Skip to comments.You Might Be an Illegal Alien if . . .
Posted on 06/13/2007 2:46:00 PM PDT by Do Be
Humor folks. I know emotions run hot on this issue(mine do), but spew your anger elsewhere. This is for fun.
I was talking with one of my customers today and the subject of Jeff Foxworthy and his "You might be a redneck if .. . " humor came up and I said, what if there was humor about you might be an illegal alien if . . and he said,
You might be an illegal alien if you go to the DMV and there is a long line and you get moved to the front of the line."
And I laughed and said yeah or, "You might be an illegal alien if you crash a party and then decide to never leave and just live there, rent free, for occasionally taking out the trash and other things the members of the family don't want to do."
And driving later in the car I thought, "You might be an illegal alien if Bush is concerned about the quality of your life."
So, have at it.
You might be an illegal alien if . .
Wit is often insiteful and can cut deeply to the quick, while at the same time making people smile.
Use your wit to make us laugh and smile while exposing the reality of being invaded.
You might be an illegal alien if you get caught stealing a $1 pair of pants at a church rummage sale.
If the #2 on your touch-tone phone is worn out.
You proudly wear your “I voted for Loretta Sanchez” button.
Illegal Alien’s Poem
I visit US, get treated regal,
So I stay, who care I illegal?
I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, “You come no more,
We send cash right to your door.”
Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid, it keep you healthy!
I go to college, for me it’s free,
and now I have a Ph.D.
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you, American dummy.
Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them come as fast as you can.
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks.
They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks, it gets better!
Fourteen families they moving in,
But neighbor’s patience wearing thin.
Finally, white guy moves away,
Now I buy his house, and then I say,
“Find more aliens for house to rent.”
And in the yard I put a tent.
Send for family (they just trash),
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighborhood.
We have hobby— it’s called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
American crazy! He pay all year,
To keep welfare running here.
We think America darn good place!
Too darn good for the white man race.
If they no like us, they can scram,
Got lots of room in Pakistan.
I see nothing funny about this ever escalating issue, one that is certain to change the course and direction of this country, leading to it's eventual demise.
. . . your extended family can throw a reunion party without anyone having to leave their own house.
...You come to the United States so you can get a job at a Mexican restaurant.
You might be an illegal alien if your Green Card name is “Fred Smith” when your real name is Pablo Garcia...
"You might be an illegal alien if You get medical care in the first 30 minutes, instead of the first 30 hours"
"You might be an illegal alien if you get a sudden urge to work in the garden center of Home Depot or Lowes"
"You might be an illegal alien if you're on your 7th DUI and haven't even been to court yet"
"You might be an illegal alien if 30 people are helping out with the rent on a 2 bedroom house"
If you are still donating to the RNC.
You really did vote for Pedro.
Still makes me mad though.
You’re getting tired of pulling yourself out of the bushes everytime someone yells that the ICE cream man is coming!
.....the Genesis song “Illegal Alien” really offends you
That is good—I had to laugh at the one because I know that’s happened.
Sir or madam,
that is priceless!
...if the US government is listening to you.