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Mark Steyn - Bearish Voters Get Senate's Goat
Chicago Sun-Times ^ | July 8, 2007 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 07/08/2007 4:45:28 AM PDT by Tom D.

Bearish Voters Get Senate's Goat

July 8, 2007

BY MARK STEYN Sun-Times Columnist

On the eve of Independence Day, the people of this great republic declared their independence from the United States Senate under the stirring battle-cry, "No legislation without explanation!" The geniuses who'd cooked up the "comprehensive" immigration bill's "grand bargain" behind the scenes in the pork-filled rooms had originally planned to ram it through in 48 hours before Memorial Day. And, right to the end, the bipartisan Emirs-for-life of Incumbistan gave the strong impression they regarded it as an affront to be required by the impertinent whippersnappers of the citizenry to address the actual content of the legislation.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) dismissed critics of the bill as "racist." Sen. George Voinovich (R-Ohio) complained that the peasants had somehow got hold of his phone number and he felt "intimidated."

Sen. Trenthorn Lotthorn (R-Lottissippi) said: Who cares if they call? They could call 1-800-BLOWHARD (and leave off the "D" for "Deal's already done") 24 hours a day and he still wasn't going to listen to them. "To think that you're going to intimidate a senator," he scoffed, "into voting one way or the other by gorging your phones with phone calls -- most of whom don't even know where Gulfport is." (Gulfport is a port in the Gulf emirate whose grateful people Sultan Trent has ruled o'er lo these many years.)

More artfully, the Democrats' leader Harry Reid, instead of insulting his old base, invented a new one. Among the torrent of calls from racist intimidatory talk-radio listeners who don't know where Gulfport is, Reid had somehow managed to get through to the one constituent worth staying on the line for, a man who supports the bill. Who is he? Well, according to the Senate majority leader, his name is, er, "Tommy."

Tommy Hilfiger? Tommy Lasorda? Tommy Dorsey and his Orchestra with vocal refrain by Jo Stafford and the Pied Pipers? Tommy Lee in the director's cut, where in the hitherto deleted scene right at the end he says to Pamela Anderson, "Sorry, honey, I'd love to carry on for another 20 minutes but I gotta call Sen. Reid in Washington. If you hardworking Canadians are going to do the jobs Americans won't do, I need to get your X-visa sorted out?"

Ah, but Reid explained that he couldn't identify the Tommy in question in case he was arrested and deported. This Tommy has to stay "living in the shadows," like Tommy Lee in the bit where he's partly obscured by Pamela's embonpoint. Alas, this heartwarming vignette left many cynics unmoved. On the radio, Laura Ingraham suggested that "Tommy" might be entirely fictional and merely Reid's imaginary friend. I proposed to Laura that "Tommy" might like to start dating John Edwards' "coatless girl," whose Dickensian tale of woe figures in every Edwards stump speech: Apparently she goes to sleep shivering every night because her daddy was laid off at the mill and she can't afford a winter coat. If Tommy and the coatless girl married, he could buy her a coat for $9.99 at Wal-Mart and she could fill in a routine Spousal Application form with U.S. Immigration, which only takes 10 years to process, as opposed to the cumbersome and time-consuming 24-hour instant amnesty visa for seasonal fruit-pickers and seasonal jihadists contained in the Senate bill.

Sen. Trenthorn Lotthorn, meanwhile, thinks America is a nation of goatless girls. They don't understand goats the way an experienced goat-farmer such as himself does. "If the answer is 'build a fence,' " Lotthorn declared, "I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence.

"Now people are at least as smart as goats,'' the senator told Mario Recio of the Sun Herald. ''Maybe not as agile. Build a fence? We should have a virtual fence. Now one of the ways I keep those goats in the fence is I electrified them. Once they got popped a couple of times they quit trying to jump it. I'm not proposing an electrified goat fence,'' the Lottly Goatherd added. ''I'm just trying, there's an analogy there.''

