Posted on 04/05/2007 6:10:42 PM PDT by Eurotwit
They looked like a Vauxhall Conference football team being led out at Wembley by Nora Batty before the final of the Leyland DAF trophy.
Fourteen men kitted out in ill-fitting suits from the local branch of John Collier, John Collier, the window to watch, and a dumpy bird in a Les Dawson headscarf.
They're coming home, they're coming home, they're coming. . .
Blink and it could have been the Guildford branch of the Manchester United supporters' club arriving back at the airport, complaining about being roughed up by the Italian riot police.
I'm sorry if this is going to upset some of you, but, unlike Ayatollah I'madinnerjacket, this column takes no prisoners.
The international image of Britain as Churchillian bulldog has for ever been replaced by this bunch of hapless stooges grinning and waving for the cameras like contestants cosying up to Leslie Crowther in the final frames of The Price Is Right.
Missing you, already. If the British Commonwealth and Empire lasts for a thousand years, no one will ever claim this was their finest hour.
The game's up. Look, I don't blame the unfortunate human ingredients in this pawn cocktail. They were only obeying orders - which, ludicrously, amount to 'surrender first and apologise later'.
The rules of engagement these days have been rinsed in so much fabric softener that I'm astonished our troops are even allowed to carry weapons any more.
Given Gordon Brown's inglorious record of starving the military of the necessary readies, they were probably issued with broom handles and instructed to shout 'Bang, Two, Three' in the face of the enemy, rather like the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard in 1940.
The hostages aren't to blame for this craven and humiliating episode in our history. Despite Tony Blair's bellicose posturing on the international stage, the reality is that the Army, Navy and Air Force are crippled by underfunding and castrated by New Age 'diversity' policies.
Call me old-fashioned, but that young mother should never have been in the front line. And now the hostages are home, their commanding officers should be courtmartialed; whoever happens to be Defence Secretary this week should be forced to resign; Margaret Beckett should be welded into her caravan and pushed off Beachy Head; and the Prime Minister should not be allowed to waltz off into the lucrative sunset of the American lecture circuit - he should be charged with treason and shot.
Instead, Blair goes on television in full People's Princess mode and utters pious platitudes about how he stood firm in the face of Iranian aggression. As the late, great John Junor used to say: "Pass the sick bag, Alice."
If I hadn't paid a small fortune for my plasma screen to watch Spurs in Europe, I'd have put my foot through it.
Let me reiterate, I don't hold the hostages responsible for what happened to them, or how they responded while in captivity. They and thousands more like them do a brave, thankless job on our behalf.
But I despair at what their ordeal and the response to it tells us about the kind of country we have become.
After ten years of Tony Blair, Britain is now a neutered, international laughing stock. The United Nations and our EU 'partners' hold us in contempt.
The feminisation of our entire society has utterly destroyed whatever credibility and moral fibre we ever had. The emotional incontinence which flooded the country at the time Lady Di popped her Jimmy Choos is now our stock in trade.
I wanted to retch when I saw the father of one of the captured marines cuddling his wife and sobbing on live television in front of a tree festooned with yellow ribbons.
Of course he's got every right to be upset, but he shouldn't be sharing it with Sky News. His other son looked deeply embarrassed, as if a dog had just peed up against his leg. It was the most skin-crawling moment I have seen since The Mellorphant Man paraded his family in front of a five-bar gate.
And What about the outside broadcasts from assorted pubs around the country, as various friends and relatives showed their solidarity by drinking themselves senseless?
All that was missing was Nero and his Stradivarius.
The broadcast media covered the whole affair as if it were an episode of Big Brother. Gormless women cackled away about the hostages in the same silly psychobabble as they discuss 'relationship ishoos'.
One reporter actually moaned about having to give up his seat in business class to make room for the returning heroes. This was hardly the last plane out of Saigon.
The hostages were even given 'sweets and souvenirs' by their captors before being sent on their way. Imagine leaving Stalag 13 with a Lucky Bag.
If you come across a miniature bronze statue of I'madinnerjacket and a hand-tooled copy of the Koran as a job lot on eBay in a couple of years, you'll know one of the hostages has fallen on hard times.
