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Psychiatric Association Releases Final Report on "Lee Bollinger's Disease" (SATIRE)
TCS Daily ^ | 03 Oct 2007 | William S. Smith

Posted on 10/09/2007 11:15:41 AM PDT by DogByte6RER

Psychiatric Association Releases Final Report on "Lee Bollinger's Disease"

By William S. Smith : 03 Oct 2007

(SATIRENEWSSERVICE) The World Psychiatric Association (WPA) today issued its long-awaited, massive study on Intelligentsia Derangement Disorder (IDD). Known popularly as Lee Bollinger's Disease, IDD is characterized by profound disruption in cognition involving the most fundamental human attributes: language, thought, perception and desire for self preservation.

The disease has been found in epidemic proportions on university campuses. The WPA study, which included extensive case histories of every single academic in the United States and Western Europe, reports that 99.99999% of all, non-economist social science professors are affected as are almost all tenured members of the "Arts" faculties of universities throughout the developed world.

According to the Report's main author, Dr. Edith Erwachsenenwelt, M.D., Ph.D., the cognitive development of most sufferers of IDD ends in early adolescence whereas non-sufferers experience continued development of their cognitive capacities throughout adulthood. "The cessation of the process of adult cognitive development," said Dr. Erwachsenenwelt, "produces the following symptoms, all of which are exhibited by each and every IDD sufferer":

* an inability to distinguish between real and false threats to personal, cultural and societal safety; irrational beliefs about the role of universities in a free society (the WPA Report cites as examples all volumes of The Journal of the American Indoctrination Association);

* an obsessive need to make self-congratulatory statements about the perceived brilliance and enlightenment of irrational personal beliefs and thoughts;

* an uncontainable compulsion to support extreme forms of violence so long as such violence is explained as the manifestation of colonialism, discrimination, socio-economic disparity or indigenous religious belief (the Report cites all editions of the now defunct Soviet Peace Quarterly published by The Harvard University Press and Wahhabi Weekly published by a consortium of two hundred Middle Eastern Studies Departments;

* A simplistic understanding of various sophisticated concepts such as freedom of speech (the study cites, among numerous examples, "Khmer Rouge, Peaceful, Pastoral, Progressive", Academic Monthly, March, 1975 Vol 15, pp 215-240; and "9/11: an Issue of Free Speech for Jihadis", The Smart Sociologist, October 2001, Vol 27, pp 1445-2002);

* the obsessive and compulsive misuse of metaphors involving Adolph Hitler;

*a specific paranoid delusion involving a mythical demon known as "Bush!" who is ascribed extraordinary, supernatural powers (the WPA Report cites approvingly, the pioneering work that uncovered "Bush Derangement Syndrome", Krauthammer, Charles, M.D., American Journal of Progressive Delusions, 2003, Vol 902, pp 1435-2742 and 2005, Vol 1245, pp 4351-6572);

* an inability to express gratitude toward those who protect and sustain IDD sufferers (the Report cites the U.S. military and U.S. taxpayers) during the long duration of their illness; and,

*recurring hallucinations about Jews (the WPA cites the work of actual members of the intelligentsia, Mearsheimer and Walt in The Protocols of the Journal of Anti-Semitic Advocacy, July 2006, Vol 102,345,776, pp 1-1245; and the numerous delusional books and articles about Jewish conspiracies by such self-proclaimed members of the intelligentsia as Carter, J.E. among many others).

The WPA Report notes that IDD was first described by mental health professionals after its spectacular emergence in the 1933 Oxford Union debate in which members of the intelligentsia disdained self preservation and implicitly advocated genocide and universal war.

The WPA Report also describes the derivation of the popular term for the disorder: "Lee Bollinger's Disease". This term arose from the recent, well-known case in which the president of a highly-regarded American university invited a genocidal maniac to present a major address on campus. The speaker is a well-known, severely delusional criminal who:

* ordered the murder of homosexuals, academics, democracy advocates and innocent women,

* threatens genocide against Mr. Bollinger's own country and its allies,

* funds and supplies an army of murderous terrorists who are even now killing Mr. Bollinger's fellow citizens and

*is developing weapons of mass destruction with which to threaten the world.

Mr. Bollinger, in the manner of sufferers of severe cases of IDD, obsessively continues to claim that the invitation was a rational exercise of "freedom of speech" rather than a manifestation of the many symptoms of IDD described by the WPA Report.

The WPA Report suggests that the diagnosis of IDD is relatively simple. But it emphasizes that each and every symptom described above, and numerous others, must be present in order to make a definitive diagnosis. Dr. Erwachsenenwelt notes that "all the symptoms of IDD are always observed and easily identified, even by lay persons, usually within minutes of an initial interaction with the IDD sufferer."

The Report states that IDD is resistant to almost every form of therapy and since IDD sufferers constitute a grave threat to civilization, treatment of IDD consists of isolating the sufferer from society, usually in peaceful settings with fellow sufferers where their symptoms unfortunately reinforce those of the other sufferers but do less lasting harm to society.

Dr. Erwachsenenwelt noted that anecdotal evidence of cures of IDD do exist. "In one instance," she stated, "a mass cure of IDD apparently took place on September 11, 2001 in New York City. Unfortunately, this 'cure' was found to be temporary and the relapse into IDD has been almost universal among previous sufferers who reported the temporary cure."

Dr. Erwachsenenwelt added, "the 'September 11 Cure' does suggest one promising method of treatment: severe and continued exposure to the non-academic world. However, it would appear that the risk and expense of such therapy likely precludes its adoption on a mass scale. All of our studies suggest that keeping IDD sufferers in highly paid, non-challenging positions paid for by productive Americans is by far the most cost-effective treatment."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: academia; academicbias; brainwashing; columbia; leebollinger; liberalism; multicult; pc; satire; usefulidiots
This satire makes a great point...LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL DISORDER!
1 posted on 10/09/2007 11:15:43 AM PDT by DogByte6RER
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
2 posted on 10/09/2007 11:17:08 AM PDT by DogByte6RER ("Loose lips sink ships")
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
3 posted on 10/09/2007 11:17:48 AM PDT by DogByte6RER ("Loose lips sink ships")
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To: DogByte6RER

Hee hee! That’s pretty funny.


4 posted on 10/09/2007 11:18:35 AM PDT by American Quilter (Keep this great conservative web site going--donate to FreeRepublic!)
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To: American Quilter

The sad part is, most of it is probably true. I highly recommend that parents put their kids in private schools from the first grade through college, and hand pick the schools in relation to what they are teaching.


5 posted on 10/09/2007 11:25:00 AM PDT by RC2
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To: SirKit

Hilarious anti-Lib elite Ping!


6 posted on 10/09/2007 11:57:52 AM PDT by SuziQ
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To: DogByte6RER

7 posted on 10/09/2007 1:20:14 PM PDT by crazyshrink
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To: DogByte6RER

101!

“Erwachsenwelt:” The world of grown-ups.


8 posted on 10/09/2007 5:53:40 PM PDT by Erasmus (My simplifying explanation had the disconcerting side effect of making the subject incomprehensible.)
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