By now, his analogy had jumped the fence. But what an awesome monument to the senator's reign it would be: Hadrian's Wall, the Great Wall of China, the Great Electrified Goat Fence of the Rio Grande. They would sing songs about it:

''Grab your goat and get your hat

Leave your worries on the

doorstep

Just direct your feet

To the sunny side of the fence . . ."

For "the world's greatest deliberative body,'' this was a much more ominous popular insurrection than the conservative backlash against the president's nomination of Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court. Time and again, the remote insulated emirs were offered the opportunity to rise above their condescension and declined to do so. Sen. John McCain (R-Maverickistan) confidently asserted that he'd worked hard on this bill and knew it better than all these no-account nonentities riled up about it and then had to have it explained to him -- by bloggers on a conference call -- that he'd misunderstood a key provision of his own legislation: There was no requirement for illegal immigrants to pay back taxes. Their amnesty would come tax-free. Blustering senators who claimed to have drafted this thing had to be told what was in it by critics who'd actually taken the trouble to look at it.

Immigration isn't going away: Human capital is the great issue facing all advanced societies. But it's unbecoming for a mature democracy to discuss a critical matter in such a fraudulent way. It's insulting to tell people that to oppose this bill is to oppose border enforcement. There are immigration laws on the books right now, and they are flouted with impunity by "sanctuary cities," states and the federal government itself. The political class tells us that a nation on permanent "orange alert" at ports of entry can't enforce its borders, and a broken immigration bureaucracy that can't process existing levels of applicants can reliably handle another 20 million people.

If the senators have any sense of why they lost, they'll learn their lesson. But initial indications are not encouraging. Predicting victory, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) declared gravely and portentously that "the will of the Senate" would prevail. And that's what matters, isn't it? As the rebel colonists cried all those years ago, "No legislation without self-congratulation!"

© Mark Steyn 2007


TOPICS: Editorial; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: marksteyn
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Mark Steyn is at his best today.
1 posted on 07/08/2007 4:45:29 AM PDT by Tom D.
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To: Tom D.

Im still mad as hell at these pompus asses called senators. Re-election day in Georgia ain’t gonna go the way shamless is hoping.


2 posted on 07/08/2007 5:08:28 AM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Defeat liberalism, its the right thing to do for America.)
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To: Tom D.
Fantastic article. As a Pennsylvanian I apologize for Specter. We tried to get rid of him but the President and Santorum worked hard for the RINO.
3 posted on 07/08/2007 5:10:13 AM PDT by mortal19440
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To: Tom D.
Mark nailed their coffin SHUT! Hey Trent... are you listening? You core here in Mississippi wants your head on a platter... you are not to be trusted... your word is dirt... and to a Southerner that is worse than death!

LLS

4 posted on 07/08/2007 5:11:37 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer (Support America, Kill terrorists, Destroy dims!)
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To: Tom D.
Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) declared gravely and portentously that "the will of the Senate" would prevail.

Too many Senators think that it's all about them...

5 posted on 07/08/2007 5:16:44 AM PDT by NCjim (The more I use Windows, the more I love UNIX)
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To: Tom D.
"I say,...I say, nahl! You got some nerve boy! Talkin' down Lottissippi!" -- Trenthorn Lotthorn
6 posted on 07/08/2007 5:17:09 AM PDT by incredulous joe (Vote for Christian Bagge - www.energizerkeepgoinghalloffame.com)
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Wonder why the Times is trying to pass off a column that was written a week ago as if it was written for today’s edition.


7 posted on 07/08/2007 5:22:43 AM PDT by A.A. Cunningham
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To: LibLieSlayer

A direct quote from the site where I scooped the pic:

“Foghorn Leghorn’s unofficial theme song is “Camptown Races” and this good old boy completely personifies its riverboat style. From his high-stepping strut to his puffed out chest, this jaunty Dixie chicken has all of the charm of a southern politician at a church picnic. While ruling this roost with complete assurance, Foghorn Leghorn is often a reluctant leading man to henhouse spinster Miss Prissy.”

