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John Edwards: A Man For No Seasons (Burt Prelutsky: He's No Thomas More Fer Sure Alert)
Townhall.com ^ | 09/03/2007 | Burt Prelutsky

Posted on 09/02/2007 9:14:57 PM PDT by goldstategop

Recently, a friend wondered if John Edwards might not be the biggest hypocrite in our nation’s political history. I was taken aback. With so many Democrats vying for the honor, is it possible that the poster boy for the Hair Stylists of America, a man who’s held office for a scant six years, could beat out a bunch of seasoned veterans who’ve been in the public eye for several decades? If so, it could be the biggest upset since Truman bested Dewey back in 1948.

For those questioning why I immediately dismissed Republicans from the competition, it’s because when it comes to hypocrisy, they’re simply not in the same league as liberals. How many wealthy right-wingers, after all, make it a regular practice to insist that taxes be raised? But left-wing kazillionaires like Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi, who employ high-priced CPAs to keep their own tax bite to a bare minimum, are always demanding that the rest of us pay through the nose.

But let us return to the matter at hand. There’s no question that Mr. Edwards, an ex-lawyer who made his pile chasing ambulances with the fervor of a greyhound pursuing a mechanical rabbit, is certainly in the running. For instance, not too long ago, he told the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers that weapons and equipment used by America’s military should be made in the good old U.S.A. It got him a standing ovation. What he failed to mention, of course, is that, being a liberal, he is opposed to actually using any of that weaponry against our Islamic enemies.

He also told the labor union that he was against Americans driving gas-guzzling SUVs. This was just before he drove off in his own SUV. It kind of reminded me of 2004, when John Kerry, John Edwards’ running mate and mentor, was caught in a similar situation, and explained that he didn’t own the offensive vehicle, his family did.

Edwards, who carries on as if most of us would be better off living in Bangladesh, makes do in a 28,000 square foot house, which comes complete with basketball and squash courts. At the same time that he’s heating and cooling that monstrosity, he talks as if he’s as environmentally concerned as Ed Begley, Jr., on one of his more tedious days. At least when Marie Antoinette was noshing on her Napoleons, she didn’t begrudge the peasants their little piece of cake.

But if we’re honest, we have to admit that none of this is quite enough to separate Edwards from the competition. But then, like a two-legged version of the legendary race horse Silky Sullivan, he pulls away on the far turn and hits the wire a nose ahead of Gore, Reid, Biden, Byrd and Murtha. And of all places, he does it in Iowa. It was there that the man who crusades like a skinny Michael Moore on behalf of universal health coverage was asked if he’d like America to have the same program as Cuba. He first said he wasn’t sure. But then, like a student who’d been told once too often that there are no stupid questions, he asked if Cuba’s program was government-controlled. And this is the fellow who insists that Hillary and Obama are out of touch.

Ask Edwards about haircuts, and he’s a walking encyclopedia. Ask him who runs things in a Communist dictatorship, and he’s stumped.

So, should you ever find yourself on “Jeopardy!” with the category being Hypocrisy, and Alex Trebek says, “John Edwards,” be sure to buzz in with “Who’s the biggest, dumbest hypocrite in American politics?”


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Politics/Elections; US: North Carolina
KEYWORDS: breckgirl; burtprelutsky; democraticnomination; johnedwards; liberalism; manfornoseasons; silkpony; townhall
John Edwards? Why, he ain't no Thomas More fer sure. He's an undistinguished hypocrite with a big mansion and a bulging bank account.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

1 posted on 09/02/2007 9:15:02 PM PDT by goldstategop
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To: goldstategop

I hope he stays in to the bitter end. He’s just too funny to watch.

By the way I really recommend the Vanity Fair article. I love it where his mom bristles whenever anyone mentions the stories about him growing up in poverty.


2 posted on 09/02/2007 9:30:25 PM PDT by sinanju
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To: goldstategop

Now he’s proposing to make it mandatory that people go to the doctor regularly. Is there going to be doctor-visit police coming around to check our medical records?
This assclown is beyond parody.


3 posted on 09/02/2007 9:31:57 PM PDT by Newtoidaho (Global warming is a good thing!)
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To: Newtoidaho

All I want to know is, will he be sending a limousine to pick up people to take them to the doctor :-).


4 posted on 09/02/2007 9:38:32 PM PDT by psjones (u)
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To: goldstategop
...when it comes to hypocrisy, they’re simply not in the same league ... How many wealthy right-wingers, after all, make it a regular practice to insist that taxes be raised? But left-wing kazillionaires like Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi, who employ high-priced CPAs to keep their own tax bite to a bare minimum, are always demanding that the rest of us pay through the nose.

BINGO

5 posted on 09/02/2007 9:43:26 PM PDT by GOPJ (It's not the spelling ---- groupthink's killing newspapers.)
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To: sinanju

I agree. He’s especially hilarious when he sends his wife out to do his scrappin for him...;’}


6 posted on 09/02/2007 9:48:49 PM PDT by rockrr (Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion)
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To: goldstategop

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what Edwards’ game is.

That scumbag will never be elected President, and I doubt he has any kind of a significant leftover campaign warchest that needs to be laundered, so why is he running? Is he so delusional that he honestly believes he can catch fire because he is the only viable non-female, non-black candidate the rats have?

Oh.


7 posted on 09/02/2007 9:53:00 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: goldstategop

Right now, he’s leading, quite handily, in the polls for Iowa.

If he could win Iowa and get the momentum and go on to win the nomination; oh happy day, oh happy day. Whoever the GOP nominee is would beat him like a rug.


8 posted on 09/03/2007 12:05:35 AM PDT by no dems (In the General Election; we must not let America forget that Fidel Castro endorsed Clinton/Obama)
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To: goldstategop

Remember how funny Clinton was in 1991? Remember how unlikeable Gore was in 2000, and how close he came to winning? Remember how phony Kerry was, and how close he came?

Nothing funny about the Edwards candidacy. He will be nominated, mark my words.


9 posted on 09/03/2007 12:19:39 AM PDT by Graymatter
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To: no dems
Right now, he’s leading, quite handily, in the polls for Iowa.

That's not very flattering to Iowans.

10 posted on 09/03/2007 2:46:54 AM PDT by JoeGar
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To: goldstategop

I’ve been saying this since 2003: opie is an idiot.


11 posted on 09/03/2007 5:06:36 AM PDT by jmaroneps37 (Liberals are "American aliens." They were born IN America but they are not OF America.)
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