FRee Republic.

Now, I'm feeling kinda bad that I planned to post the words to Muskrat Love.

104 posted on 03/20/2007 9:38:48 PM PDT by Dianna
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To: Dianna
Muskrat Susie
Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat land
105 posted on 03/20/2007 9:40:01 PM PDT by Dianna
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To: John Robinson

Youse guys rock.


106 posted on 03/20/2007 9:41:39 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Don't question faith. Don't answer lies.)
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To: John Robinson; Slings and Arrows

Did you try such mouse performance enhancing techniques as running three or more mice parallel/in sequence on the same treadmill? Non friction magnetic air bearngs?

And then did you motivate the mice with a concurrent carrot and stick approach. While he is out the on the treadmill, you project a holographic image at his rear of a hawk swooping out of the sky, and to his front an image of miss mouse lounging very seductively, as if waiting just for him.

No let me guess, you did not try any of that. You stuck with the American model of 'there is no substitute for cubic inches' paradigm and you are just going to run the meanest most resource hungry bunch of hamsters you can get to sign up.., sigh


107 posted on 03/20/2007 9:50:30 PM PDT by RunningWolf (2-1 Cav 1975)
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To: John Robinson
I've experimented with mice and hamsters too......
I now use a possum.......
Works great.......
108 posted on 03/20/2007 10:08:07 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: null and void

Sanger, actually, but born and raised in "Fresburg." Thanks!


109 posted on 03/20/2007 10:20:06 PM PDT by Fresno (Go Dogs!!!)
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

Actually I am Mr. TenthAmendmentChampion, who is a first-grade lurker and occasional contributer. I'm happy to be here!


110 posted on 03/20/2007 10:20:06 PM PDT by Fresno (Go Dogs!!!)
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To: Fresno

When I say first-grade, I mean, first rate. Too many Anchor Steams...


111 posted on 03/20/2007 10:23:31 PM PDT by Fresno (Go Dogs!!!)
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To: Fiddlstix
Hhmmm, my very limited knowledge of 'possums' tells me you are running something that you mistook for a possum there. But if he's working for you 'possum' is a good a name as any.
112 posted on 03/20/2007 10:24:47 PM PDT by RunningWolf (2-1 Cav 1975)
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To: John Robinson; Jim Robinson
Somebody has to post it...

IBM "Mouse Balls" memo:

Subject: IBM Ball replacement.....

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.

Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse.

Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.

However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary item.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls

P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

Cheers!

113 posted on 03/20/2007 10:32:23 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: umgud

I thought is was just our %*(#@&$)(* computer again.


114 posted on 03/21/2007 5:07:22 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: John Robinson

115 posted on 03/21/2007 7:49:51 AM PDT by E Rocc (Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
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To: Fresno

LOL, Welcome to FR, FResno...


116 posted on 03/21/2007 8:15:57 AM PDT by null and void (To Marines, male bonding happens in Boot Camp, to Democrats, it happens at a Gay Pride parade...)
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To: nina0113

ping - this is funny.


117 posted on 03/21/2007 10:26:48 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -A.L.)
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To: John Robinson; Seadog Bytes; reagan_fanatic; bitt; MEG33; Hi Heels; PhilDragoo; ntnychik; Millee; ..
Grapevine says you are looking for a substitute for you on the wheel?

Best of luck!


118 posted on 03/21/2007 10:49:52 AM PDT by Lady Jag (A positive attitude will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.)
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To: John Robinson

You WHAT!!!
Of course we didn't do it!
We have more sense than a hamster!

119 posted on 03/21/2007 11:03:18 AM PDT by LUV W (The War On Terror--not a clash between civilizations....it is a clash ABOUT civilization--Rush L.)
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To: John Robinson; Lady Jag

Running smoothly!

120 posted on 03/21/2007 11:28:29 AM PDT by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES.)
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