Looks to me like Steyn wasn’t the only one to hit it dead on!


8 posted on 07/08/2007 5:23:28 AM PDT by incredulous joe (Vote for Christian Bagge - www.energizerkeepgoinghalloffame.com)
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To: Tom D.
The geniuses who'd cooked up the "comprehensive" immigration bill's "grand bargain" behind the scenes in the pork-filled rooms and who planned to ram it through in 48 hours before Memorial Day should be kicked out of office--every last one of them!

At best they are too stupid to serve in the U.S. Congress (and that's saying a lott! {pun intended})! At worst they are too treacherous!

Either way, every one of them should be removed from office forthwith.

9 posted on 07/08/2007 5:25:28 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Ignore the will of the people at your peril, Political "Aristocrats"!)
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To: mortal19440

Yes, and I always had a feeling that was the real reason why Santorum lost...the people didn’t forget. The very one whose sorry “you know what” was saved didn’t even bother to help him in return.


10 posted on 07/08/2007 5:33:32 AM PDT by Shery (in APO Land)
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To: Tom D.
"To think you're going to intimidate a Senator...!"
SENATOR Trent Lott

"The will of the Senate will prevail!"
SENATOR Arlen Specter

"Let them eat cake!"
QUEEN Marie Antoinette

"I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence. Now people are at least as smart as goats."
SENATOR Trent Lott

Say, Trent! Do you suppose the people who built the Panana Canal and the Hoover Dam, who conquered polio and put a man on the moon---do you suppose those people could figure out a way to fence in those goats???
11 posted on 07/08/2007 5:35:29 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Ignore the will of the people at your peril, Political "Aristocrats"!)
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To: Tom D.
FRiends, the immigration issue hasn't gone away. How many illegal immigrants have crossed the border since the 'Immigration Bill' failed passage.

I email someone every day asking why the 1986 immigration laws aren't being enforced and why the border isn't secure.

I ask each senator and US representative if they're expecting me to secure the border and tell them, if so, it ain't going to be pretty.

Please keep hammering this issue until we get a realistic immigration law and secure borders. The future of our country, children and grandchildren are depending on us NOW!

12 posted on 07/08/2007 5:35:45 AM PDT by blam (Secure the border and enforce the law)
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To: Tom D.
"Blustering senators who claimed to have drafted this thing had to be told what was in it by critics who'd actually taken the trouble to look at it."

This is the scariest thing about this spectacle! The Senators themselves did not know what was in this bill! And yet they intended to foist it on the American people and cause it to become U.S. law!

At best this is the ultimate irresponsibility!

At worst it is the ultimate treachery!

Every one of the Senators responsible for this should be removed from office!

13 posted on 07/08/2007 5:40:32 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Ignore the will of the people at your peril, Political "Aristocrats"!)
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To: Savage Beast

I heard Mort Kondrake and some other conservative pundit on a Hugh Hewitt podcast from last week and they were snipping at AM talk and the right wing bloggers. Basically, that we have been whipped into a frenzy.

I believe these pundits reflect the mood of those idiots in the Senate - the continued arrogance of folks like Lott, Graham and McCain.

Secure the borders first!


14 posted on 07/08/2007 5:41:08 AM PDT by incredulous joe (Vote for Christian Bagge - www.energizerkeepgoinghalloffame.com)
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To: Tom D.

The tea leaves on this are just a mess. In Missouri, long time Republican Senator Kit Bond had to be dragged kicking and screaming to vote against the bill on the second cloture vote.
Newly elected Democrat Senator Clair McCaskill said early on she would never vote for the bill and she didn’t.
So my question to you is this. “Who’s on first?” I don’t think the Republicans are even still in the game.


