Posted on 10/09/2007 5:55:50 AM PDT by reaganaut1
Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, “people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ‘Please don’t do that, because I’m gay.’”
The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. “Everyone looked horrified,” she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.
“I felt like I was a pariah,” she said, settled in her new home. “For me, it was a choice between life and death.”
Elderly gay people like Ms. Donadello, living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers or receiving home care, increasingly report that they have been disrespected, shunned or mistreated in ways that range from hurtful to deadly, even leading some to commit suicide.
Some have seen their partners and friends insulted or isolated. Others live in fear of the day when they are dependent on strangers for the most personal care. That dread alone can be damaging, physically and emotionally, say geriatric doctors, psychiatrists and social workers.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Of course the article does not mention as causes of loneliness the lack of children in homosexual relationships or the higher break-up rates of male homosexual relationships. Maybe some "lifestyles" are less conducive to happiness?
But the gay lifestyle has none of that...
My brother in law is the director of three “assisted living” facilities, I asked him about this article his response “b*ll shit”. Thats my only source of information about this story which to me does not pass the smell test.
I'm forced to be tolerant -- but they don't have to be?
No doubt the federal nanny will soon be supporting these old homosexuals. I guess they didn’t think they’d get to be sick and 80+ when they were criticizing us “breeders,” but now our children and grandchildren will have to pay for their upkeep in increased taxes.
Agreed. I volunteer with an organization that provides companionship for alone elderly nursing home residents and at that age, they simply don’t care what or who you are anymore.
People who choose deviant lifestyles do not think rationally of what life will be down the road. With the politically-correct promotion of being "identified" and becoming part of a class that is singled out for special recognition and treatment, even if it means deviant behavior, may be attractive to those who feel "left out" of belonging to SOMETHING, and they gravitate toward this abhorhent behavior as a means of joining a "group".
They don't join normally-adjusted, natural conduct society, but rather, join the deviant lifestyle community, and then whine when they find out it's not a rational or long-term solution to their problems.
Unfortunately for them, they become even MORE lonely and un-supported.
Since they don't have kids to give their money to they will be able to afford it, and you know the place will be kept spotless...
I’m sort of a “radical right winger” as they say about a lot of things, but I have a lesbian sister (I’m one of 6), and I am amazed at her life. She’s been in a monogamous relationship for over 20 years; they’ve adopted two boys, one of them was what you’d call a “serious risk” baby: abandoned, born to an addict in the ghetto, MAJOR fetal probs, etc. To see those boys grow up so well, to see them blossom under love and guidance, to see them so well-raised from such dangerous beginnings, I have to tell you I have become much more tolerant of folks’ sexual “identities.” My sister is a great - even an heroic - mom even if she’s a homosexual.
Yeah, well she forgot to mention making light of pedophiles, beastophiles, sexual predators and other deviant behaviors.
When they say they want tolerance, what they mean is that they demand acceptance.
I would agree with him if he's talking about staff treatment....but I have to agree with the story if it's regarding the residents. If you're in your 80's....you grew up in a time that being gay was not appropriate to talk about, be around or have welcomed to your social circles. She wants to "come out of the closet" with those of that era and feel welcome....she's deluding herself in thinking legislation is going to change it.
OK, so homosexuals TOTALLY depend on the approval of others for their well-being? Therefore it is akin to murder to have your own feelings about their poor choices? Boy those mean old ladies ... They should be the next ones in shackles.
The moron from Iran has said he wants to nuke us. They treat women lower than cattle. But, if they have no homosexuals in Iran, only then will the lemmings get upset.
What a bunch of freaky nut jobs we have in the world.
Sounds like your sister is making some good decisions. Going back to Martin Luther King (and Jesus) — is it not all about CHARACTER???
You can object to what people are saying without announcing your sexual proclivity.
She can always go the parade! www.zombilike.com
Maybe it is because gays are so catty, but I see them ride the popularity wave as long as possible, with an attitude of "I don't need anybody, I'm young and hot, everyone wants me, No need to be nice to the lessers" but then find themselves cast out due to their failing attractiveness. Then their attitude becomes "life is so unfair, all they care about is looks, can't they see me for more than that?", when it was they who perpetuated that very same value not much earlier.
It is a repeating pattern of sadness and loss.
This story is soooooo....
Of course the ladies at the beauty parlor will love it. They will tear up and as a group vow to be kinder to the gays and lesbians they know.
The NY Times counts on this.
It’s a national Oprah moment.
We live with the conduct and associations we choose. Unfortunately, “love the sinner and hate the sin” is harder to live by than ostracism.
Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen that lifestyle.
“this story which to me does not pass the smell test.”
I agree. First off, most if not all these problems are intrinsic in assisted living. Some workers are nice; some aren’t. Some residents are friendly; some aren’t. This article assumes that anything unpleasant that happens to them is because they are gay. It’s still all about them.
In nearly every situation where people meet and greet, some people feel uncomfortable or that they don’t “fit in”. It might be height, weight, hair color, lack of hair, race, religion, possessions, history, whatever. We all have things that attract and repel people. It seems that gays, however, tend to base so much of their identity on their sexual proclivities that anyone who isn’t totally accepting of them is assumed to be homophobic. It is very sad to be so wrapped up in just one tiny aspect of their lives, especially in their old age when proclivities decline in importance for everyone. They are the incredible shrinking gays whose primary identity is no longer that relevant.
