Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Black Holes Renamed 'Super High Gravity Locations' (Political Correctness...in SPACE!)
The Daily Redundancy ^ | 06/22/2007

Posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:04 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - The International Space Nomenclature Council today adopted the term 'emplacements de hauts gravité super' - or 'super high gravity locations' - as the official replacement name for black holes. Originally named in reference to the fact that light cannot escape their intense gravity, the term 'black hole' was increasingly criticized as being insensitive to African-Americans and African-Europeans.

"We're glad the council finally took action on this issue." said Isaiah Herman, Chairman of the National African-American Coalition of People. "The unimaginable destructive power of these super high gravity locations was giving the word 'black' a negative connotation throughout the universe."

Super high gravity locations are the remnants of giant stars that collapse into a substance so dense that it has a gravitational pull that consumes all matter that comes near it. "They're the bad boys of the cosmos." says Nokidi Imsure, Professor of Astronomic Anthropology at Howyflyl University. "You would definitely want to cross the street if you saw one coming."

Early after their discovery, there was little controversy over the former name of super high gravity locations. However in recent years, scientists theorized that most galaxies had massive super high gravity locations at their cores, and would eventually be swallowed up by them. A doomsday overtone began to be associated with the former 'black holes' - even a slang term for something unendingly wasteful developed - prompting the insensitivity criticism.

"There was never any intent to be offensive or malicious." says Imsure, commenting on the original naming of super high gravity locations. "It just seemed to fit at the time. But this name fits well too - it's definitely a location of super high gravity."


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: blackholes; humor; pc; space
Okay, how long till the first post to realize this is a joke.
1 posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:06 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Je$$e Jack$on and Al $harpton led the way.


2 posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:57 AM PDT by TommyDale (Rudy Giulianiís candidacy is fading faster than an abortionistís conscience.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Isn’t that what Bill clinton calls his Harlem babes?


3 posted on 06/26/2007 6:44:36 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought they were referring to “hole” as the word leading to the renaming. But, yeah, it’s a joke.


4 posted on 06/26/2007 6:44:55 AM PDT by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TommyDale

So I now have to refer to them as “Super High Gravity Race Baiters”?


5 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:00 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG (Apparently now my party considers me an "ugly nativist".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

white dwarfs have also been renamed as:

pigment-deficient vertically-challenged


6 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:45 AM PDT by Enduring Freedom (jorge bush is the first mexican president)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Ya got me! The sad thing is that these headlines, at first reading, are actually plausible.


7 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:45 AM PDT by n230099 ("A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; Huntress

Now we just need someone to start the NAACH: National Association for the Advancement of Colored Holes.

...man, that sounds weird.


8 posted on 06/26/2007 6:48:12 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007 (Why vote for Duncan Hunter in 2008? Look at my profile.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole....


9 posted on 06/26/2007 6:48:20 AM PDT by Clara Lou (Fred Thompson, '08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

That problem is easily solved. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_bleaching


10 posted on 06/26/2007 6:49:07 AM PDT by Clam Digger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

went right over my head....


11 posted on 06/26/2007 6:49:36 AM PDT by Clara Lou (Fred Thompson, '08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought black holes have already been renamed to “Hillary’s Heart” or “Al Gore’s Brain”


12 posted on 06/26/2007 6:51:22 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Clam Digger

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!


13 posted on 06/26/2007 6:52:08 AM PDT by MplsSteve
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought that place was in Calcutta?


14 posted on 06/26/2007 6:56:02 AM PDT by RexBeach
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

I don’t get it. How could one confuse a collapsed star with an obnoxius person of color?


15 posted on 06/26/2007 6:56:36 AM PDT by Clioman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PBRSTREETGANG

Gravity is a function of mass and when Al Sharpton is in the area, a definite gravitational anomaly is detectable.


16 posted on 06/26/2007 6:57:43 AM PDT by 17th Miss Regt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Black Holes Renamed 'Super High Gravity Locations'

Why would anybody want to do that?!?

Just about everyone would agree that black holes are attractive.
17 posted on 06/26/2007 7:04:00 AM PDT by adorno
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Hey no “baiting the field” via headline enhancement! :-)


18 posted on 06/26/2007 7:04:07 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

“Oh WOW, Man!! Is that Diana Ross??”....


19 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:07 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

About time the term was changed; it’s blatantly unfair to my butt.


20 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:11 AM PDT by Jack Hammer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Damn... ya got me.

It is absolutely plausible that the PC crowd would do something like this.


21 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:24 AM PDT by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Clam Digger
I hope a wayward piece of an alternative newspaper classified section flew in your face advertising this "service".

Otherwise, I don't want to know how you know about this practice.

Or desire to want this done. Or to do it.

I'm sure people that go to med school to train to look at "holes" all day long don't care.

Besides, early attempts at bleaching the other end led to some pretty bad dental problems.

Will history repeat?

22 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:44 AM PDT by Calvin Locke
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Space, the final frontier...


23 posted on 06/26/2007 7:06:58 AM PDT by mathprof
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Well at least they weren’t called “nappy-headed black holes.”


