Skip to comments.Bush report touts Iraq's gains (Libbies, how's that MoveOn.org ad working?)
Posted on 09/15/2007 2:19:06 AM PDT by JohnHuang2
A White House status report on Iraq yesterday said the Iraqi government has made some progress since July on benchmarks for political reconciliation, but spotlighted continuing sectarian meddling with the military and national police by politicians. Continues...
Libbies, how's that MoveOn.org ad working?
First, liberals tried complaining hysterically that the 'surge is not working', and once they figured out what month they were in (January) and that the surge hadn't started, they tried passing non-binding resolutions and failed, so then they tried imposing deadlines for withdrawal and failed, so then they tried imposing absurd new requirements on the military and failed. Democrat nut groups then spent $12 million this summer trying to peel Republicans away from Bush on Iraq, and failed. Bush is such a lame duck.
Even Osama is upset at Democrats for not finding a way to force America to lose the war. In the lead-up to the sixth 9/11 anniversary, he launched a series of new videos meant to rally Democrats. At the rate he's putting out videos, Osama should appear in the next Democrat YouTube debate.
(Despite dire warnings that the videos showed al-Qaeda is now "reconstituted", no deaths were reported from the video attack.)
But Democrats these past few weeks have been working their little hearts out trying to preempt the report from Gen. David Petraeus with their own flurry of "reports" and "studies" -- "US auditor queries military casualty figures" (AFP), "Experts Doubt Drop In Violence in Iraq" (WaPo), "Study: Iraqi forces far from ready" (San Jose Mercury News), "Report: Progress is minimal" (Cox News Service), "Biden faults Petraeus' assessment" (AP), "Study: US Should Lower Profile in Iraq" (WaPo). One report said the legislature has failed to act on its agenda since taking office, hasn't met any of the benchmarks, while its members sit on their hands as U.S. troops work hard to bring security. But enough about the Democrat Congress.
Along with their "reports", Democrats have also tried accusing Gen. Petraeus of being a liar -- as opposed to being a Ted Kennedy, a William Jefferson, a Barney Frank, a John Murtha -- so then a new CBS poll comes out showing the public trusts U.S. military commanders more than Congress, 68%-21%.
Liberals insist that al-Qaeda's making significant progress in Iraq and that the surge is not working, but lately the news has been grim:
* Civilian deaths have come down by 70 percent in Baghdad, 45 percent in Iraq as a whole since the height of sectarian violence in December. (Liberal response: Plug ears with fingers and chant, 'The Surge Is Not Working, The Surge Is Not Working . . .')
* Ethno-sectarian deaths have come down 80 percent in Baghdad, over 55 percent in Iraq as a whole since December, when al-Qaeda supposedly 'won' the war. ('The Surge Is Not Working . . . ')
* Since the surge of offensive military ops began in mid-June, the number of attacks has been down in 8 of the past 12 weeks -- lowest in 15 months during the past two weeks. U.S. combat deaths are down significantly ('. . . Surge Not Working . . .').
* Some 4,409 weapons caches have been found and cleared since January 1, knocking down the number of IED attacks by 1/3 since June. Many of the weapons busts have happened with help from Iraqi locals that liberals insist don't want us there.
* The number of suicide attacks and car bombings -- a favorite of liberals -- has come down over 50 percent since their height in March.
* U.S. troops have bagged or killed over 2,500 al-Qaeda rank-and-file and over 100 key al-Qaeda honchos that Democrats insist are not in Iraq. Al-Qaeda is "winning" if its "mission" was to get its butt kicked.
* From Anbar to Diyala, Iraqis are turning against al-Qaeda-in-Iraq. Its support level is shrinking so fast, soon al-Qaeda-in-Iraq will draw most of its support from al-Qaeda-in-America, the Democrats.
Now liberals complain that the political "benchmarks" haven't been met. Libbies try hard to pretend to 'love the troops' and 'admire' the work they're doing, then insist they've failed because Iraq's parliament hasn't passed enough laws. Then they run an ad calling Gen. Petraeus "General Betray Us", a Benedict Arnold, a traitor -- as though he were a Democrat.
The New York Times, which 'loves the troops' so much it ran the MoveOn.org ad at a big discount, claimed that the Pentagon no longer counts deaths from car bombings as deaths from car bombings and the Washington Post claimed that an assassination is counted only when the bullet enters the back of the head and not the front -- both claims discredited by Gen. Petraeus, using charts with nice crayon colors so even liberals could understand.
At the hearings, Democrats accused Petraeus of being an accomplice for U.S. strategy in Iraq. Gotta hate that in a General. The press accused Republicans of focusing on the successes of the surge. Democrats focused on the "successes" of al-Qaeda -- then denied al-Qaeda's there. Rep. Ike Shelton began the hearing by complaining that the war in Iraq means U.S. troops are "not unavailable for other missions" -- such as protecting America from Japan, Germany, Kosovo, Italy, South Korea, and those fierce Barbary Coast pirates.
Rep. Tom Lantos complained that the Democrats' position on Iraq is being 'falsely' portrayed as "irresponsible" cut-and-run, when it's clear Democrats only support responsible cut-and-run.
In an attempt to discredit Gen. Petraeus, Lantos claimed that the "media" have "suggested that even Admiral [William] Fallon . . . has favored a more rapid and more substantial withdrawal." The media apparently got the scoop via fax from Kinko's in Abilene.