15 posted on 07/08/2007 5:44:39 AM PDT by em2vn
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To: Savage Beast
This is the scariest thing about this spectacle! The Senators themselves did not know what was in this bill! And yet they intended to foist it on the American people and cause it to become U.S. law!

Not only is this irresponsible, it tells me that those people don't take their jobs seriously. It's like a game to them. Especially the ones who have been there many, many terms. I'm fed up with that attitude.

16 posted on 07/08/2007 5:50:47 AM PDT by YellowRoseofTx
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To: blam
"How many illegal immigrants have crossed the border since the 'Immigration Bill' failed passage."

You are absolutely right, Blam (post #12). If President Bush continues to refuse to enforce U.S. immigration laws, he should be removed from office.

I hate to say that. I am formerly one of his most loyal supporters. When he was elected President, I compared him to Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Jefferson, T. Roosevelt, Truman, and Churchill.

However, he has made it clear that he has no intention of enforcing U.S. immigration laws, of closing the Mexican Border, or of halting further illegal immigration.

If he continues to refuse to enforce these laws, he should be removed from office. I know of no other remedy for a President--or a Congressman--who does such as this.

17 posted on 07/08/2007 5:54:03 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Ignore the will of the people at your peril, Political "Aristocrats"!)
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To: incredulous joe
Hmmm. Just change a few names and it's perfect!
“Trent Lott’s unofficial theme song is “Camptown Races” and this good old boy completely personifies its riverboat style. From his high-stepping strut to his puffed out chest, this jaunty Dixie chicken has all of the charm of a southern politician at a church picnic. While ruling this roost with complete assurance, Lott is often a reluctant leading man to henhouse spinster Lindsey Graham.”

18 posted on 07/08/2007 5:57:41 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (The Democrat Party: radical Islam's last hope)
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To: Savage Beast
"However, he has made it clear that he has no intention of enforcing U.S. immigration laws, of closing the Mexican Border, or of halting further illegal immigration."

They seem to be taking the position that because we protested what they were doing and finally put a halt to the traitorous bill, that they're mad and will do nothing and let the serfs suffer the consequences of rebelling against them.

Thousands a day are still streaming across the border and everyone is refusing to enforce the law.

We're not done...NOTHING HAS CHANGED...we're still being invaded.

19 posted on 07/08/2007 6:02:30 AM PDT by blam (Secure the border and enforce the law)
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To: incredulous joe

Always loved that chiccc... uhh I say son... uhh chicccc... uhh I meant to say Rooster!

LLS


20 posted on 07/08/2007 6:20:56 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer (Support America, Kill terrorists, Destroy dims!)
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To: Tom D.

Steyn bump


21 posted on 07/08/2007 6:21:17 AM PDT by Christian4Bush ("Polls are for strippers and liberals." Caller to Rush, 6/5/2007)
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To: imahawk

Saxby lost sight of why he was put in that office. Like most Senators he started thinking the office elevated him to some special status, a kind of House of Lords mentality.


22 posted on 07/08/2007 6:23:14 AM PDT by Taichi (Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse)
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To: incredulous joe

We’ll do worse than melt down their phones next time.


23 posted on 07/08/2007 6:23:54 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (BTUs are my Beat.)
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To: COBOL2Java

“I say,...I say,...nahl. You little peoples thinks you got us on the run, nahl? I say!”


24 posted on 07/08/2007 6:26:00 AM PDT by incredulous joe (Vote for Christian Bagge - www.energizerkeepgoinghalloffame.com)
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To: blam

The only solution I know would be a massive grassroots movement to impeach these Congressmen and the President—or perhaps a threat to do so. It would be very difficult to get such a movement going and to succeed with it. Is there any other way to bring pressure on them to enforce the laws?


25 posted on 07/08/2007 6:32:23 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Ignore the will of the people at your peril, Political "Aristocrats"!)
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To: Eric in the Ozarks
"We’ll do worse than melt down their phones next time."

Next Time?

Next time is now! They're still coming across the border while we're waiting for NEXT TIME!!

