[omnivore]

Does anybody remember when you could see a rainbow, or a depiction of one, and not immediately think about the "gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered" agenda?

Original story: The rainbow was God's sign to Noah that He wouldn't do another Flood.

New story: The rainbow was God's sign to Noah that He had screwed up by telling Noah to load the animals on the ark in hetero-normative pairs. God realized that He should have been more inclusive of alternative animal lifestyles. So He gave Noah the sign of the rainbow to signify that in case another Flood was necessary, a much more Diverse ark manifest would be needed, including some of all the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered animals.

[Man50D]

New story: The rainbow was God's sign to Noah that He had screwed up by telling Noah to load the animals on the ark in hetero-normative pairs. God realized that He should have been more inclusive of alternative animal lifestyles. So He gave Noah the sign of the rainbow to signify that in case another Flood was necessary, a much more Diverse ark manifest would be needed, including some of all the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered animals.

I'm sure this version will work it's way into school textbooks if it hasn't already.