At one point in the hearing, some nuts from Code Pink, chanting "Generals lie, children die!", had to be dragged out of the hearing room. They were able to bamboozle security and enter the room in the first place by being their usual low-profile, indistinct little selves -- all dressed in pink and holding 'BUSH IS A WARMONGER' signs. Then there were more disturbances, with one kook flaying his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs -- but that was just Rep. Robert Wexler questioning Petraeus.
On the Senate side, Sen. Richard Lugar complained that not enough has been done to bring Sunnis and Shiites together. Lugar then went back to sleep.
Sen. Joe Biden, who's running for president, peppered Petraeus with questions, then Biden proceeded to answer them. Come to think of it, he repeatedly interupted himself. Sen. Barack Obama, who's running for president, said the gains from the surge have only been modest -- but the chart he was looking at was his own poll numbers. Sen. Christopher Dodd, who's running for president, said "I don't get the feeling there's any real opportunity or optimism that this is going to get better," especially not in Iowa nor New Hampshire. Sen. Hillary Clinton, who's running for president, said that to believe the surge is succeeding requires "the willing suspension of disbelief" -- something she's never done in her life. And I did not have improper campaign finance relations with Hsu!
Sen. John Kerry, who ran for president based on his 3 months in Vietnam (which he opposed) and opposition to the Iraq war (which he voted for), apparently kept confusing Gen. Petraeus with Gen. Westmoreland. Petraeus's appearance rekindled in Kerry such bleak recollections of Vietnam, Kerry grabbed a camera and started filming himself. Kerry got his butt kicked so hard during Q&A, he put in for another Purple Heart.
Bush is set to announce a reduction of U.S. troop strength back to "pre-surge" levels -- Democrats and al-Qaeda insist that's not enough. They want all troops out. And, while you're at it, dump the Patriot Act, SWIFT, terrorist surveillance, interrogations, re-erect the Gorelick Wall, give al-Qaeda Habeas Corpus, and have Jimmy Carter's foreign policy -- and America will be safe.
Seeking to protect themselves on Iraq, some Democrats claim all they want is to "redeploy" to Afghanistan. To make America safe, let's have a manpower shortage in Iraq -- where al-Qaeda is -- in order to start bombing Tora-Bora, where Osama is worm food.
Six years ago this day, on 9/11, nobody thought we'd go six days without another attack. Since then, the closest thing to terror on U.S. soil are televised close-up shots of Helen Thomas during pressers. Democrats insist 'we're losing, we're losing' and that al-Qaeda's stronger than ever and really "reconstituted", yet, six years on, all Democrats have got to show for is some rickety caveman sissy in lousy videos sporting a fake beard. Helluva victory there.
Twelve months after 9/11 and no attacks, "experts" insisted no big deal, al-Qaeda works on two-year cycles, attack is in the works, just you see. Two years after 9/11 and no attacks, "experts" insisted no big deal, al-Qaeda operates on four-year cycles, attack is in the works, just you see. Year 4 arrives, same array of "experts" insisted no big deal, al-Qaeda operates on six-year cycles. Year 6 arrives, al-Qaeda puts out a grainy video and the stock market soars 180 points. Democrats still insist al-Qaeda's winning, al-Qaeda's winning, but at some point you start thinking things aren't working out as the Jihad boys had planned when the best they've got are lame videos while getting routed in the Sunni Triangle. By any standard, Bush's Iraq and Afghan flypaper strategy is working..
Even more upsetting to liberals, the tapes suggest Osama's not a "Truther"! Nowhere does he say, 'Bush, you rock! Say hi to Papa for me! Need anymore Inside Jobs? Call me.'
My Two Cents...
Have a great weekend, y’all — God bless!
it should be to "get Amerika moving in the LEFT direction".
Just another tax hiking Dim, who bears a strong resemblance to John F'n Kerry (who served in Vietnam)....
ROFLMBO... great article... great humor... great facts...
It seems like it has been a long time wince I have seen a post from JohnHuang2. Been away a while?
“Wince” is not a Freudian slip, just a plain ordinary typo.
Good one! I missed Kerry’s 4th purple heart adventure.
I like how Bush gave the Democrats a political way out — the more success in Iraq, the more troops can come home.
So now if the Democrats want to fulfill their campaign promises, all they need to do is acknowledge success.
A polite way of saying that the liberals are seditious traitors.
Outstanding essay, John!
(The Wexler line was hilarious.)
Some classic and memorable lines in there. Especially about Wexler and Lugar.
Good post. Thanks.
Very funny. Thanks.
“One report said the legislature has failed to act on its agenda since taking office, hasn’t met any of the benchmarks, while its members sit on their hands as U.S. troops work hard to bring security. But enough about the Democrat Congress. “ TOO F’ng funny!!!
What a wonderful post, you have shown the Dem’s total hate of all things American perfectly.
No one on the net writes with more clarity than you.
Excellent, excellent wrap-up! Thank you!!!
You captured “al-Qaeda-in-America”’s week perfectly, and did it with your wonderful sense of humor.
I truly enjoyed reading it and found myself laughing out loud.
I have the feeling that if things keep going so well, it won’t be long before they start Jim Jonesing themselves
or, at the very least, get even more hysterical than they were this week.
Thank you for this wonderful post, and for the ping.
Good to “see” you. ;o)