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I Was An eBay Voldemort (A Hilarious Account Of Auctioning The Last "Harry Potter" Tome Alert)
National Review ^ | 07/19/2007 | Will Collier

Posted on 07/19/2007 5:05:59 AM PDT by goldstategop

Wednesday evening, Atlanta — It all started about 24 hours ago, when I found a plain cardboard box on my doorstep. I was surprised to see my name on the label, as I wasn’t expecting anything this week. My surprise increased exponentially when I opened the package to find a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows within.

With no disrespect meant to J. K. Rowling’s innumerable devotees, I’m not a particularly big Harry Potter fan. But I’d read two or three of the early books, and being as susceptible as the next guy to the hype for the last book in the series, I placed an order a few weeks ago at DeepDiscount.com, the store that was offering the lowest price. Ironically, I didn’t even spring for expedited shipping.

The first thing I thought upon seeing the book was, “Boy, somebody screwed up.” Hallows is famously scheduled for release at midnight on July 21, more than four days after my copy arrived.

As you’ve probably guessed by now, my second thought was, “Hey, this thing’s probably worth more than 18 bucks between now and then.” It was a matter of minutes from that thought to taking a blurry digital photo of the book propped up against my computer and composing a brief ad on eBay.

To be perfectly honest, I only half expected to actually sell anything. I didn’t want to take some kid’s lunch money, so I intentionally set the reserve price at $175, well beyond the book budget for any sane parent’s child. On a total whim, I also put up a “Buy It Now” option at an astronomical $250, figuring I might find either an adult Potter geek overwhelmed by the desire to be “first!” or perhaps a media organization looking for an advance copy.

Keep that last bit in mind. It’ll come up again.

The ad didn’t get much notice that evening, but when I got up this morning, an e-mail was waiting from a nice fellow offering me $175 if I’d cancel the auction right then and sell him Hallows, off the books, as it were. eBay hates this kind of thing — it robs them of their sale-end fees — but it happens all the time.

I almost took him up on it. $157 is a pretty darn good profit on an $18 investment.

But hey, I thought, if this guy is willing to pay that much, somebody else might go for the whole thing. And besides, canceling the auction would negate the other reason why I put the book up for sale in the first place: I figured it’d be fun to watch.

So off I went to work, and as far as I can tell, the ad didn’t get much notice during the morning. At lunchtime, I found a number of e-mails from people who were apparently interested, but didn’t really believe that I had a copy for sale (there were also a few from folks who thought I was nuts for trying to get three figures for a book that’ll be worth less than $20 in three days).

Fortunately, my house is short distance from work, so I grabbed a copy of today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution, drove home, and snapped a couple of pictures with Hallows in view of the date and headline (VICK INDICTED). I posted the pictures to my ad, and went back to work.

Then things started to get weird.

No sooner had I clocked a couple of hours of vacation time to make up for my Potter errand-running than my desk phone rang. A pleasant-sounding woman introduced herself as being with Scholastic Books, and my jaw hit the desk at something approaching supersonic speed. She said, “We understand you have received a copy of the new Harry Potter book from DeepDiscount.com, are you a Harry Potter fan?”

To say that I freaked would be a bit of an understatement. My desk phone number isn’t published anywhere — how the hell did they find me? I hung up without responding, and now I regret it. I should have at least chatted with her.

After I’ve had a chance to think about it, I assume now that DeepDiscount was pressured into turning over contact information on the people who received early copies of Hallows. At least that’s my best guess — I’m not discounting the possibility that Ms. Rowling did a little conjuring when she heard about the eBay ad.

The newspaper pictures were what really set off the firestorm this afternoon. After I’d provided proof that I actually had the book, today, the e-mails started flying: questions about shipping and questions about whether I were actually a minion of the Dark Lord ran about 50-50 each. By about 2 P.M., the ad got its first bid, for $123. A few minutes later, my e-mail buzzed again with the notice that the “Buy It Now” had been accepted for $250 plus shipping.

I’m not ashamed to say that I blurted out, “CHING!”

To my great amusement, I soon found out that the buyer was Robin Lenz, the managing editor of Publisher’s Weekly. According to an e-mail from Lenz, “I'm the person who shelled out the big bucks for you early copy of Harry Potter. I'm an editor at Publishers Weekly and we're writing an article on early shipping, the embargo, spoilers, etc. —this is huge news in the publishing industry. (and if there's is any way you could ship it today, I'd pay extra).”