24 posted on 06/26/2007 7:09:50 AM PDT by Humvee (Beliefs are more powerful than facts - Paulus Atreides)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Okay, how long till the first post to realize this is a joke.

ROTFL! I tip my hat to you, sir!

Super high gravity locations are the remnants of giant stars that collapse into a substance so dense that it has a gravitational pull that consumes all matter that comes near it. "They're the bad boys of the cosmos." says Nokidi Imsure, Professor of Astronomic Anthropology at Howyflyl University. "You would definitely want to cross the street if you saw one coming."

25 posted on 06/26/2007 7:24:05 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Almost got me but I caught on about half way through. “Coucil on Nomenclatures” was an early tip-off though. Ha!


26 posted on 06/26/2007 7:27:46 AM PDT by subterfuge (Today, Tolerance =greatest virtue;Hypocrisy=worst character defect; Discrimination =worst atrocity)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007; All

Ummm... guys (& gals)... It wasn’t so long ago that the “Jewfish” was ‘officially’ renamed the “Goliath Grouper” because of perceived insensitivity toward our friends of the Jewish persuasion. Now I don’t know any fisherman that consults the ACLU (or whoever) when he boats a fish... (let’s see, what shall I call this? No, can’t call it THAT.) Nevertheless, all the fish guides & aquariums will reinforce the use of “Goliath Grouper” until us newly-defined ‘insensitives’ die off.

THIS is entirely possible! Good satire, though.


27 posted on 06/26/2007 7:38:41 AM PDT by Tallguy (Climate is what you plan for, weather is what you get.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Sorry, due to circumstances beyond my control I am no longer allowed to respond to threads like this one.

The activist trolls who abuse the abuse button, and the mods who empower them...

Just saying.

28 posted on 06/26/2007 7:45:08 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Sorry, due to circumstances beyond my control I am no longer allowed to respond to threads like this one.

The activist trolls who abuse the abuse button, and the mods who empower them...

Just saying.

29 posted on 06/26/2007 7:45:10 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Not quite sarcasm. Not much of a parody. Might pass as black humor.


30 posted on 06/26/2007 7:47:10 AM PDT by RightWhale (Repeal the Treaty)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Enduring Freedom
You have no idea how hard I'm biting my tongue.


31 posted on 06/26/2007 7:51:57 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

IB4TZ?


32 posted on 06/26/2007 7:55:07 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Are you sure this is not scrappleface?
33 posted on 06/26/2007 8:06:29 AM PDT by Cripplehawk
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RightWhale
Not quite sarcasm. Not much of a parody. Might pass as black humor.

Just out of curiosity, do you enjoy Florence King?
How about P.J. O'Rourke?

34 posted on 06/26/2007 8:09:54 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: mathprof
Space, the final frontier...

Speaking of which, have you heard the latest report from al-Jazeera?
They signed up the Muppets to air weekly episodes of Pigs in Space! in all muslim countries.

Just a rumor, I think.

35 posted on 06/26/2007 8:14:01 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
'super high gravity locations'"

I say we shorten that to "Super HIgh graviTy holes".

36 posted on 06/26/2007 8:21:58 AM PDT by robertpaulsen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Is it because black holes may not exist?

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1853659/posts


37 posted on 06/26/2007 8:25:06 AM PDT by dangerdoc (dangerdoc (not actually dangerous any more))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Okay, how long till the first post to realize this is a joke.

Why.. per LA county you can't use the term "Master/Slave" for computer disk drives any more

38 posted on 06/26/2007 9:00:18 AM PDT by tophat9000 (My 2008 grassroots Republican platform: Build the fence, enforce the laws, and win the damm WAR!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007
Presumably all White Dwarves will need to be renamed Full Spectrum Little People? :-p


39 posted on 06/26/2007 9:16:46 AM PDT by Flashman_at_the_charge (A proud member of the self-preservation society)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: robertpaulsen

The guy that thought this up probably graduated from the Sam Houston Institute of Technology.

I’ll have to see if his name is on the alumni “list”.

Go Plungers! [GRIN]


40 posted on 06/26/2007 9:40:20 AM PDT by Strzelec
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Tallguy

There are people who think “Jew” is a bad word. Idiots.


41 posted on 06/26/2007 9:51:38 AM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

In that case, we demand that “little white lie” and “white noise” be decommissioned as well! /SARC


42 posted on 06/26/2007 10:27:05 AM PDT by Dilbert56 (Harry Reid, D-Nev.: "We're going to pick up Senate seats as a result of this war.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Oh, never mind. I thought this was about Crystal Mangum.


43 posted on 06/26/2007 11:39:51 AM PDT by Kenton (All vices in moderation. I don't want to overdo any but I don't want to skip any either.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kenton

BUMP!


44 posted on 06/26/2007 1:13:14 PM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Why not “Super-Duper, Uber-Ultra, Huge, and Seriously High Pulling Thingies?


45 posted on 06/26/2007 1:21:22 PM PDT by TruthFactor (The Death of Nations... pornography, homosexuality, abortion)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson