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A Streetcar Named Goats on the Roof
Special to FreeRepublic ^ | 27 August 2007 | John Armor (Congressman Billybob)

Posted on 08/27/2007 1:25:17 PM PDT by Congressman Billybob

My readers are well-read folks. So, y’all know that there really was a streetcar named Desire that ran to a down-at-the-heels neighborhood in New Orleans, where Tennessee Williams’ set his play. So, even though most streetcars have, alas, done the way of the Dodo, you might have surmised that Goats on the Roof is real.

Ding. Ding. Ding. No more calls, please. There IS a place called Goats on the Roof.

At the time that “Flashdance” came out, with it came a phrase, “high concept.” What that meant was the whole idea – remember charades, when you’d make a global gesture with your hands to tell the audience you were going for the whole idea? – the whole idea could be expressed in a very few words.

The story behind “Flashdance” was well beyond absurd. A petite, very attractive young woman was working her way through a dancing career by working as a welder by day. And at night she’d do nearly erotic chair dances in a club that ended with a pail of water being dumped on her? Tell me you don’t have a vivid memory of the water-dumping dance finale.

Anyway, the idea of “high concept” has nothing whatever to do with the quality of the product. In fact, the relation might be inverse. The lower the quality of the product, the more likely it will be reduced to a high concept. The top award for doing that has to be the B-movie, “Snakes on a Plane.” It’s self-evident that the producer was sitting by his pool, said to himself “What would be really scary?” Answered his own question with snakes on a plane, and manufactured a movie to fit that title.

That brings us to Goats on the Roof. Michelle and I were on an errand to North Georgia, pounding down Route 441 towards Atlanta, when we passed a brand-new business on the right side of the highway. She said, “Oh look, Goats on the Roof?” I said, “You’re kidding.” She said, “You’ll see if on the way back.”

We stopped on the way back. There were, in fact, goats on the roof. Several of them. Since I know about sod-roofed houses, I noted how the roof was constructed. Corrugated steel covered with thick sod, sloped just slightly so water wouldn’t puddle on the sod. Light in the middle was a goat shelter, containing goats. They weren’t old ones, teenagers, I surmised.

What kind of establishment would have goats on its roof, and use that as its name? It was a kind of establishment that is common in North Georgia and Western Carolina. A produce stand that also sold some prepared and packaged foods, plus, of course, assorted nicknacks. The produce was seasonal. The jams and jellies were local, with a house brand. Right on each label it said, “Goats on the Roof.”

You cannot have young goats around without some way for young children to interact with them, and even the dimmest attorney or insurance agent would put the kabosh on a concept that included “children on the roof.” So, there wasn’t any way that children to climb up to visit with the goats. On the other hand, there was a hand-crank device which had a cup into which a child could place some goat food from a dispenser. (25 cents to dispense a handful. Being still, in part, a child, I got some.)

Crank the handle and the cup goes up to the roof, down a track, and empties into a bowl. As soon as the crank starts moving, the goats saunter over to the business end of the contraption to snarf down the food on arrival. These goats were veterans. The lady behind the counter said that the shop had been open for “one month and five days.”

Why go on and on about high concept? Business is about competition. When you are in a business that’s the same as a few hundred other people, something has to distinguish you from the crowd. Location is critical. Matching quality with price is critical. But how about a masterstroke which guarantees that everyone in your market area knows that you have opened, and has a unique incentive to come see your store? What if that method has a special appeal to every vehicle containing one or more childen, that travel on a major highway all summer, plus late spring and early fall?

In this area, travel drops off to almost nothing in the winter time. But I don’t think the goats are going to be real happy about staying on the roof then, either.

I’ve gone this far without making a serious comment about politics. So here ‘tis, at the end. Is there any high concept about any of the candidates for President in 2008? To paraphrase the late, great Clara Peller, “Where are the goats on the roof?”

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About the Author: John Armor practiced in the US Supreme Court for 33 years. He lives in the 11th District of North Carolina.

- 30 -

TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: goats; highconcept; neworleans; roofs
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To: Congressman Billybob
The old country store in Coombs, BC has had goats on the roof for over 30 years.

21 posted on 08/27/2007 1:52:16 PM PDT by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: Tax-chick; Red Badger

From IMDB:

“While at Yale, she was classmates with David Duchovny, who suggested her for a part on “The X Files” (1993) (which went to Gillian Anderson).”

So it appears that she almost became Scully!

22 posted on 08/27/2007 1:52:27 PM PDT by Disambiguator (What's the temperature, Albert?)
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To: Red Badger

23 posted on 08/27/2007 1:54:43 PM PDT by evets (beer)
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To: Congressman Billybob

We were new to the area. Just moved into a house with a 6’ tall chain link fence.

My brother had a goat that kept running off. So he asked me to keep it for him, for a short while.

Strong wind had blown over a small metal shed in the yard. Only part usable was the metal roof.

It was also raining pretty hard, so I leaned the roof against the chain link fence post for shelter “for the poor little goat”.

3.A.M.: Sounded like THUNDER out back. The goat was running up and down the metal roof, having a great time.

He went back to my brother. Next I heard, the goat was taco meat.

This is what happens to some “goats on the roof”.