Well, this was great stuff. Not only did I make a very nice profit, I got the best of all possible outcomes: Instead of taking a desperate Harry Potter fan to the cleaners, I got to fleece a media organization. I will sleep with a profoundly clean conscience.

The story wasn’t quite over after I dropped the book off at FedEx, of course. The Associated Press ran a story about the book’s release, noted my ad, and falsely claimed that I’d declined to respond to a query. That’s a lie: Even as I write this an hour or so after the AP’s story, I have not been contacted by them in any way—and if they actually try they’re going to get hung up on; lie about me and you lose interview rights.

I’ve already seen a few snippy pieces in the press about the eBay sale. That’s fine, people can say whatever they want. There’s no law against scalping books, and as far as moral issues, I don’t feel any guilt.

I could have done a lot worse than selling a book, folks. I could have read the last chapter and posted what I found there at VodkaPundit, a high-readership weblog where I guest-blog from time to time. Even worse, I could have done what some floor-flushing nerd with too much time on his hands did earlier this week, and posted actual pages scanned from the book.

That’s not cool. As I told a Publisher’s Weekly reporter who interviewed me a few minutes ago, that would have been like somebody walking out of a theater in 1980 and telling a then-eleven-year-old me that Darth Vader was Luke’s father. Un. Cool. I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that.

But I did have a heck of a fun 24 hours. For that, and for the nice dinner I’m now obliged to go and buy my wife, Ms. Rowling and DeepDiscount.com both have my sincere thanks.

Oh, and I ordered another copy for myself from DeepDiscount. I doubt I’ll see it before next week, but I do like to give my business to companies that provide good service.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: ap; aplies; asspress; ebay; harrypotter; nationalreview; waronerror; willcollier
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To: bobbyd

I’ll be taking a class for that later . . . I sorta taught myself how to knit earlier this year.

I am getting in touch with my inner old broad.


21 posted on 07/19/2007 6:30:17 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Lord, I apologize . . . and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea amen.)
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To: Manic_Episode

I got caught in a bad situation for a fan. I was asked to help prove that the photoed copy was not real. I looked at it briefly and noted that it was 22 pages shorter than what was announced as the size of the book. Only then did I start poking around in it and try to find things that would prove it a fake. Sadly, it turns out that the copy was likely real and I’ve seen more than I would have liked to see. I wish they had been more honest on the number of pages.


22 posted on 07/19/2007 6:39:29 AM PDT by Ingtar (The LDS problem that Romney is facing is not his religion, but his Lacking Decisive Stands.)
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To: netmilsmom

“The story wasn’t quite over after I dropped the book off at FedEx, of course. The Associated Press ran a story about the book’s release, noted my ad, and falsely claimed that I’d declined to respond to a query. That’s a lie: Even as I write this an hour or so after the AP’s story, I have not been contacted by them in any way—and if they actually try they’re going to get hung up on; lie about me and you lose interview rights.”

This guy is just figuring out that the AP lies?

Welcome to the desert of the real!


23 posted on 07/19/2007 6:49:55 AM PDT by bolobaby
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To: Xenalyte
I am getting in touch with my inner old broad.

Does that mean you are gonna start driving a 1979 Cadillac at 5 MPH under the limit in the fast lane with your left blinker on? That's apparently mandatory for old broads here in LaLa land.

24 posted on 07/19/2007 7:04:34 AM PDT by LexBaird (PR releases are the Chinese dog food of political square meals.)
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To: BibChr

AP would be more shocked to find someone revealing that Saddam bought silence from Germany, France, and Russia prior to the Iraq war.


25 posted on 07/19/2007 7:13:01 AM PDT by weegee (If the Fairness Doctrine is imposed on USA who will CNN news get to read the conservative rebuttal)
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To: LexBaird

Nah, I’m gonna be one a them old ladies what the drag queens like. Bright clothes, big sunglasses, and a ‘60s-type Caddy with HUGE tail fins.

(I will have restored the Caddy myself, and it will be hot pink with a zebra interior and a chain-link steerin’ wheel.)


26 posted on 07/19/2007 7:15:01 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Lord, I apologize . . . and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea amen.)
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To: Xenalyte
Um, so, you're on a thread about old women knitting?

Interesting.

(c;

27 posted on 07/19/2007 7:17:51 AM PDT by BibChr ("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
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To: BibChr

Oh, I am THIS close to being one of them old knittin’ women!