26 posted on 07/08/2007 6:35:56 AM PDT by blam (Secure the border and enforce the law)
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To: Tom D.

“If the answer is ‘build a fence,’ “ Lotthorn declared, “I’ve got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain’t no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He might be right,but when I get tired of those goats jumping the fence I can shoot them and have them for dinner.


27 posted on 07/08/2007 6:43:02 AM PDT by sgtbono2002 (http://www.imwithfred.com/index.aspx)
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To: Savage Beast

...and my rant, “the US Senate is the most dangerous body of men and women on the face of the earth”.

So many pompous donkeys under one roof who think they are hung, when in reality there are a majority that ought to be.

There are at least two others on this forum with like commentary, I should know them by name, in order to ping, but at the moment I don’t.


28 posted on 07/08/2007 6:45:28 AM PDT by wita (truthspeaksi@freerepublic.com)
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To: Eric in the Ozarks

I hope everyone against the travesty thinks as you do! We would have to get organized. Maybe a 501c3 revolution committee.


29 posted on 07/08/2007 6:48:38 AM PDT by wita (truthspeaksi@freerepublic.com)
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To: Tom D.
...the Great Electrified Goat Fence of the Rio Grande.

Well, okay then. Just build something across the border.
30 posted on 07/08/2007 6:50:07 AM PDT by George W. Bush (Rudi: tough on terror, scared of Iowa)
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To: NCjim
"the will of the Senate"

When I read that I thought about ancient Rome. Specter must like gladiator movies.

31 posted on 07/08/2007 7:00:54 AM PDT by processing please hold (Duncan Hunter '08) (ROP and Open Borders-a terrorist marriage and hell's coming with them)
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To: Tom D.
I rarely listen to Hannity because 3 hours of RUSH is generally enough but I happened to be listening the day he made a complete stuttering, stammering fool of Voini#itch for his support for the Sell Out of America. Apparently Voino read some of the bill that night and voted against cloture...
32 posted on 07/08/2007 7:09:17 AM PDT by tubebender (Large reward for person offering leads to my missing tag lines...)
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To: LibLieSlayer

Would Haley Barbour take on Lott?


33 posted on 07/08/2007 7:23:59 AM PDT by Melchior
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To: Savage Beast

How about a massive grassroots movement to repeal the 17th Amendment?


34 posted on 07/08/2007 7:24:02 AM PDT by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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To: Savage Beast
"I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence. Now people are at least as smart as goats. SENATOR Trent Lott "

I seem to recall that when the Chinese built the Great Wall they used human bodies as part to the fill in the wall. Including him in our wall seems a satisfactory termination to Vacant Lotts tenure as one of the “Lords of the Senate” to me. If however we are too squeamish to bury him all the way we could at least do it from the neck down and could feed him on goat milk and cheese. I would volunteer to do the honors until his inevitable change of mind.


35 posted on 07/08/2007 7:26:07 AM PDT by sinclair (The constructs of man often leave matters wished for.)
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To: tubebender

I think the senators compartmentalize their thinking and move on. When Reid outlined what they had to get done, none of it semed important to me. I heard Voinovich talk to Hannity and he concluded with a shrug, better luck next time on another issue. Then Lieberman suggested London style cameras in NYC when a major support for immigration reform comes from 911 families. They move on at their own peril, because Americans get the connections even if they do not and will insist on fixing this.


36 posted on 07/08/2007 7:29:13 AM PDT by ClaireSolt (Have you have gotten mixed up in a mish-masher?)
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To: Tom D.
The American people revolted on the issue of illegal immigration and there were some senators who were smart enough to get the message. The senate and government in general have always treated the people as uneducated yokels who didn´t know what was good for them. This time we told them they better look out for what is good for them if they want to keep riding the gravy train.
37 posted on 07/08/2007 7:38:58 AM PDT by Americanexpat (A strong democracy through citizen oversight.)
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To: Eric in the Ozarks

80% of 300 million people is a lot of people to cross. I included that in my messages to our would-be-rulers.


