Skip to comments.Groaner Puns (Your favorite?)
Posted on 08/22/2007 2:23:11 PM PDT by VA Voter
Q. What is a cesarean section?
A. A womb with a view.
Know how to tell if someone was delivered by cesarian?
Everytime they leave the house they go through the window.
What is an important ingredient in a scientist’s soft drink?
Jack Cust flied out to center.
Why couldn’t the pirate see the movie?
It was rated “Aaargh!”
What did the beaver say to the tree?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
Use a pun go to jail
Q: Why do Sea gulls fly over the Sea?
A: If they flew over the Bay, they’d be Bay-gulls
(”Bagels”, it’s funnier spoken =)
A jellyfish walked into a hardware shop and bought ten drills.
Word has it that an out-of-town conglomorate based in the Philippines has bought the Chicago Cubs. There are no plans to move the team at this time, but if they do, they’ll be called the Manila Folders.
Does the name, Quasimodo ring a bell?
Ungh...took me a sec! Good one.
Here’s a double pun with a grammar lesson:
What’s the difference between a cougar and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other’s a pause at the end of a clause!
A man goes to the Doctor with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear.
“That looks nasty,” says the doctor.
“Nasty?!?” replies the man, “that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. He was immediately arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
Mr Chen replies, "No, I drive a Rincoln Continental."
The really cute blonde is on the witness stand, testifying against her attacker. The DA questions her. "And Miss Smith, did the attacker have, to the best of your knowledge, a climax when he attacked you?".
The girl thought about it for a few seconds and answered "No sir. I think he had one of them Japanese Mazdas."
Somewhere, deep in a dusty Warsaw back room, is a filing cabinet full of bank deposit paperwork. It is the undisputed Pole vault record holder.
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