Posted on 08/07/2007 4:01:12 AM PDT by spartagroup
Michael Vick Hysteria
Liberals Demand Tough New Laws to Protect
All Animals … Buy Only Animals
Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama, along with Suzie Drempt, executive vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, appeared on the Glitzer Hoof program on CNN to discuss the indictment of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick for promoting dog-fights, as well as for torturing and slaughtering dogs not considered fit for battle.
Hoof: I must say, people, this discussion has been fascinating. I believe that all Americans are united with you against the alleged barbarism, probably the first time the whole country has agreed on something since World War II. Let me see if I understand your viewpoints. Mrs. Clinton, you want a new federal law that vastly increases the punishment for mistreating dogs?
Clinton: That’s right, Glitzer. If I’m elected president, I will propose the Federal Dog Protection Act within one week of taking office. It would create a special Federal Canine Police Force to go after anyone who breeds, trains, hosts or attends dog fighting matches, with doubled penalties for those who are convicted of torture as well. My proposal would also raise the punishment to a mandatory 25 years, instead of the measly six years Mr. Vick faces today.
Obama: Let me jump in here, Glitzer. Mrs. Clinton’s heart is in the right place but she is bringing an outmoded 20th century approach to the problem. If I am elected president, I will ask the United Nations to form the U.N. Global Network Against Dogfighting. I will push the Senate to pass a treaty that would give a global police force, not just hundreds of local police forces with widely different patterns to enforcement, the power to enter any country and bring to the International Criminal Court in the Hague all such suspects.
Hoof: And PETA, Ms. Drempt, wants the government to consider the death penalty for dog mistreatment?
Drempt: For all animals, not only dogs.
Hoof: But you oppose the death penalty for murderers of human beings?
Drempt: Yes, certainly. The dogs have no say in their fate. Murder victims at least have the understanding that they are in danger and could try to run away.
Hoof: So, all three of you would oppose the death penalty for criminals who murder other people, but not if they kill dogs?
Clinton: Well, as you know, I am tough on crime, tougher than all of Democratic rivals and even harder than George Bush, though of course his anti-terror decisions are unconstitutional.
Obama: Let me just say that I yield to no one in my hatred of cruelty to animals. Since I am nearly two generations younger than Mrs. Clinton, I can recall much more easily the delight of running alongside my pet German Shepherds Muhammed and Jihadi.
Hoof: Mrs. Clinton, would you recommend that your enforcement agency go after all Americans who mistreated dogs, not only those involved in dog fighting?
Clinton: I think the American people would demand it. It’s ironic that dogs are known as man’s best friends, an outdated term if I ever heard one, especially since males cause 98 percent of animal abuse cases, according to FBI statistics.
Hoof (listening through his ear piece): My staff informs me, Mrs. Clinton, that your suggested punishment would mean three times the average prison term given to parents mistreating their own children.
Drempt (interrupting): We have many ways to protect children, but animals are totally helpless, so that Mrs. Clinton’s new law would act as a shock treatment.
Obama: I would take a more judicious approach. Since the YouTube debate where I was accused of being naïve over the idea of visiting dictators, I have undertaken trips as a private citizen to North Korea, Cuba, Syria and Iran, and none of them has a stray dog problem. We would do well to consider appointing police from these four nations, as a way of drawing them back into the international community, and showing Americans that good people from all four countries exist.
Hoof: My producers tell me that North Korea has no street dogs because of widespread starvation. People eat any dogs they catch. In the other three countries, governments conducted nationwide eradication campaigns that killed not only stray dogs, but family bets.
Then, who would you rather spend the next eight years with?
Clinton: Objection!
Hoof: We’re not in a court of law, Mrs. Clinton. Let me get a little deeper into this federal indictment. Michael Vick had hired a genetic expert, a Dr. Ian Michael Wonker, who took DNA samples of puppies in the womb and compared it with a gene for aggressiveness in ferocious fighters. Dr. Wonker was able to establish scientifically that all pit bulls without this gene would lack fighting spirit. Let’s look at this confiscated digital video police captured.
A TV flat panel screen slides up from behind Glitzer, giving all panelists a clear view, as well as the TV audience.
Hoof: People at home, I suggest you turn this off in case children are present. Here we can see a color ultrasound of a Pit Bull bitch, uh, I mean, a female, who has four fetuses, all carrying the “peace” gene.
The panelists and the TV audience watch silently as a pair of forceps enter the womb and began to grope for the first fetus.
Hoof: It seems that the fetus is aware that it is under attack.
