Could they use pointed sticks (with corks on them)...
There you are, going straight to the pointed sticks, when her local police probably haven't even finished their training in defending against assault by every form of fruit! Now, take this banana and have at me!!
(Judging from this idiot woman's statements, I have to assume she grew up watching too much Monty Python and mistaking it for the news. Then again, John Cleese fended off the banana attack by shooting the assailant, so I guess he'd be banned from her town, too.)