Ten Things Your IT Department Won't Tell You

The Wall Street Journal ^ | July 30, 2007 | VAUHINI VARA

[Nailbiter]

ping for later

[redfish53]

I guess they are getting ready for the newscorp takeover

[DelphiUser]

Usually I gain the trust of the IT guys because doing data migrations I always need weird stuff, and I have a clue about security, and most important, I know how to state exactly what I need, why and ask nicely. (grin)

Story:

I worked at this one company that was required by contract to have NetMeeting to support our customers, so we had to be able to "Dial out" we were also required to have Email. They also forbid "remoting into the company" on basic rules of securing the company from intrusion. Because I did Data conversions, I would often start something big and go home for the night. I could have a stop happen and lose the night, so I worked out a way around the issue, I wrote a program that checked email every minute or so, then I set up a script that was launched by a specific email arriving in the cue (the email was then deleted, it had to be from the correct address with an authentication key that was encrypted to boot) it would launch NetMeeting, and call a public IP, then "Share the desktop" with the remote machine.

One morning at 2 AM my boss called me (he was working late for a proposal) and said I need a file and you are the only one I know who has it, I really hate to bother you, but can you come in? (it's a 45 min drive with no traffic) While confirming what file he needed, and some other stuff, I sent an email and received control of my work computer, got the file and emailed it to him. I heard outlook's Beep through the phone. I asked him if it was the right file he said it was, then asked how in the name of !@#$$@# I had done that. I could hear him running to my cubicle, so I quickly logged off. He got there and turned on my monitor to see an innocent log in screen. He bugged me for two weeks before I finally told him how I had done it, and then only in response to a promise of secrecy, he wanted a copy of the program, script, and encryption program.

Two days later, one of the IT guys was hanging over my cube wall saying, "OK, how does it work" (some people can't keep their mouth shut) So, I told him. He was impressed that you needed encryption (128 bit, with a new key every hour, and a specific public IP hardcoded on the work machine to use it. He thought about it, and said well, we have to allow NetMeeting, it's in our contracts by name. We have to have email, and you could rename the program or alter it in some way so it didn't look the same to a filter. Is there any way for me to stop you, other than to ask? I said, well, it makes me more productive, and I stayed within the programs the company uses to go through the firewall, I will stop if you tell me to, but I will not live here to get as much done it will be a policy decision that will slow production.

His response? "I live an hour and 20 minutes away, If can I have a copy, you can use it!"

As a foot note, he told me a week later that servers having issues at night had him thinking about quitting (he'd get a page and have to drive 80 min each way to hit a button, or restart a service) now he could respond faster, and still sleep. As far as I know, the company is still using my little kludge, and loving it, but only for those who know enough to use it, they even asked for the source code to the email checker, and the encrypter when I left.

Sorry for the long story, but sometimes the users can do something good for IT and we are the reason you exist. Please don't treat everyone the same, programmers are often (but not always) capable people, sally secretary, well, often not. please judge people by their merits, not their membership in the IT club. /Rant

[DelphiUser]

“Why did my friend get a message that the email she tried to send me was undeliverable?”

One if my favorites is “What e-mails haven’t I received?”

When emailing people who I know will get the joke, I some times include the line "email me immediately if you don't get this..." I usually get an appropriate cartoon in response...

[zeugma]

I hate phone system questions. I know next to nothing about phone systems, but that doesn’t stop anyone.

You and me both. I've managed everything from peecees to mainframes, but I can't get my phones to rreliably conference people into a call. 

[cyberaxe]

but I can't get my phones to rreliably conference people into a call.

.....that's because most PBX's are of the devil.....

.....and if you think IT guys are sadist.....

.....try and deal with those PBX guys!.....

[TechJunkYard]

Oh yeah. Don't get us mad or we'll turn off your phone and change your voicemail password. ;-)

[LibertarianInExile]

Marked for later. And thanks.

[MarkL]

My thoughts on your "Top Ten."

1. Your backup tapes haven’t functioned for a year.

Nobody ever got fired for "bad backups." They only ever get fired for "bad restores." Which is why I schedule a test restore once a month, about 100MB or so, and then compare the restored files to the original.

3. A barebones system is just as good and cheaper for most desktops.

Key word is MOST. The nice thing about generic systems is that they're cheap enough to keep a few spares around. However, don't even think of replacing a quality business desktop with a solid on-site warranty with a "clone" in a mission critical application - Like PAYROLL. People get grumpy when they find out that their paychecks are going to be late. And don't even think of scrimping on servers.

7. You really do need the command line.

The best thing about all the different windowing user environments (Windows, OSX, X11, etc) is the fact that you can have dozens of command lines open at once!

10. Since high school kids can now do IT, you now have a high school quality network.

Unfortunately, this is the case more often than not. Many years ago (about 1990, I think), I went to a school district to set up a network in a school. When the principal saw my companies bid for the labor, at $75.00 an hour, she told us that she could hire a lawyer for less! My response was, "So get your lawyer to set up your damned network!" My boss dropped my rate down to $35 an hour, and I was told that I would be done after 10 hours of labor, whether the network was completed or not. It wasn't, and after they spent the next 3 weeks trying I was brought back out to finish up the network at $75 an hour. Doing things right costs money too, but usually a whole lot less than having to come back and fix things... Remember the hourly contractors' creed: "Any job worth doing right is worth doing 3 or 4 times!"

Mark

[MarkL]

Oops! Forgot this one!

11. The Indian help desk is not only hard to understand, they really have no clue what they are doing either.

I heard this "one sided conversation" last week with one of my co-workers: He was on the telephone trying to deal with our AT&T co-location site in Dallas: So of course, he was talking to India...

"Look, I'm afraid that I'm having trouble understanding anything you're saying. [short pause] No, louder is not better!"

Mark

[bluefish]

Sometimes we IT managers just make up answers to your questions just to get you to go away.

Yeah, it is pretty clear to me. I like to send basic requests, then fix my own issue before you bother to respond.

Then, when you guys finally get around to coming by to do something useful for a change, I let you know I took care of somethign myself.

Then I let the GM know that once again, you were worthless to me.

I also made you guys uninstall your latest version of spyware, since it slowed everybody's computer down to the point that nobody could work.

I also made you remove your latest worthless experiment in email filtering, since our sales reps were unable to communicate with clients.

Apparently, you guys were too clueless to realize that our sales reps actually have to trade emails with outside companies.

Your bad ideas do the same thing viruses and spyware - they prevent us from working.

The clueless idiots you hire have been so bad that your new hires now have to be approved by me. Simply because I've actually fixed multiple things you couldn't. Either you were too technically inept, lazy or both. Take your pick, but your message above confirms at least the latter.

You are now one stupid God Complex / Power-Trip idea away from getting fired for continuously disrupting our business.