I'm delighted they are home safely, but as I wrote on Tuesday, God knows what the generation who went through World War II would make of it. "We now take you live to Colditz where Captain Pat Reid and a group of captured RAF pilots are giving a press conference, thanking Herr Hitler for his hospitality and apologising for trespassing in German airspace."
Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?
Here is someone that I think you might agree with ;-)
What a disgraceful episode.
By chance, does this guy read Ann Coulter? ;-)
Thanks for posting. At least one Englishman gets it.
The conduct of the government and the military members for the most part was dishonorable.
This is LOL funny! And I don’t even understand the British references.
But the writer is correct. The conduct of the hostages can not be described as military. The entire British military needs a stand down exercise in order to find their cajones.
I’m hoping the malady is only confined to the crew of the HMS Cornwallis. We are in a modern Crusade, and we have British troops acting like gameshow contestants.
He is living the demise of an Empire.
He is a living witness to the death of the British Empire that once was a super-power and now is about to become as a eunuch. Brought down by liberals and political correctness and at some point will be a part of Eurabia.
What better way to end a show trial but to “pardon” your hostages and claim greatness.
FABulous!
Can he wake up the rest of his countrymen and women?
Could you explain all these Brit references to this idiot Yank?
This piece reminds me of Dunkirk:
“As train loads of weary, defeated troops rolled through the countryside, they were treated not as a beaten army, but as homecoming victors, welcomed by housewifes offering tea, sandwiches and cigarettes. Britain rejoiced...the men were home. Churchill had to warn parliament that WARS ARE NOT WON BY EVACUATION.” History of WW2.
Absolutely spot on. Hilarious too.
This generation has no F**king clue.
Was he in the one with Patton's son in law?
It warms my heart to see that not everyone in Britian is proud of what just happened.
I’m withholding final judgment.
Although I think this writer probably nails it, it also occurs to me if the reports of imminent action against Iran are correct the PM would urgently want to retrieve these hostages. *If* it’s true the airstrikes will commence in weeks it would be worth momentary embarrassment to Tony Blair so that Iran couldn’t use these troops as human shields.
They did what jon mccain did. The captures said talk and they talked, why can’t they be called heros?
jon mccain hugged his “enemies” when he went back to vietnam.
Actually these guys are heroes, they didn’t leave anyone behind unlike mccain.
Of course they were no longer at Satlag 13 because they had been moved ahead of the Russian army by the Germans.
You may have that part backwards. POWs were transfered into Oflag 13 from other camps to keep them away from the Russian advance. After the raid some of the POWs were transferred out, but that was to keep them away from the Americans.
Agreed.
The Brits are victims, not heroes. McCain was shot down during an actual combat mission against the enemy. He and his fellow POWs are heroes. If you don't understand the difference, I feel sorry for you.
There’s a program that runs periodically on the History Channel about some WW2 US fliers who for various reasons ended up in Mauthausen concentration camp in the tender care of the SS; one day a Luftwaffe officer came to inspect bomb damage and he was approached by a german speaking flier, some time later they were released to the Luftwaffe and a “proper” POW camp.
Enjoyed his writing very much. I was laughing out loud, even tho I don't recognize most of the characters he used for comparison. The style was funny enough.
FMCDH(BITS)
I appreciate the brits help in Iraq...but i’m sorry...i cringed when i saw them waving and carrying their goodie bags...disgraceful.
It’s been awhile since I read a couple of books my brother sent me. I’ll call him tomorrow or Sat and ask...
I was comparing them to mccain, who also talked to his captures, BUT he left fellow prisinors behind and NOW DENIES THAT THEY ARE STILL THERE!!!!!
He was captured and gave up information WITHOUT BEING TORTURED!!!!
He is not a hero,He’s a COMMIE SOB!!!
He denies there are any POWs still there and yells at an family members of missing POWs who question him.
If you didn’t get my point.....
Who is going to wake up this country? We’re not that far behind Britain.
As a footnote to this prisoners my other brother was a MP in the Combat Engineers and worked on the floating docks used on D Day and also built Bailey Bridges over the rivers as the Allies advanced toward Germany.
