The following is simply my opinion . ..
Don’t forgo the 2nd and 3rd child!!! I don’t see that; better they live, and you live a full life, than to salt away material things that can be taken from you anyway. Screw the financial planners, live with courage, and trust God to reward you for doing the right thing in terms of having more children. Hell, tithe 10% to your church as well. You’ll do fine.
Maybe, but maybe not (do fine with so much less money), esp. considering my wife’s job must be in expensive SoCal.
This area is filled with people who had way too many kids relative to what they could afford. Such, in my opinion, was not the right move, either for them, for their kids, or for the other taxpayers who get to soak up the financial slack.