Howie Carr column ping
Caution: Hunters at work
Human season arrives with a bang
By Howie Carr | Sunday, November 25, 2007 | http://www.bostonherald.com
Shotgun deer-hunting season begins in Massachusetts tomorrow, but it just aint what it used to be. The native hunter population has scattered south and north. Gun and rod clubs rank high on the moonbat hit parade. And the spread of dental insurance has reduced the number of toothless yahoos stumbling drunkenly through the woods around here every first Monday after Thanksgiving.
Still, tomorrow will not be a good day to be a cow in Massachusetts - or a stop sign. You know, youre out drivin around in your pickup truck, jes itchin to pull the trigger on something - anything! - and you aint seen a deer in a month o Sundays, and you and Billy Bob jes keep a-poundin them Budweisers down, and what the Sam Hill is a body supposed to do? You gots to shoot something, even if its mooing.
And now theyre saying King Tut may have been killed in a hunting accident. Could they still test his blood-alcohol level after all these centuries? The word is he may have fallen from a chariot. Hunters still fall to their deaths, but usually its from a tree stand, the second-most-common cause of death among hunters, after being shot by a close relative.
Lets go straight to this years stack of hunting accident stories.
Texas: A 35-year-old Waco man was found dead in a tree stand after dropping his deer rifle, causing the gun to fire into his chest. In addition to the nimrods corpse, the local paper reported that also in the stand were several empty beer cans, including a half-empty can sitting in an insulated drink holder.
Florida: A 31-year-old hunter was killed when he tossed a loaded 9mm handgun to a friend in the woods. The second hunter caught the gun by the trigger and it fired, sending a bullet first through the shooters other hand and then through his friends chest. Is it possible alcohol may have been involved in this misadventure?
Arkansas: A 44-year-old hunter was found dead, dangling from his tree stand. The sheriff speculated that the hunter lost his balance. I wonder why. The deerslayer then fell backwards with his feet stuck in the stand and died from hanging upside down for a long period of time. Do you suppose Bambi came along for a good laugh while the blood was rushing to his head?
How about some kinsmen killing kinsmen in the woods? These stories are filled with words like mistook, distraught, ricocheted and stray bullet.
Someday someone will research the correlation between the start of hunting season in the redneck districts and an increase in dismissal of suits involving disputed wills. Its amazing how often two close relatives go into the woods and only one returns.
Wisconsin: A grandfather mistook his 18-year-old grandson for a deer and blasted him to kingdom come in Saxeville a week ago today.
Utah: A 9-year-old boy hunting geese with his 51-year-old uncle didnt bag any birds, but he did manage to kill Uncle Chad when his shotgun accidentally discharged. This was the second fatality of the season in Utah. A 44-year-old nimrod was killed by a friend who was climbing over a fence with a rifle slung over his back. It too accidentally discharged.
Michigan: A 24-year-old man drilled his father in Dads own back yard. The lad was looking for an animal hed shot earlier when his father ventured outside - not wearing anything orange. Pops never had a chance.
Connecticut: A 51-year-old Berlin deer hunter was shotgunned by his stepson.
Michigan: A man was flushing deer from hedges in order to give his son a clean shot. The son got one: He shot Dad in the hip.
New York: A 76-year-old man hunting with six relatives died after being shot in the hip. The undersheriff could not confirm whether the geezer was gunned down by a blood relative. No word on whether anyone in the shooting party was contesting a will.
Nebraska: A drug dealer was charged with manslaughter after shooting a hunter in front of his 15-year-old son. The drug dealers brother said his sibling was trying to shoot a coyote.
All I can say is, if you feel the call of nature tomorrow while driving to work, dont pull over and walk into the woods - unless youre wearing an orange blazer to your job. Otherwise, it could be the last pit stop you ever make. Theyre out there!
THANK GOD he’s back!!!! Drivetime was NOT the same without him.
It would be an improvement if they left the ten to noon slot with Avi Nelson, IMO.
Are there any websites which presently keep track of all Massachusetts ballot initiatives which are trying to get onto the ‘08 state ballot?
So, what was the story that Marine Medivac guy was talking about before they cranked up the tunes and hit the dump button? Something about Billy Bulger and a $500k payoff?