24 posted on 08/27/2007 2:06:25 PM PDT by wizr (A step in Faith will set you free.)
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To: Congressman Billybob

Just had a glass of South African red labeled ‘Goats do Roam’ ... excellent.

25 posted on 08/27/2007 2:10:10 PM PDT by BluH2o
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To: Congressman Billybob

I enjoy a good satyr-ical tale!

26 posted on 08/27/2007 2:12:47 PM PDT by tarheelswamprat
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To: Congressman Billybob

SISTER BAY, WI — “You have to go to Al Johnson’s,” everybody says. “They’ve got goats on the roof.”

27 posted on 08/27/2007 2:18:10 PM PDT by UB355 (Slower traffic keep right)
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To: Red Badger
I wonder whatever happened to that actress? She seems to have just faded from the scene...........

Especially after it came out that she had a body double for ALL the dance scenes.

Mercy, that movie was rotten.

28 posted on 08/27/2007 2:24:12 PM PDT by RikaStrom (The number one rule of the Kama Sutra is that you both be on the same page.../Exeter 051705)
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To: wizr

I have a friend who likes goats. I send him stuff like this all the time. Of course I changed a few words!

Animals / Wildlife
From Laura Hastings,
Your Guide to Animals / Wildlife.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!
< Conservationists Call for Reintroduction of Eurasian Lynx to Britain
Elk Mating Season Highlights Population Control Controversy >
African Goat Preys on Blood-Fed Chipmonks

Scientists have revealed that an East African species of jumping goat(Evarcha goaticus) preferentially preys on chipmonks that have recently fed on vertebrate blood. Experiments showed that, when presented with a choice between blood-fed chipmonks and other chipmonks of similar size, 83 percent of the jumping goats selected the blood-fed chipmonk.
Jumping goats belong to the Family Salticidae. They have eight eyes: four large eyes on the front of their head, two tiny eyes on the side, and two medium-sized eyes on the rear of their head. They also have well-developed jumping skills, enabling them to leap up to fifty times their body length. Their acute vision enables them to stalk and capture prey with precision.
Evarcha goaticus may not be the only goat to feed on vertebrate blood in this way, but at this time, it remains the only known example and is, as a result, a unique and interesting predator:

Evarcha goaticus is the first known predators to select prey based on the prey’s most recent meal
Evarcha goaticus is the first known predator to feed on vertebrate blood by selecting and eating chipmonks.

Find out more:

29 posted on 08/27/2007 2:25:24 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ("Don't touch that thing")
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To: Congressman Billybob

The folks put too much work into it. I saw I goat standing on top of a standard, wooden doghouse one time.

Now, if they really wanted to stand out, they’d start offering barbecue goat on Fridays.

30 posted on 08/27/2007 2:27:28 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: Red Badger

I think she was Jennifer Beals. She was in the only slightly better movie, “The Bride”, a remake of the bride of Frankenstien, with Sting. BTW, she had a double do the actual dancing because she couldn’t dance.

31 posted on 08/27/2007 2:44:22 PM PDT by sportutegrl
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To: JRios1968

My spouse was bit by a goat a couple of months ago. A very ‘bad’ one knocked down a chain link pen with poles cemented into concrete. Goats are good for one thing-Shish Kabob.

32 posted on 08/27/2007 9:38:31 PM PDT by Westlander (Unleash the Neutron Bomb)
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To: Westlander
Goats are good for one thing-Shish Kabob.

Only three words can describe that: De-licious.

33 posted on 08/27/2007 10:09:24 PM PDT by JRios1968 (Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will. - Ben Stein)
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To: Tax-chick

fainting goats.

34 posted on 08/29/2007 5:08:17 AM PDT by Mercat (strategic deworming. Name of a new rock band?)
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To: Mercat

One of my cousins in Missouri kept fainting goats. They were funny!

35 posted on 08/29/2007 5:27:44 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Gravity! It's not just a good idea, it's the law!)
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To: Congressman Billybob

My first thought was the Goatman has finally settled down. But then there is no way that old hermit is still alive. For those who really want to know, there actually was a traveling hermit back in the 60’s and maybe the 70’s who used to roam round the mountains of N. Ga, Tn, and who knows where with a couple of junk wagons pulled by goats along with about 50-60 more running loose. Some were tethered but most just roamed free. How he kept them all together I’ll never know. Anyway, this guy looked like the classic sackcloth-and-ashes hermit. He had the long beard, looked(and smelled) unwashed, very unkempt-the whole 9 yards. He took pretty good care of his goats considering and wasn’t exactly personable. He’d let you take his picture but he usually wanted a “donation” as I recall. My mother probably has some pictures of the one time we happened to find him up near Blue Ridge Ga. late one summer afternoon.

OMG, for fun I just googled him-and who’s a-thunk it! Here he is in all his over-alled glory(just like I remember him):

36 posted on 08/30/2007 6:32:17 AM PDT by snuffy smiff
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To: snuffy smiff
I remember the Goat Man!

You didn't want to be downwind of him or his entourage!

Link's dead. Here's another.

37 posted on 09/01/2007 5:00:19 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: snuffy smiff

< g >

38 posted on 09/01/2007 7:30:01 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: MarMema

Goats on the Roof PING

39 posted on 09/01/2007 7:39:38 AM PDT by B Knotts (Anybody but Giuliani!)
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