38 posted on 07/08/2007 8:03:30 AM PDT by Sal (My "good" Senator Kyl exposed himself as a Grand Betrayer, corrupt to the core!)
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To: Melchior

Chip Pickering will replace Trent in 2012... unless Lott retires early. He almost quit this past time and there is little doubt in his retirement in 2012. I hope he yearns for early retirement.

LLS


39 posted on 07/08/2007 10:27:46 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer (Support America, Kill terrorists, Destroy dims!)
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To: Sal

Hope that 80 percent is still angry in November.


40 posted on 07/08/2007 10:37:16 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (BTUs are my Beat.)
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To: Howlin; riley1992; Miss Marple; deport; Dane; sinkspur; steve; JohnHuang2; ravingnutter; ...

Steyn ping


41 posted on 07/08/2007 10:43:47 AM PDT by Pokey78 (Steyn: Al Qaeda wants to party like it's 799.)
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To: Savage Beast

“Blustering senators who claimed to have drafted this thing had to be told what was in it by critics who’d actually taken the trouble to look at it.”

I was astounded that the full bill wasn’t available to the Senators and that they hadn’t even read it. I told Burr’s office my grandfather’s advice was NEVER buy a pig in a poke, which was what this clearly was.


42 posted on 07/08/2007 10:49:26 AM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
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To: Pokey78

Thanks.


43 posted on 07/08/2007 11:04:43 AM PDT by COUNTrecount
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To: Tom D.
If the senators have any sense of why they lost, they'll learn their lesson. But initial indications are not encouraging. Predicting victory, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) declared gravely and portentously that "the will of the Senate" would prevail. And that's what matters, isn't it? As the rebel colonists cried all those years ago, "No legislation without self-congratulation!"

Do you believe in term limits for Congress?

Despite a recent House vote against it, talk radio is still being threatened by the resurrection of the Fairness Doctrine. With the near evisceration of McCain - Feingold Campaign Finance Reform Act by the Supreme Court and the failure of the comprehensive "Shamnesty" in the Senate, the neoCOMs will be pushing harder for the Fairness Doctrine. Call talk radio. Use that as an opening to push for a Constitutional Amendment to give Congress term limits.

44 posted on 07/08/2007 11:15:13 AM PDT by neverdem (Call talk radio. We need a Constitutional Amendment for Congressional term limits. Let's Roll!)
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To: Tom D.

More good LOLs from Mark


45 posted on 07/08/2007 11:15:32 AM PDT by dennisw
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To: Tom D.

I was already very cynical about our congressfolk — yet these would-be tinpot dictators were still able to surprise me with their arrogance. These people dare to equate voter communication with their elected representatives with intimidation?!?! They forget themselves — these ignorant, arrrogant fools need to be unceremoniously tossed out on their ears in the next primaries.


46 posted on 07/08/2007 11:56:21 AM PDT by ellery (I don't remember a constitutional amendment that gives you the right not to be identified-R.Giuliani)
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To: Pokey78

Great stuff, and thanks so much for the ping!


47 posted on 07/08/2007 1:21:58 PM PDT by alwaysconservative (Enforcement, enforcement, enforcement. . .)
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To: Tom D.
Sen. Trenthorn Lotthorn

LOL. And this is more consideration that Traitor Lott deserves!

48 posted on 07/08/2007 1:24:55 PM PDT by irv
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To: Tom D.

Great column by Steyn!


49 posted on 07/08/2007 1:33:53 PM PDT by puroresu
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To: Savage Beast

LMAO! I voted for Bush twice because there no doubt he was a better choice than asshats Gore and Kerry, but comparable “to Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Jefferson, T. Roosevelt, Truman, and Churchill?” Man, you were pwned.


50 posted on 07/08/2007 2:36:53 PM PDT by GATOR NAVY (Hey! Must be a devil between us)
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