Posted on 08/02/2007 6:25:22 PM PDT by blam
Pastor's wife back; news conference set
Thursday, August 02, 2007
By DAVID FERRARAStaff Reporter
Mary Byrne "Beth" Smith, the small-town preacher's wife who drew attention from people around the nation while incognito for four months, has returned to Alabama.
A 9 a.m. news conference has been called today at the office of Rob Stankoski, a Fairhope attorney she has hired, according to his office.
Stankoski could not be reached for comment Wednesday.
When she disappeared March 24 from a religious convention 500 miles from her Summerdale home, Smith left her husband, the Rev. Jason Lee Smith, and two children, ages 10 and 7.
Police in Bossier City, La., where Beth Smith was attending a seminar the day she disappeared, tracked the 30-year-old Elsanor School kindergarten teacher down last week. She was working at a fast food restaurant in New York.
It was unclear late Wednesday why Smith had hired an attorney or the reason for the news conference.
Smith's unexplained departure left many friends and family members confused, but her story appears to have had an impact on at least one Bossier City detective, Sgt. Jimmy Stewart, who said conversations with Smith had restored his faith in humanity and had "changed my life."
Bossier City Police Chief Mike Halphen told reporters earlier this week that investigators spoke with Smith for 20 hours between Friday and Monday.
"I wanted to know who she was," said Stewart, who worked the case from the start and talked the most with her. "There's a reason things happen, and everybody's got a story. I just took time to listen to it."
Stewart, who spoke to Smith even after police closed the case, declined to reveal anything Smith told him, saying that would be a "violation of things I told Beth I wouldn't say." "It's just a very interesting story," Stewart said. "And I'm very lucky that she trusted me enough to tell me. Don't read more into that than is there. Don't try to make it something that it's not. ... Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to hear her story. ...
"Every now and then you talk to somebody that restores your faith in people. Somebody comes along that just really, really instills that in you again. She has instilled in me a faith in people. I think she's a very good person, and I wish her the best in life. I may never hear from Beth Smith again, but I'm sure she'll do fine."
Stewart said that throughout the four months of investigations, he never reached a point when he thought authorities would not locate Smith.
Friends and family pleaded for her return and prayed for her safety. Strangers created Web sites dedicated to her disappearance, and speculation about her life -- past and present -- poured in from around the globe.
The day she disappeared, she told friend Jenny Gipson that she needed to use the rest room and peruse the concession stands. But instead, authorities said, Smith pawned her wedding ring and hopped on a Greyhound bus bound for New York City. She apparently never used a credit card and never called home.
Police said Smith, who developed an addiction to painkillers before she disappeared, had been living under an assumed name while in New York. But on June 12, Smith mailed a request for her Alabama teaching certificate to the state Department of Education. The Press-Register obtained a copy of her request from the Alabama Department of Education. It was signed by a notary in Queens County, New York, which covers part of New York City.
She had used her own social security number and married name: Mary Byrne Smith.
A week later, state education officials mailed a copy of the teaching certificate to Smith, according to Alabama Department of Education spokesman Mitch Edwards.
Then, on July 26, an education department employee saw a television news story about Smith's disappearance and made the connection.
The department then gave police the address Smith used, Edwards said, and she was found.
I kind of hoped she wouldn’t be found, that she was safely off on her own pursuing a new life.
Things that make you go ... hmmmmmmm.
The female midlife crisis often manifests as a bizarre feminist streak. They suddenly resent everything of value and wish that they were Ally McBeal.
“Excuse me while I disappear.”
yes, there is something more to the story...wonder what??
“But instead, authorities said, Smith pawned her wedding ring and hopped on a Greyhound bus bound for New York City.”
Who amongst us hasn’t at least thought about it? ;)
I’d like to hear “the rest of the story.”
We just had a local woman pull this, too. They found her about 4 weeks later north of here. She was living out of her car, just “thinking things over.”
Divorce your husbands, or knock it off! Quit wasting precious tax dollars and police man-hours and stop worrying your CHILDREN half to death! Talk about selfish.
Is this the new “Mid-Life Crisis” cry for help from our women in society?
If so, it’s very sad.
Exactly! See my Post #8.
“Smith pawned her wedding ring and hopped on a Greyhound bus bound for New York City.”
How many times do you think I wanted to do something like that during my first marriage? But thank God I never did. Kids, you know.
I don’t know that they were abandoned, nor do I know if she fled her husband. All I know is she has returned home. In life there are often reasons why people seem to do the inexplicable. And those not in the inner circle are quick to judge the motives of others.
