LOL, oh dear! Well too late for me going to sleep. I'm here but due to the late hour, I cannot be held accountable for my responses, especially due to "heads up". ;-)
Possible Response 1: Were you born in a barn? Please shut the door.
Possible Response 2: I wouldn't buy a pig from there for all the tea in China.
Possible Response 3: There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner.
The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine.
Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!"
The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
Q: What did they name the clever pig?