Posted on 11/13/2007 7:08:30 AM PST by Responsibility2nd
“It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce.” This is a misleading statement. It does not distinguish between first and only marriages and those subsequent to a first marriage.
I’m with you. My kids are almost 16 now (boy/girl twins) and we have been married going on 25 years. I think many marriages are not based upon true commitment, but because “it was time” to get married. My own sister’s first marriage failed because it seemed to her that she should either marry the guy she was dating at the time or break up with him. She should have chosen the latter.
On the occaisions that I am asked my opinion about marriage, my advice is: Don’t marry someone because you think you could spend the rest of your life with him/her. Marry someone you could not spend the rest of your life WITHOUT.
Marriage ought to be like combining salt and water— hard to separate back into the original parts. Many marriages today are like salt and rocks— never really combined into one substance and, while it may be difficult and messy, separable.
Stats have it that Christian couples stay married, especially Catholic ones.
Dr. Tom Ellis, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages -- or 0.00256 percent. 9
:) Whew. Thanks from all the women whose moms never taught them how to cook. Of course, competing in sports through my college years usually had me at a practice and nowhere near a kitchen long enough to do more than nuke something or stop at the cafeteria on the way home.
“...meanwhile no man from any other country want (outside of an easy hookup) anything to do with an American women.
Why do you think that is?”
“No”? man...pretty conclusive...
I think those men from ‘any other country’ are Momma-boys who treat women like chattel...
Too cool! We’re with CCAI ourselves. Should be going over in early summer.
My observation from a real-life situation, all it takes for any parent to get custody of the children after a divorce — spend a ton of money and hire a very good attorney. Justice is bought in our domestic court system.
To win against a good attorney is possible, but it takes years of bringing it back to the court, with good evidence, again and again. Eventually, a fair judgement can be had — but unfortunately it is the children who have to suffer through the years of court battles.
For the children’s sake, don’t give up on getting them out of a bad homelife. It is worth it — no matter who much it costs.
Off the top of my head it is 30%.
You are partly right. In my opinion, I think there are several causes of marriage and family breakups.
One has to do with, as I said before, the pressure to marry. We often jump into marriages that should never have been. We also have a cavalier attitude toward marriage — if it doesn’t work out, we’ll get divorced, find someone else, etc. People often don’t want to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work and to raise healthy, well adjusted children.
My father in his early days was a drunk. Mom finally one day told him basically to shape up or ship out. This was a gutsy move on her part. Mom was a very devout Catholic and as such, would not divorce him. She also had a ninth grade education, so if Dad called her bluff, she would have had a difficult time supporting herself and my brother (I wasn’t born yet). Fortunately, Dad wised up. He stopped drinking and from then on, he became a good and responsible husband and father. And Mom and Dad were a team. Whatever had to be done, they usually worked together. They were good parents — tough when they had to be, but most of the time, loving and supportive. They made a lot of sacrifices for each other and for us children.
I would have liked to have had a marriage like theirs, but I’m not sure that’s possible in this day and age of no commitment, anything goes, no responsibility, etc. etc.
That's that best advice I've seen. Most men think that if they've been wronged then the case will go in their favor. No way. Get the best lawyer money can buy and fight.
I see a lot of this in the navy. The military almost sets people up for failed marriages and this is probably the main reason the military divorce rate is so high.
It works like this: In many commands if your are an E-4 or below in rank, you have to live on base in a dormatory-style barracks and eat at the base galley. Unless you are married. If you are married, you get a significant supplement to you paycheck to pay for housing and food. Many young service members, 18 to 20 years old, take the plunge with their high school sweethearts because they want that extra income and the ability to move off base. Of course, the first time they deploy overseas, their teen-aged spouse is left at home alone with the freedom of having her own apartment and a bank account full of money. She's never really sowed her wild oats yet and hooks up with all the other members of the "lonely wives club" and very often, disaster ensues. It isn't really fair to blame it on her though. She's young and as you said, married for the wrong reasons.
That is the lie sold by therapy crowd for their own benefit. The fact is it's as much crap as "everyone has a right to happiness." Lots of people say it, but few actually examine it for validity.
Church.
Average murder conviction is 11 years. So it could be reasonably postulated that killing your spouse COULD be less burdensome both financial and jail time than getting a divorce and then going to jail for non payment of support.
actually Michael Medved had the link the the cenus data that said that is two people get married for the first time today, their chances of staying together are 30%. 70% of first time marriages stay together. The 50% figure comes when multiple marriages, which have a much higher fail rate, are factored into the mix.
That sounds like the start of the case of Betty Broderick who divorced her powerful lawyer husband and ended up killing him and his new wife.
It is tough to sue a lawyer and is an exception to what usually happens where the court favors the women.
The system needs more equity than exists or the institution of marriage will be progressively degraded.
hmmmmm
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