For Christmas this year, I want you to make me into a privileged and protected minority so I can take to the streets, protest and act out every time something doesnt go my way, and scare the goverment and businesses into giving me all sorts of freebies, privileges, perks, and goodies cause theyll be afraid of being called mean and racist.
Santa, I also want to be able to go to any college I want to, with no questions asked, no documentation required, and to have translators with me at every moment to “protect” my “rights”, my “culture” and to ensure that the mean old gringos fall all overthemseves to give me whatever I demand under pain that I’ll have 5000 ACLU/La Raza/MALDEF rabble rousers out on the campus green howling and waving signs within the hour if my “legitimate” and “just” demads are not immediately met.
Oh, and I want all that plus not having to work unless I want to, and if I decide to, I get to pick the language which employers are forced to learn in order to communicate with me, or else me and my compatriots will go tell our radical community organizers and well all yowl, protest and sue via tha ACLU until we get lots and lots of money and every employer has to learn our language and respect our culture and in general bow down to us and kiss our priviledged patoots.
Oh, and Santa, if you can arrange to have our country of origin choice have real obnoxious and uppity current and former presidents tell the mean old racist Americans that our territory is wherever we are and hang our hats, that would be really cool too!
Hope you didnt copyright that because I am stealing it.
And one more thing Santa. I want to be able to get a drivers license too. You know, one of those official government documents that allows me to travel throughout the United States of Mexico, I mean America and not raise any suspicion at all. Along with my phony Social Security number and the drivers license I will be able to fool the gringos and be able to vote. Democrat of course.