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Black Holes Renamed 'Super High Gravity Locations' (Political Correctness...in SPACE!)
The Daily Redundancy ^ | 06/22/2007

Posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:04 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - The International Space Nomenclature Council today adopted the term 'emplacements de hauts gravité super' - or 'super high gravity locations' - as the official replacement name for black holes. Originally named in reference to the fact that light cannot escape their intense gravity, the term 'black hole' was increasingly criticized as being insensitive to African-Americans and African-Europeans.

"We're glad the council finally took action on this issue." said Isaiah Herman, Chairman of the National African-American Coalition of People. "The unimaginable destructive power of these super high gravity locations was giving the word 'black' a negative connotation throughout the universe."

Super high gravity locations are the remnants of giant stars that collapse into a substance so dense that it has a gravitational pull that consumes all matter that comes near it. "They're the bad boys of the cosmos." says Nokidi Imsure, Professor of Astronomic Anthropology at Howyflyl University. "You would definitely want to cross the street if you saw one coming."

Early after their discovery, there was little controversy over the former name of super high gravity locations. However in recent years, scientists theorized that most galaxies had massive super high gravity locations at their cores, and would eventually be swallowed up by them. A doomsday overtone began to be associated with the former 'black holes' - even a slang term for something unendingly wasteful developed - prompting the insensitivity criticism.

"There was never any intent to be offensive or malicious." says Imsure, commenting on the original naming of super high gravity locations. "It just seemed to fit at the time. But this name fits well too - it's definitely a location of super high gravity."


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: blackholes; darkenergy; darkforce; darkmatter; humor; pc; space; stringtheory
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Okay, how long till the first post to realize this is a joke.
1 posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:06 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Je$$e Jack$on and Al $harpton led the way.


2 posted on 06/26/2007 6:42:57 AM PDT by TommyDale (Rudy Giulianiís candidacy is fading faster than an abortionistís conscience.)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Isn’t that what Bill clinton calls his Harlem babes?


3 posted on 06/26/2007 6:44:36 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought they were referring to “hole” as the word leading to the renaming. But, yeah, it’s a joke.


4 posted on 06/26/2007 6:44:55 AM PDT by aruanan
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To: TommyDale

So I now have to refer to them as “Super High Gravity Race Baiters”?


5 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:00 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG (Apparently now my party considers me an "ugly nativist".)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

white dwarfs have also been renamed as:

pigment-deficient vertically-challenged


6 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:45 AM PDT by Enduring Freedom (jorge bush is the first mexican president)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Ya got me! The sad thing is that these headlines, at first reading, are actually plausible.


7 posted on 06/26/2007 6:45:45 AM PDT by n230099 ("A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud)
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; Huntress

Now we just need someone to start the NAACH: National Association for the Advancement of Colored Holes.

...man, that sounds weird.


8 posted on 06/26/2007 6:48:12 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007 (Why vote for Duncan Hunter in 2008? Look at my profile.)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole, black hole....


9 posted on 06/26/2007 6:48:20 AM PDT by Clara Lou (Fred Thompson, '08)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

That problem is easily solved. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_bleaching


10 posted on 06/26/2007 6:49:07 AM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

went right over my head....


11 posted on 06/26/2007 6:49:36 AM PDT by Clara Lou (Fred Thompson, '08)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought black holes have already been renamed to “Hillary’s Heart” or “Al Gore’s Brain”


12 posted on 06/26/2007 6:51:22 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: Clam Digger

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!


13 posted on 06/26/2007 6:52:08 AM PDT by MplsSteve
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

I thought that place was in Calcutta?


14 posted on 06/26/2007 6:56:02 AM PDT by RexBeach
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

I don’t get it. How could one confuse a collapsed star with an obnoxius person of color?


15 posted on 06/26/2007 6:56:36 AM PDT by Clioman
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

Gravity is a function of mass and when Al Sharpton is in the area, a definite gravitational anomaly is detectable.


16 posted on 06/26/2007 6:57:43 AM PDT by 17th Miss Regt
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To: Ultra Sonic 007
Black Holes Renamed 'Super High Gravity Locations'

Why would anybody want to do that?!?

Just about everyone would agree that black holes are attractive.
17 posted on 06/26/2007 7:04:00 AM PDT by adorno
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

Hey no “baiting the field” via headline enhancement! :-)


18 posted on 06/26/2007 7:04:07 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

“Oh WOW, Man!! Is that Diana Ross??”....


19 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:07 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts...)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

About time the term was changed; it’s blatantly unfair to my butt.


20 posted on 06/26/2007 7:05:11 AM PDT by Jack Hammer
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