You Might Be an Illegal Alien if . . .

[Do Be]

Humor folks. I know emotions run hot on this issue(mine do), but spew your anger elsewhere. This is for fun.

I was talking with one of my customers today and the subject of Jeff Foxworthy and his "You might be a redneck if .. . " humor came up and I said, what if there was humor about you might be an illegal alien if . . and he said,

You might be an illegal alien if you go to the DMV and there is a long line and you get moved to the front of the line."

And I laughed and said yeah or, "You might be an illegal alien if you crash a party and then decide to never leave and just live there, rent free, for occasionally taking out the trash and other things the members of the family don't want to do."

And driving later in the car I thought, "You might be an illegal alien if Bush is concerned about the quality of your life."

So, have at it.

You might be an illegal alien if . .

[Kozak]

You might be an illegal alien,

If you can Vote but can’t rent from Blockbuster...

[Pharmboy]

...you spend two hours a day in 7/11 or Home Depot parking lots.

[Old Professer]

Hateful is for schoolchildren and liberals, illegal aliens are the salt of the earth (under the deepest wound you ever saw).

[Robert A Cook PE]

... if you’re paid in cash, pay no taxes and no social security, and have no withholding, can pay all your monthly bills for you and your extended family, enjoy a new truck and free schooling

...

and still send home more money a week than somebody making twice the minimum wage.

[SierraWasp]

...You qualify for the President’s “No Illegal Left Behind” program...

[Redcloak]

If you know exactly how many adults can fit in the trunk of a ‘87 Impala, you might be an illegal alien.

If you’ve ever given The Home Depot’s parking lot as your home address, you might be an illegal alien.

If you think that driving 20 MPH in the fast lane is being inconspicuous, you might be an illegal alien.

[Old Professer]

Geography is durable; demography is elastic.

[353FMG]

dragnet2

How right UR. I too am unable to celebrate the destruction of the only home I have ever known.

[Mamzelle]

re: If you can Vote but can’t rent from Blockbuster...)))

so far, I'm voting yours the best. And I can even rent from Blockbuster.

[ElkGroveDan]

That is good—I had to laugh at the one because I know that’s happened.

It happened to me first-hand. I offered to go back in and get him all the clothes he needed and pay for them myself. He just and (through his translator friend) said he didn't need the pants, just stole them for the fun of it.

[Old Professer]

WINNER!

[Do Be]

I see nothing funny about this ever escalating issue, one that is certain to change the course and direction of this country, leading to it's eventual demise.

That's too bad. I've laughed several times at the few responses already. I bet you $5.00 you can't read through this topic by the end of next week and not smile at least once.

[Boiling point]

You might be an illegal alien if you drive by the DMV and they throw a valid drivers license in your window.

[DogByte6RER]

You might be an illegal alien if this is on your summer reading list...

[colorcountry]

Someone asks you for your Social Security number, and you have to look it up.

[SierraWasp]

"If the #2 on your touch-tone phone is worn out."

Awlrite, I'll bite... Please explain cause I just can't git it!(cringe)

[CJ Wolf]

If you drive an 80’s honda accord drunk.

[fight_truth_decay]

You might be an illegal alien if:

You're not required to pay back taxes. ;P

[Ozokerite Boryslaw]

English? press one.....Espanol? numero dos

[DogByte6RER]

You might be an illegal alien if you use this mode of transportation to get to work in Los Angeles (or any other large metropolitan sanctuary city...)