Not every woman is “mother of the year” and people do make mistakes.
The woman has been found and is safe. That is all that matters.
I don’t know how any mom could just pick up and leave her kids behind with them not knowing where she was or what happened to her. Very cruel.
Let’s see, addicted to painkillers, disappears, reappears in NYC, working 3 jobs, self supporting and apparently no longer addicted to painkillers?
Maybe she took the geographical cure because her loved ones were co-dependant enablers who sabotaged recovery?
Interesting story to speculate about, anyway.
I think it’s very real, but there are healthy ways to deal with it. I’ve seen mid-age mothers go back to school or start a new career.
The ones who go overboard must be really desperate apparently... and not too bright upstairs...
I used to work with a part-time preacher, very upstanding and very stright-laced. He had a beautiful wife and kids. We went on an out of town emergency project and he met and fell in love with a waitress at a truckstop. He went home and promptly told his wife he was in love with another and that he’d have to leave her.
He went back to the truckstop to find the waitress had already run off with a truckdriver.
There’s always more to the story.
That and the fact that she owes the taxpayers of Bossier City a few dollars.
So, do you think this runaway woman was having a fling?
The pastor should file divorce papers and seek custody of the kids on the grounds that she abandoned them. Then he should also seek child support payments.
I have no idea, but people who do the inexplicable, rationalize their actions.
I don’t know that [the man] abandoned [the children] [just because he left without telling them or supporting them], nor do I know if [he] fled [his wife]. All I know is [he] has returned home. In life there are often reasons why [men] seem to do the inexplicable. And those not in the inner circle are quick to judge the motives of others.
Not every [man] is “[father] of the year” and [men] do make mistakes.
The [man] has been found and is safe. That is all that matters.
There. All those dead beat dad's that walk away from their kids sure do look a lot more likable after a little humanizing.
Well, I guess we should be glad she didn’t shoot her husband in the back with a shotgun while he was asleep like that preacher’s wife in TN.
Not by a long shot!
Actions like this are going to get people killed, either looking for these "missing" people or making others say *uck it! Another nitwit probably run away.
But, you don’t know the situation in the home. Was the wife a victim of emotional abuse? Does she suffer from some sort of severe depression or anxiety disorder that caused her to believe fleeing was her only hope of escaping her problems? Did her drug habit change how she functioned as a mother? Was she unable to be a mother and wife, as she should? Keep in mind, she is a PASTOR’S WIFE. They often have a unique role in a church with a great deal of responsibility, sharing the load with their pastor husbands.
What is it that caused this woman to flee? We don’t know. And in not knowing, I am not prepared to fling arrows at the woman. Presumably she is home, now. Let’s let her and her husband sort this out. Who knows? Maybe she has kicked her addiction and he is pleased to welcome her back in the home.
There is just too little to the story to determine what degree of fault lies with this woman. Yes, she fled. But today, she is safe at home. That in itself is something to be grateful for, isn’t it?
My point is she is home and she and her family can sort this out. You have no control over what she did, or her eventual return home. I say leave them be.
Oh I agree. A lot of these guys that just walk out on their kids probably have fat ugly wives that never stop nagging them. I congratulate you for pointing out their plight, and giving them compassion.
Did her drug habit change how she functioned as a mother?
True. Many of these absent fathers drink too much, and they need to be given credit for that.
If all of the absent fathers that have just needed a little room to sort things out could get the kind of understanding that you show for this woman, I'm sure it would make their families and them happier.
In this instance, if the husband had left the wife, you wouldn’t have had national coverage, because it is common for fathers to leave their children in this country. You wouldn’t get an emotional charge out of the story. No, it isn’t common among Christian pastors, but statistically it is much rarer for the wife to just pack up and go.
To assume that she is a fantastic mother is foolish. Perhaps she believed he was the better parent, and she felt the children would be better off without her.
I have compassion for any person that is driven to desperation. There but for the grace of God go I. Countless women dream of leaving home, but don’t. The fact that this one actually did it shouldn’t be surprising to you.
“He went back to the truckstop to find the waitress had already run off with a truckdriver.”
I joked to people that there’s a country music song about the Pastor’s Wife waiting to be written, but there’s a story about the kind of woman that waitress is that’s dying to be explored, too.
Based on your statements, I can only assume men must have more good reasons to leave than do women. Any other assumption would be too judgmental. Don't you agree.
I sure didn’t see anything in this story that “restored my faith in humanity”. I saw desertion and drug addiction.