Ooopss.....http://www.zombietime.com/
Funny, I was thinking the same thing. They could even have double beds in there!
I have trouble with the concept of homosexuals being “who they are”. No, it’s not who they are, it’s what they’ve chosen to do, nothing more or less. Chosen behavior carries with it consequences, no matter what that behavior is.
>>She wants to “come out of the closet” with those of that era and feel welcome....she’s deluding herself in thinking legislation is going to change it.<<
Yes, precisely. The idea that federal lawmaking will change ingrained attitudes is a typical liberal delusion. The better answer is private enterprise - assisted living facilities targeted to elderly gay people. I rather suspect that could be a profitable enterprise.
Just goes to show you there is no one who is a completely bad person.
Unfortunately, homosexuals tend to resemble mohammedens. When they are small and weak, they mind their manners. When their numbers reach a critical mass, they make life hell for everyone else.
Boggles my mind.
“Unfortunately, homosexuals tend to resemble mohammedens. When they are small and weak, they mind their manners. When their numbers reach a critical mass, they make life hell for everyone else.”
Bravo - you made my “quote of the day” wall!
Colonel, USAFR
I agree - and she is a very rare exception to the homosexual lifestyle...
I guess the old gay mare, she ain't what she used to be.
I have no sympathy whatsoever for anyone who announces that they have a wicked, perverted view of life and God’s creation, and expects others just to tolerate that. Back in the closet with them(!) instead of setting up a society where they take over whole streets and communities with their filth. RE-ENACT ANT-SODOMY LEGISLATION as it existed prior to WWII.
‘The dirty little secret of the (male) gay world is that once you are past your prime physically, your street value declines very quickly. There is always a boy younger and hotter than you, ready to take your place, and gays are notorious for always wanting to “trade up”.’
Much of this could be said about heterosexuals, too. My wife and I have 3 little kids, so we now have more important criteria by which to judge each other. Hmm, maybe intimate human relationships need more than lust to be stable.
“I have to tell you I have become much more tolerant of folks’ sexual “identities.””
I don’t have a problem with homosexuals. I have a REAL BIG problem with the “in your face attitude” of so many of them.
What they do in the privacy of their bedrooms should stay in their bedrooms.
I suspect I speak for many “homophobes”.
“...and you know the place will be kept spotless...”
BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA ;D!
“When they say they want tolerance, what they mean is that they demand acceptance.”
....exactly!....and more than that they demand recognition of homosexuality as normal.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
Mentally ill people "should be" housed apart from normal people.
Gee, lets see. She was born in 1926.
She thinks the ‘greatest generation’ is going to be happy to be in the company of those that generation thought for the last century were ‘deviants’?
Of course they don’t want to be around her. I can understand it completely. Its likely many of those that were ‘horrified’ had never actually known somebody that was ‘gay’ and ‘open about it’ in their lives, given the fact its a very very small percentage of the entire population.
The ‘greatest generation’ doesn’t feel the need to conform to the ‘new norm’, nor should they. Without them, its pretty clear that gays wouldn’t be ‘out’ in society today in the first place....although I serious doubt that ‘generation’ thought this was ‘why we fight’ at any time before, during or since.
All of our elderly should be treated with respect and compassion. But having federal laws mandating such is preposterous.
“SHOULD STAY IN THEIR BEDROOMS”
Yes, I understand. But does that mean that when you see my dyke-looking sister and her dyke-looking partner holding hands at the Zoo with their two boys, one white and one black, you feel angry or afraid?
I believe in traditional families. I will soon have my own. I’m just saying that my sister’s life - whether or not homosexuality is a sort of mental illness or a ‘bad choice’ - an observance of her admirable life has led me to be more tolerant of others.
I don't see any evidence of "bigotry" here. I see the residents expressing their own values and rejecting a person who admitted to being a pervert. I don't know that that constitutes bigotry. In fact, I would argue that it is MORE bigoted to expect everyone around her to simply shut up and pretend that they like her even though she practices acts many consider abominable.
The result of her outspokenness perversion, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless.
Fixed.
“Everyone looked horrified,
Maybe that's because they were horrified.
No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression.
Boo hoo. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. Better yet, maybe she should have sought to change her behavior instead of expecting everyone else to change theirs.
“I felt like I was a pariah,”
You should. You ARE.
“For me, it was a choice between life and death.”
And the winner of this year's Academy Award for Best Drama Queen in a Relativistic Setting is ...
Sorry, I don’t believe this “Gloria” persons story. Sounds like BS to me.
Sometimes tragedy results. In one nursing home, an openly gay man, without family or friends, was recently moved off his floor to quiet the protests of other residents and their families. He was given a room among patients with severe disabilities or dementia. The home called upon Amber Hollibaugh, now a senior strategist at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the author of the first training curriculum for nursing homes. Ms. Hollibaugh assured the 79-year-old man that a more humane solution would be found, but he hanged himself, Ms. Hollibaugh said. She was unwilling to identify the nursing home or even its East Coast city, because she still consults there, among other places.
Stories that refuse to name names and dates. I assume lies.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.