When he came home He got a job guarding POWs from Germany who were working in the fields of Fresno county. I have a couple of fuzzy photos of them somewhere...
McCain was tortured in addition to being badly injured. And what information did he specifically give up?
He is not a hero,He’s a COMMIE SOB!!!
You are totally off base. A Communist? LOL. I am not a big fan of McCain, but he has sacrificed and endured plenty for his country. I have great respect for his military service. What have you done for your country?
He denies there are any POWs still there and yells at an family members of missing POWs who question him.
I am aware of the deal he supposedly struck with Kerry about the POWs. When John Kerry's Courage Went M.I.A. I just don't know how much truth there is to the allegations. Do you?
If you didn’t get my point.....
Your point was poorly made. By the way newbie, welcome to FR.
There is still time for England to be great again. This was a moment of shame for the UK. Maybe they will see this whole adventure as a wake-up call. Our guys in Iraq better be on guard because I fear it will be our people who will be held next by Iran. Its a pattern they have and a bad habit the USA will need to break them of.
Bravo! I don't know if that joker was one of the (misinformed) Rambos who think that "Manchurian Candidate" McCain was the one person in the US Congress responsible for normalization of relations with the Hanoi Government, or whether he was some DU type out to spread dissension in the ranks, but you body-slammed him pretty well.
That generation is light years away from the current population...in England OR America, sad to say.
God help us in the future.
“Could you explain all these Brit references to this idiot Yank?”
I’ll have a go....
“They looked like a Vauxhall Conference football team being led out at Wembley by Nora Batty before the final of the Leyland DAF trophy.”
A vauxhall ‘conference football team’ is a reference to the lowest level of semi-professional soccer in the UK. The teams are full of dreamers who never made it in the big league but still keep playing in font of crowds of tens in the hope that they may still hit the big time. ‘Wembley’ is our greatest sporting arena - the kind of place where games of the magnitude of your ‘superbowl’ are played. The Layland DAF trophy is by far the least presigious prize in UK soccer, but for some bizzare reason they still play the final at an always empty Wembley. But for the dreamers who play they behave like they have finally made it!
‘Nora Batty’ is a much loved no-nonsense TV charactor from a UK commedy. A large, late middle aged housewife who was not blessed with good looks.
“They’re coming home, they’re coming home, they’re coming. . .”
This alludes to a soccer chant, that was breifly almost the replacement national anthem in 1996 (song is called football’s coming home). Wherever you get a crowd of drunk young men, and any chance to fit any occasion to “coming home” you can guarentee a full bodied refrain of this verse.
“Blink and it could have been the Guildford branch of the Manchester United supporters’ club arriving back at the airport, complaining about being roughed up by the Italian riot police.”
This is a reference to yesterdays news....
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6530157.stm
I could go on but I am boring myself!
Great piece.
Really captures my feelings. It looked from the one picture that all of three of the hostages were embarrassed at their humiliation.
BTTT.
I am afraid you are correct.
We are certainly headed in the same direction.
Diversity will destroy us.
Thanks, that fills in a lot.
The naval task force commander has a lot of explaining to do. It seems pretty clear his deployments left a lot to be desired.
The UK [England] is still a great country. Our special relationship is still intact. The UK and Tony Blair have stuck with us in Iraq using their blood and treasure to advance the mission. The UK has nothing to be ashamed about.
The following blog post has some interesting commentary on what assets Commodore Lambert had available to him on the scene, that, had they been appropriately deployed, could have prevented this mess.
Start of a cover-up?
http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/2007/04/start-of-cover-up.html
I’m praying that England awakes and we hear the alarm and open our eyes too.
Go to vietnam veterans againest john mccain and get the answers you want.
The veterans of Dunkirk conducted a fighting retreat. They saved their Army, which then had to figure in the German's calculations of their ability to knock off England by invasion. If the troops had surrendered, and been abandoned by their commanders as these sailors and Royal Marines were, the story of WW-II might have ended much differently. German would be spoken throughout Europe, including the Ukraine and European Russia. The Japan might have been beaten more quickly, before the nukes could be developed, as the US likely would have stayed out the Europen war, if England had already been beaten (and assuming Hitler had an attack of common sense, and did not declare war on the US after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor).
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