Have you ever known a woman who chose to leave her family? Have you ever asked a single divorced mother how hard it is to raise her children? Have you ever known a woman who believed that if she had the chance to do it over again, her children would be better supported, have more of an economic and educational advantage in the father’s home?
To say that in every instance the woman must stay is foolhardy. Again, you’ve not walked a mile in her shoes, so you don’t know what happened.
The fact that you beleaguer the point makes it appear like you have an ax to grind. I do not.
No, actually what I think happens is that once a woman reaches a certain age she is no longer willing or able to put up with poor treatment. Women with young kids sometimes feel trapped by circumstances and do not get the support they need.
And sorry to say, I have known quite a few “pastors” who have not treated their wives in Christian fashion, and parishioners who were like Pharisees. That can be a pressure cooker of a life, being a pastor’s wife.
Also - I wonder if any of the people on this thread have ever had severe chronic pain? It is no picnic and there are times when you just want to end it all. Maybe she didn’t want to be one of those people who just “snap” and kill their families - and didn’t want to embarrass her pastor husband by being sent to a mental facility or rehab.
I see this as a case where a lot of things got out of hand. People don’t do what she did unless they are really pushed to some sort of mental edge. We should have compassion for all concerned, not judgment.
How incredibly judgmental of you. Are you in their inner circle? Do you have any idea of the environment they were in when they made their decision? Thankfully, they just make it out safely.
Have you ever known a [man] who chose to leave [his] family? Have you ever asked a single divorced [father] how hard it is to raise [his] children? Have you ever known a [man] who believed that if [he] had the chance to do it over again, [his] children would be better supported, have more of an economic and educational advantage in the [mother’s] home?
Sure. And with your guidance, I will try to be more supportive of these poor men.
To say that in every instance the woman must stay is foolhardy. Again, you’ve not walked a mile in her shoes, so you don’t know what happened.
Unless you've been traipsing around in a pair of shoes formerly owned by a African-American male who's run out on his kids, wouldn't this statement coupled with your first tend to make you a flaming hypocrite?
The fact that you beleaguer the point makes it appear like you have an ax to grind. I do not.
I just changed the pronouns in your statement and agreed with you. You are the one that found it to be at odds with your intent. Who's grinding the axe?
Dump her and start dating younger, attractive women.
I have no respect for an adult male husband who would take these women back.
That's her perspective, to which she's certainly entitled.
From the male view, she gets everything she asks for and more, and she's still not happy. Her dissatisfaction resembles plain immaturity instead of legitimate complaints, and while men very much want to be supportive and understanding, we can't give in to emotional extortion forever...
But I think it really is perspective - I wouldn't judge either sex to be right or wrong in most cases.
Well, I guess we should be glad she didn’t shoot her husband in the back YET .....
The first sentence.
One thing we do know is that she didn't abuse, injure, neglect, sell or kill her children as a result of her drug use. Maybe she left so she wouldn't!
Update to this story: http://www.al.com/news/press-register/index.ssf?/base/news/1186132911243910.xml&coll=3
How dare anyone question this woman’s actions! She has learned to love herself, which is the greatest love of all! Whitney Houston, Oprah, Deepak, Robert Ringer, and scads of other celebrities, experts and beer commercials have told us this repeatedly over the last few decades. Weren’t you listening????
Well I hate that she abandoned her small children, but at least she didn’t shoot her husband in the back before she left. Hopefully, she will be able to work out whatever is wrong in her life.
I was thinking of that one, too. :(
At least ‘The Runaway Bride’s’ boyfriend was smart enough to bail. I cheered when I heard that.
But Mommy is home. And Mommy and Daddy can decide where to go from here. You’ve no idea if the husband is done with the wife. You want to punish her for returning home?
Posted too quickly. I also meant to add that sometimes there IS a Happy Ending. My husband is a recovered alcoholic and prescription drug abuser due to two spinal surgeries within two years. Luckily I was strong enough to throw him out and make him choose between his problems and his family.
I rolled the dice and it worked for me. Five years later, we are happier than we’ve ever been and we’ve been together for 15 years.
Some people aren’t so lucky, but then some people never take the risk or have the backbone to get out of a bad situation. I was willing to risk it all to help him get better...and I would have lost a lot financially and emotionally had it not worked out for us and we did the hard work needed to keep us together.
I’ll reserve final judgment on her case until I read more about it (as in Cheney Chick’s link.) Many friends and family members thought I was stupid for sticking it out, too.
*SHRUG*
Maybe it’s just me but after reading that link I bet the author of that article also writes Harlequin romances; or at least reads a bunch of them.
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