Running without umbrellas...
Posted on 04/14/2007 10:45:50 PM PDT by raccoonradio
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see the Boston Marathon canceled tomorrow - not postponed, but canceled. What poetic justice it would be: After all these years of corporate greedheads and narcissistic runners ruining a workday for us, finally nature ruins one for them.
Oh sure, cancellation is a longshot, but what if the weather reports do pan out?
Even with the most optimistic forecasts, there should be a lot fewer drunks along the route this year, littering and relieving themselves wherever. Let’s hope the cops can find at least a few loaded BC students to handcuff to lampposts, if only for the TV cameras.
And what a shame it will be if all the potta-potties, as Mumbles Menino calls them, aren’t tipped over in the Back Bay so boozed-up tourists can get a better view of some runner they’ve never heard of, whose name they can’t pronounce, winning a race that has become nothing more than a giant publicity stunt for and by people and companies that aren’t even based here anymore.
They say this is a $50 million event. I say, where’s mine? All the marathon means to most people along the route is either having to flee before the wretched thing starts, or else being cooped up at home all day long.
Why do you suppose the marathon’s TV ratings have collapsed? Because the only interest most people have in it now are the traffic reports, to learn the best flight routes to avoid the chaos.
And this year, they’ve high-handedly decided to shut down the whole city two hours earlier. On a Monday, no less. I understand it’s a hack holiday, but what if you’re not a hack?
There’s been a flashing sign on the main street in my town for weeks now.
“ROAD CLOSES 8:45 A.M. MONDAY APRIL 16,” it says. “BOSTON MARATHON.”
They used to at least give you a couple of hours in the morning to finish your business before imposing the de facto curfew. No more. Next year, why not shut down everything at dawn? Or midnight Sunday? The Marathon Gestapo is calling the shots.
You vill enjoy der marathon! Und you vill not complain! It ist eine vorld class event! Achtung!
You see, this is all for the aggrandizement of a corrupt insurance company named John Hancock. Can’t get to the post office Monday to mail your tax returns? Thank you, John Hancock. Can’t fill a prescription at the drug store? Thanks, John Hancock. A runner did number two in your front yard and when you yelled at him he shrugged because he can’t speak English? Thank you, John Hancock.
In Boston, they’ve put up about a million signs on street lights to remind everyone of the impending gridlock. The signs say, “It’s All About the Promises.”
What the hell does that mean? A couple of months ago, a lame publicity stunt for Turner Broadcasting brought the city to a standstill. There was justifiable outrage all around, and Turner had to apologize profusely, fire its CEO and fork over $2 million in reparations. Here’s my question: How come when Turner’s stupid tricks with little toys create havoc, it’s corporate terrorism, but when Hancock’s PR ploy more or less shuts down the entire metropolitan area tomorrow for its publicity stunt, we’re supposed to genuflect and thank whatever foreign entity owns the rotten company this year.
In terms of disruption, the marathon is right up there with a hurricane, or a blizzard. The only difference is, the marathon is totally preventable.
Now even John Hancock is complaining that it’s become too expensive to sponsor its annual corporate terrorism. It costs $4.5 million to pay off all the world-class runners. So don’t pay ’em. Let the marathon revert to what it used to be, an amateur event. Better yet, move it somewhere else. Where? I have only one suggestion where it should go.
Not in my back yard.
Rain, baby, rain.
Howie column thread
>>some runner they’ve never heard of, whose name they can’t pronounce, winning a race
(TV reporter): “And now let’s have a chat with this
year’s winner...and his interpreter...”
Remember Rosie Ruiz who ran the Marathon but cheated by taking the subway a few stops? The joke was, “Buy Rosie Ruiz
brand panty hose. Guaranteed not to run.”
Then there was Uta Pippig or Uta Poopig who had, er, some
kind of bowel problem as she ran (eww!)
oops, date should read the column ran 4/15/07...oops
for Howie ping list/radio show listeners: wasn’t Don Ho in the last death pool?
Running without umbrellas...
Now, they don’t understand how yesteryear's’ establishment
seemed to handle things SOOOO well....JJ61
Need some of that global warming snow and sleet.
Do you always talk to yourself this much? Sit on the couch and tell me about your mother. Did you have problems with her? (:{>
The only true extreme, that has been absolutely proven
beyond a shadow of a doubt here, is the “political science”
involved.
Is it the, “It’s The Sun, Stupid.”, or “It’s The Stupid,
Stupid.”???....JJ61
Be nice or the global cooling bells may toll for you.
(wink)....JJ61
LOL! That's what I've been asking!
>>tell me about your mother.
Other than her dying of cancer when I was 12, no problems.
I will try to compile all those into one post next time.
Hopkinton (and several other towns) would like to thank the runners for fertilizing their lawns...and mailboxes...
and cars...and...All natural! At least the rain may wash
away the smell...
Put a platter of Ken's fried clams in front him... I bet he'd surprise ya'.
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