Knitting and crocheting are excellent for someone with nervous hands like me - they’re meditative and calming. Only trouble is, I can’t do either while driving.


28 posted on 07/19/2007 7:21:10 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Lord, I apologize . . . and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea amen.)
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To: Manic_Episode

Not getting our copie early, but my wife is out of town when they are scheduled to arrive. Plan is to stay up late, read the whole thing, and then drop ambiguous questions and comments the whole time she is reading it.

Figure I will last about 48 hours before she kill me :)


29 posted on 07/19/2007 7:26:02 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: goldstategop
I missed the reason why DeepDiscount shipped the book 4 days early?
30 posted on 07/19/2007 7:32:59 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Xenalyte
LOL! You won’t be in the pink Caddie with the fins. Like a lot of younger people, you think that when you get old you will retro to an older style but that isn’t what will happen honey. You will be stuck in the style of your generation and the rest of the (younger) world will be movin’ on to newer styles.
Pink Cadillacs and Elvis, now that is my generation.
31 posted on 07/19/2007 7:41:07 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: bobbyd

No, no, no. Cross stitch rules. :p


32 posted on 07/19/2007 7:41:52 AM PDT by Politicalmom (Nearly 1% of illegals are in prison for felonies. Less than 1/10 of 1% of the legal population is.)
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To: Ditter

Ah, but I’ve wanted to restore a big ole car for years. All that’s stopping me are two lacks: garage space and a big ole junker to restore.

Being stuck in the style of my generation would be a fate worse than death . . . I came of age in the ‘80s! ;)


33 posted on 07/19/2007 7:42:57 AM PDT by Xenalyte (A good plan violently executed now is far better than a perfect plan calmly executed next week.)
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To: Xenalyte

At least it wasn’t the *70s*.

The 80s were cooler than that.


34 posted on 07/19/2007 7:44:10 AM PDT by Politicalmom (Nearly 1% of illegals are in prison for felonies. Less than 1/10 of 1% of the legal population is.)
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To: Manic_Episode
First I would’ve called in sick for work and read the book non-stop until finished, then and only then I would’ve set the buy-it-now price at a grand.

Third, I'd have posted spoilers at some of the kookier Potter sites.

35 posted on 07/19/2007 7:45:09 AM PDT by Centurion2000 (Killing all of your enemies without mercy is the only sure way of sleeping soundly at night.)
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To: goldstategop
The story wasn’t quite over after I dropped the book off at FedEx, of course. The Associated Press ran a story about the book’s release, noted my ad, and falsely claimed that I’d declined to respond to a query. That’s a lie: Even as I write this an hour or so after the AP’s story, I have not been contacted by them in any way—and if they actually try they’re going to get hung up on; lie about me and you lose interview rights.

Well, this is also libel.

36 posted on 07/19/2007 7:46:40 AM PDT by Centurion2000 (Killing all of your enemies without mercy is the only sure way of sleeping soundly at night.)
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To: Ditter

I don’t think they have said why.


37 posted on 07/19/2007 7:48:59 AM PDT by retrokitten (is NOT enviromentally friendly)
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To: goldstategop
It seems that the book is floating around all over the place. Drudge had a story on Tuesday about how a photocopied version is all over the file sharing services. Drudge even posted a link to a site with complete spoilers, (which annoyed me because a read the first couple before I realized what I was reading)...

Also a word to Potter fans or those that have children that are. I would advise you to avoid the Internet, at least the chat rooms / message boards for the next few days. There seems to be a LOT of spoilers popping up since the photocopied version appeared.

38 posted on 07/19/2007 7:49:40 AM PDT by apillar
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To: Xenalyte
LOL! But that is where you will be.

Have you ever driven an old car? I had a Burgundy and white Pontiac (can’t remember the exact name) but the year was 1958. Big long sucker, like a barge, no A/c, horrible to park. Older than that cars had no power steering or power brakes, then there were the ones that had no automatic transmission. Restoring it might be fun but then you would want to sell the monster.

39 posted on 07/19/2007 7:51:52 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Ditter

No AC? WHOA.

I am rethinking my plan.

I bet that big burgundy-and-white Pontiac was way cool-lookin’, though!


40 posted on 07/19/2007 7:53:58 AM PDT by Xenalyte (A good plan violently executed now is far better than a perfect plan calmly executed next week.)
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