Posted on 11/19/2007 3:19:05 AM PST by pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter "W":
Senator Barack Obama suggested Tuesday that Baby Boomers like Bill and Hillary Clinton are stuck in the contentious Sixties. He sees himself as a man ahead of his times. He's already demanding that President Bush bring our troops home from Iran.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel visited President Bush at his ranch Friday. He put on blue jeans and picked her up in his truck. The only reason we elected him was because we wanted a president who would put his pants on before he picks up women.
GOP candidate Ron Paul drew cheers on Saturday at a Veterans Day weekend rally in Philadelphia. He vowed to return to constitutional government as laid out by the Founding Fathers. Barack Obama has more at stake in this election than he thought.
Hillary Clinton's campaign admitted planting a question for the candidate with an audience member in Iowa last week. It's not the end of the world. If she doesn't make it to the White House, Hillary can always host a show on the Food Network called Fudging the Facts.
Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas dedicated a new mausoleum Saturday for the remains of the late PLO leader Yasser Arafat. Some things never change. It's so dangerous in the Middle East that he still has to sleep in a different mausoleum every night.
Barack Obama took a swipe at Hillary Clinton Saturday saying the country needs conviction not calculation, while John Edwards implied that's she's evasive and dissembling. The Republicans are warming up in the bullpen. The day Hillary Clinton retires from public life she has a lifetime job waiting for her as a greeter at Target.
Hillary Clinton led the field of Democratic presidential candidates who met for a debate last night in front of an audience in Las Vegas. Everybody ought to come to Las Vegas just once in their lives. It's like being Bill Clinton for a day.
Bill Clinton caused a storm Monday by telling an audience in Iowa that Hillary can handle herself against the boys. Her campaign assured reporters that the term boys is simply an old Southern slang term. It is, but not for white presidential candidates.
-- Argus Hamilton
- - Leno
- - Letterman
"Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying to Improve Her Image."
10. She announced a new line of designer pantsuits (Jon E, San Diego, CA)
9. Promises to appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court (Gerardo G, Houston, TX)
8. Strongly endorses both sides of every issue (Jeff M, Middletown, NJ)
7. Apologizes and checks into rehab for no apparent reason (Paul L, Eagle River, WI)
6. Borrowing John Edwards' conditioner (Richard O, Crosby, TX)
5. Promises pudding for all Americans. Everyone loves pudding! (Mark M, Apopka, FL)
4. After two weeks of practice, can now sustain a 4-second smile (Ross B, New London, WI)
3. Helping Dennis Kucinich return to his home planet (Gary B, Hagerstown, MD)
2. Showing she's tough on drugs by throwing out Bill's Viagra (Mike H, Mount Tabor, NJ)
1. Offering to use her frigidity to combat global warming (Dave O, Ottawa, ON)
- - Letterman viewer's (from his website)
After extensive consultations with worldwide Islamic leaders, including Osama Bin Laden, leading Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has announced that, in respect for and in keeping with strict Islanmic tradition, she will use an Islamic name when addressing audiences of Muslims.
From now on, she will be known as
Sal-dam Bin Lahed
when speaking to these groups.
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On a trip to Great Britain while he was President of the United States, Bill Clinton had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. During that meeting he asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"
"That's easy," the Queen replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors."
"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" asked Bill.
"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in." When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me."
"Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?" Blair replied, "That's easy. The child was me." "Very good," said the Queen. "You may go now."
Sizing up his wife's chances in her presidential bid, and thinking back on that meeting, Bill Clinton spoke to Hillary. He said to her, " I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. "Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was that child?"
Hillary replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer. Can I deliberate on this for awhile?" "Yes," said Bill, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."
So Hillary called a meeting of her campaign team, from top to bottom, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. She was quite upset, not knowing what she would tell her husband, the former President. As Hillary was leaving her meeting, she ran into her most formable challenger to her presidential nomination, Barack Obama.
So she said, "Mr. Obama, can you answer this riddle for me? Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?" "That's seems pretty easy," said Obama,"I think the child would be me."
"Oh thank you," said Hillary. "You may just have ensured my nomination for the democratic candidate for the Presidency of the United States!" So Hillary went back to Bill and said, "I think I know the answer to your riddle."
"The child was Barack Obama!"
"No, you dummy!" shouted Bill. "The child was Tony Blair"
.................... and we may get the two of them again running the Country!
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Health Care
Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor says, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, "You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains, put her in the White House, and then half the country will be out looking for work."
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Political Cryptoquote:
QO SEL KBV GSEFGKO TBQ
BAZ CGMOJ IBACR UO SBZO
XZAJVZEVGKF EKR IBSDCOP
- UAV IBKFZOJJ IEK.
- IACCOK TGFTVBQOZ
SUPERSIZED
(Thank you, Dan Lacey [faithmouse.com])
(Thank you, usmcobra)
Good morning!
Heh! Thanks, Pookie!
Thanx Pookie!
Another great week of fun!!! Thank you.
"Are those shoes new?" - for some reason that line really made me laugh ...
Size 12? Click "me" below...
Good one. Now I've got a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day, I'm sure...LOL.
Mornin’, and many thanks for the ping and the ‘toons, Pookie! Now on to the ‘toons!
Well, if it's in your head, you might as well know my favorite "word" in the song. Click "me" again & figure it out...
OK, I give up... ( brain in neutral ) ;^)
As always, BRAVO!
ping
Barack Obama took a swipe at Hillary Clinton Saturday saying the country needs conviction not calculation, while John Edwards implied that's she's evasive and dissembling. The Republicans are warming up in the bullpen. The day Hillary Clinton retires from public life she has a lifetime job waiting for her as a greeter at Target WalMart.
Love the toons!
Thank you for the great toons, pookie!
Great toons today pook, thanks for all the hard work.
I better post some more quick...have ~3" of snow on the ground & it's still coming down :-(
Now this isn’t fair.....Political Cryptoquote: You gotta help the dunce....thanks.
Freepmail?
BTTT
Thanks, Pookie!
Sure glad to see that the writer’s strike hasn’t hurt the quality of Pookie’s toons!
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