The term “real” is not used to describe the sperm / egg donor parents any longer. It is “biological” or “birth”, versus “adoptive” or simple “parents”. “Real” is who raised you, who loves you, who sacrificed for you.
I have friends who have “snowflake babies” — children born from a frozen (then thawed) egg/sperm donors, then implanted into my friend. She is the “adoptive” and “birth” parent because she carried the child in her womb, and she and her husband did a legal “embryo adoption” through the courts.
Personally, I don’t at all agree with creating life this way as a believer in Jesus Christ. I don’t judge them for their choice, but I wish they would have quietly and confidentially taken this unconventional route without ever revealing to their children how they were conceived, bought, paid for, and adopted. She’s the birth mom — she (and husband) are “real” parents. It is creating too much identity crisis and confusion for them, IMHO.
I am my four children’s “real” and “adoptive” mother, and they remember well their own “biological” or “birth” parents, as they call them.
We told each of our boys at a young age about the adoptions and this has made our family stronger. Our boys know they were wanted and chosen. They would have figured out the adoption themselves anyway since they resemble their biological mother's family and don't look like my wife and me at all.
I'm happy that you were able to adopt as well. I'm sure you have found it as fulfilling as me or you wouldn't have done it four times.