The fetus tries to swim behind the other three fetuses but is trapped. The forecep snaps off one foreleg at the connection to the pelvis.
Hoof: That one is helpless now.
The forceps grasp that fetus by the head, squeezing it tightly enough that it becomes nearly saucer shaped, and then is yanked out of the womb. The procedure is repeated three more times. The last fetus has more space, and even after losing a front leg and a part of a back one, he is still trying to swim away from the forceps, but is at last caught and ripped in two before the parts are pulled out of the womb.
Obama: After watching that, Congress should consider adding the death penalty for veterinarians who carry out such grisly butchery.
Clinton: I couldn’t agree more.
Hoof: Dr. Wonker was conducting more advanced genetic tests in which he found the aggressive gene could exist behind the scene of the ‘peace’ gene and would only become dominant after birth. That gene showed activity only near the birth stage, so he had to work out a way to eliminate the weak pups and let the dominant one be born.
Clinton: How did he do that, Glitzer?
Hoof: Funny you asked that, Mrs. Clinton. Dr. Wonker adapted a procedure from human medicine, (Hoof turned to the red light to look directly into the camera.) I really urge all adults with children to turn stations now.
Another digital moves came on the screen. An anesthetized, very pregnant pit bull lay on her side in an operating book. ,/p>
Dr. Wonker (connected to a microphone): Since we are only able to establish which, if any, of the fetuses would make good fighting dogs, towards the end of the pregnancy, it is impossible to eliminate the weak within the womb. They are too large and would fight too hard, risking damage to the valuable fetus.
Off-Screen Voice in the movie: But, of course, the fetus feels nothing.
Dr. Wonker (pausing): Uh, that’s right.
Clinton: That’s an absolutely outrageous claim. I’ve certainly held newborn kittens and puppies in my hands and they have a very well developed sense of pain.
Wonker picks up a pair of forcleps, and watch a TV monitor connected to a tiny camera in the womb, begins to maneuver to get that the weak fetuses.
Dr. Wonker: We are able to put in a pink dye into the unwanted fetuses, and a blue one into the fighter, so no mistakes are made.
Wonker grabs the front shoulder of a pink fetus and pulls it gently to the birth canal.
Dr. Wonker: The fetus senses that it is time to be born and so does not resist the pull toward the birth canal, which it instinctively knows is the way out anyway.
Wonker pulls the head out of the birth canal, puts in a plug to prevent the fetus from moving outward and heading back in for protection, then takes a drill with a hollow one-inch diameter tip and zeroes it in at the back of the fetuses head. He quickly breaks through to the brain cavity and inserts a tiny vacuum tube that makes a gentle whirring sound. Some blood and bits of brain spray around the edges of the tool bit.
Dr. Wonker: We’re still perfecting the drill bit from what is used in late term abortions, but it shouldn’t be too difficult.
Clinton: But of course this isn’t how a procedure on a mother who has the right to control her own her own body.
The second fetus struggles mightily as the drill is brought to its skull, whipping his or her head back and forth until it suddenly blows up into an explosion of brains and gore.
Dr. Wonker: That happens sometimes. That one might’ve been a fighter after all.
Drempt: Ghastly.
The two candidates are silent.
Hoof: Mr. Obama, you and Mrs. Clinton both voted to prohibit pregnancy counseling agencies to show short clips of various abortion procedures, including this one, to women considering abortion.
Obama: It would only traumatize women needlessly. Everyone knows that the fetus feels nothing in the procedure.
Clinton: I’m not pro-abortion. I am pro-choice. I want abortion to be rare but safe and legal.
Drempt: Both candidates are right, and we should drop this line of questioning, or PETA will start putting protest picket lines outside CNN.
Hoof: Ms. Drempt, according to your pre-panel interview, you totally support the showing of this dog later-term abortion.
Clinton: ‘Third trimester procedure’ is the correct term.
Hoof: Yes, going back to Ms. Drempt, but you oppose showing this film to pregnant women trying to decide on a ‘procedure.’ even though you oppose this operation on pups?
Drempt: Of course.
Clinton: I agree.
Obama: Me too.
Read free excerpts:
http://www.conservativehumor.net
The liberals have succesfully stolen words to avoid their true character - ie:
1. Gay replaced homosexual
2. Liberal replace communist
3. Progressive replaced liberal
I am certain if Vick had been running illegal abortion clinics, with filthy conditions and incompetent staff, he would be in summer training camp and playing footballs this fall.
Foetus is latin for offspring.................but it sounds really clinical, doesn’t it.
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